All comics by ArtemisStrong

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by ArtemisStrong
2-07-06
I'm getting the hell out of here. Out of Thailand: City of Illegitamite Children.
What about the Heroin?
You cant turn your back on your feelings! Neither a drug enhanced end-of-all-life-as-we-know-it free-for-all! It is all unturningyourbackable!
Many thanks for all you've given me... but all good things must come to an end. And so must this. Give my love to Ping, Sah-lee, Nana Gooi and Pinjara.
At least, I think that's the names they were yelling to me as I ran hastily from them. Whatever. Next stop, Las Veg-CRAP!
I smell a Visa Check© Card.

 

by ArtemisStrong
2-07-06
Two tickets to Las Vegas Nevada please. And can we rush this, I'm in a bit of a hur- DANG!
Sir? Two tickets to Las Vegas. Okay. Alright, here you go, enjoy your flight.
Oh, heh, that was fast. I was worried that would... uhm take longer. You don't know me, do you?
Sir? I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone else. Here's your tickets and thank you for visiting Thailand.
Oh phew. It's just been such a crazy- Wait. Why are you smiling thus?
Kekkekekeke, you caught me! I be you daughter Sun-Look! You gonna use that credit card for my braces? I want Lasik Surgery©!

 

by ArtemisStrong
2-07-06
Well, okay, not the most reputable looking of planes... But it will be great to get home. Away from the craziness. Relax before it all ends, and...
Well?!
You musta forgot me! I smuggle aboard. Can we go to Wyoming after Vegas, Dad? I wanna see the fable Laramie! Get me some Coke! Microwave popcorn. Hummer! Coffeemate! Wireless Internet!

 

by ArtemisStrong
2-07-06
I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!! MAKE IT END NOW!!!
Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy! DADDY! Father! Daddy, dad, daddy, daddy, daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!
NOOOOOOOOOOOO-AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-YARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-HUAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-NEYAHAYRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UGHHHHHHHHHH-
dadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadad-
"-ad... ad... ad... d... ... ..."
-HHHHHHHEEEEE- uh? Wh-... wherem I? Wet. Stink. Crap in my pants. Covered. In. Jiz.
Phew, I was just sleeping.

 

by ArtemisStrong
2-07-06
The following morning we had "breakfast" at Lou's.
... and to top it all off, all this shit was happening while the world was gonna' end in 30 days.
30 days left, huh?
Yah. It was dream logic, y'know? So like I just KNEW this. The reason, it was vague. Something like... Earth... losing spin... rotation getting like smaller... We were heading... to the sun.
Oh, Hehhah! That is so ridiculous! We're heading AWAY from the sun! And we have 10 days left! Dreams are so funny, yah?!
Oh... yah, huh. That is pretty fucked up, aint it? Let's do a shot.

 

A bug-man, I can take. The putrid smell, I can stand. The viscous fluid draining from under his exoskeleton, tolerable. But this Phoebe Cates obsession... I'm gonna have to break it off.
And of course her career reached its apex with "Gremlins 2". Don't get me wrong, I still consider "Drop Dead Fred" an American classic.
by ArtemisStrong, 2-26-06

 

by ArtemisStrong
3-14-06
I won the LOTTO!
Yah. The BUTTFUCK lotto, dunce!
I KNOW. I LOVE BUTTFUCKING!

 

by ArtemisStrong
3-14-06
Enter your cave... Good... And there, you will find--- your power animal...
We've got to save the MISFITS!
Fuck.

 

by ArtemisStrong
3-14-06
President Madhu must now kill to sate his bloodlust.
You look like my mom.
Dude I aint gonna be no one's mom, 'kay?
My mom would make me shave her legs. I... wanna stab... stab stab stab... you you you... stab you good... good, stab, good, you stabbed, good, stab... I WANNA STAB YOU!
Hey, yer kin'a cute. Wanna' go have coffe with me at my apartment? We could maybe do this stabbing thing that you want.

 

by ArtemisStrong
3-14-06
President Madhu must now cover up another killing.
God, the things I do to sate my bloodlust. And for free coffee.
President Madhu, you are under arrest-- I mean... How do we spin this one?
I dunno. Suicide?
10 different passersby witnessed you stabbing her fat ass. And screaming. And pouring the blood over your naked chest. And quoting old Gallagher routines.
Hm. I don't ever recall watching a Gallagher special. Oh no- wait- I love him, that's right.
So, I'm on my own on this one is what you're trying to say?

 

by ArtemisStrong
3-14-06
Chief Of Police Clustërfukk must now talk to a journalist on the scene and explain this all away.
... an this one time, my friend got this huge novelty party cake, right? Y'know how like strippers come in them an' shit? Well, he gets in it an-
Y'know this was a lonely, fragile, innocent, obese, goth rock obsessed girl who was murdered today, right?
Right... So what happened with the party cake?

 

by ArtemisStrong
3-15-06
========================================================================================================================================================================================================
I hate going shopping with mom...
Making us try all sorts of clothes on...
========================================================================================================================================================================================================
It's so boring... I wanna go home...
... Play some video games... But no, no escape from Mom's shopping trip...
========================================================================================================================================================================================================
What does she want now... I'm so bored...
You boys must find SOMETHING for the Shit Gala tonight! I will not be going to the most important Vomit N' Eat event of the year and be embarassed by a bunch of misbehaved, shabby-dressed children!

 

I just shit my pants... And I already had shit them earlier. Now they are doubly-shit! Oh, worry of worries...
by ArtemisStrong, 4-14-06

 

by ArtemisStrong
4-14-06
Hey, DUMB-rite!
Yah...?
Uhm... uhh...
... Nevermind...

 

by ArtemisStrong
4-20-06
Fuck, you fart?

 

.
by ArtemisStrong
5-04-06

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-12-06
If we wish HARD enough... WE CAN BECOME ANYTHING WE WANT! Wish Baco'! WISH!
I'm Jude Law.
But I want to be Jude Law...
Arrr! Look at me! I'm Jude Law! I'M SCARY!

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-12-06
This is pretty short for a break-up note...
"You missed."

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-12-06

... ...
"You missed."

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-12-06
And so then I says...
I finally got me some "vagina"! AHAHHAHHAHAH!
But seriously folks, we're hot on the trail of the murderer at this very moment.

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-12-06
UUUUHHHOOOOOO-WHAAAAAAAA-HHHHH!
Well... I'm pooped.
So... you gonna' go down on me or what then?

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-12-06
I gotta pee.
ARRGH! MUTINOUS BASTARDS LIKE YE DON'T GET TO PEE! SCUM!
I... I'm sorry- I don't know what came over me.

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-12-06
Hi-dee-ho, good neighbor Satan!
I could be huge if I wanted.
A-ho-ho, I'm sure there, Satan!
I could be big. Like a wrestler. Like with their big muscles. I'd be strong-looking for the ladies. Girls would want to date and kiss me.
Indeedy there, Satan. Y'know... I like you... a lot... wh- why doncha come over later? 'Bout sixish. Yah?
Yeh, we can stay up late and play Playstation! I'll bring Doritos!

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-12-06
I broughted "NAMCO Classics Museum: Vol.2"!
Well, Hi-DEEE-Ho there, my good buddy Satan.
We're gonna' play video games now? Can I get some Doritos?
Yah, yah, sure, sure. Just follow me, will ya'?
Being Charlie's neighbor is a lot of fun. I think I'll convince God to banish him to Hell for eternity so's we can be pals forever and ever.

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-13-06
Where's the Playstation?
I, uh, don't have THAT. But you can plug into my P2P!
We can touch penises, you see?

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-13-06
Holy Shit! Where are we?
The Eternal Ring Of Minos!
It's where satans go to touch penises.

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-13-06
Charlie... I had fun last night. Bu- Bu- But...
But what, good neighbor Satan?
Was we supposed to do such things?
Well, no. Not really. I- I took advantage of your sweet ways. Really, I'm disgusted with myself. Lock me up and throw away the key, they should. I'm a sad, sick, evil man.
Oh... I'm cool then.
So we on for Thursday?

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-13-06
Do I scare you?
Not particularly.
Do you love me?
Shmeh.
DAMNIT ABE, WHEN WILL YOU MASTER THE "EMOTION CHIP"?

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-13-06
I don't know about you, but I sure as Hell dont like Mexicans crossing America's borders illegally.
What are you, some kind of racist, nationalistic xenophobe?
Yes.

 

What Are They Talking About?
Jism?
No... more like ass lube. Or maybe licking a taint. But the other one is like used-up anal beads.
by ArtemisStrong, 5-14-06

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-16-06
What the hell?
Ah-Ha! It is I, Abe Vigoda! I want to change your life!
Wow! Cool, sure, yeh, do it!
Then... I will ASSFUCK YOU!
I dreamed a dream- and now that dream has come true!

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-16-06
I did nothing.

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-16-06
I... sniffffff... murdered again!
Oh, stop crying.
I want absolution!
Oh, I hate to break it to you, but that tummy-tightening cream doesn't actually work.
Are you positive Noel Coward wrote this?
Sssh. The "wrinkle-remover/acne-fighter" scene is coming up!

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-17-06
Great news, Charlie! We got the results back! You are a leper! Oh... wait... that's not great news, is it?
Depends on how much it will damper my necrophiliac orgies.
Well, THAT depends... on whether by "damper" you mean your "penis falls off during intercourse"?
Your a bloody friggin' dumb doctor, you know that?
Doctor?

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-17-06
Are you done masturbating YET?
Just... do the "They were all so fragile." line... once more...
"They were all sooooooo fragile. Sooooooo very fraaaaaagile."
UNNNNNNNNNNNNNGHHHHH!
Man, this is the weirdest fucking relationship I've ever been in!

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-17-06
I have had a terrible day. Work was sooooo boring, man.
Shhh... I'm meditating...
5 miles away...
C'mon, honey, stop freaking out! I mean... it's not like you pee'd down my mom's throat or nothin'.
Uhh...
Did you fart?

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-20-06
"Hide The Salami". It's the newest fad to over-run college campuses. And it seems, if the elated smiles of coeds is proof, that it is the hottest past-time this year---

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-20-06

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-20-06
Whoa! Now that was what I'd call "taking a DUMP!"
--but concerned parents dont find it so amusing. Stay tuned through the break to find out why.

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-24-06
Based on an original concept by biped. Screenplay by ArtemisStrong. The characters "Jeffrey" and "Dad", © biped.
We've GOT to save humanity, Gizeep! YOU have the power!
Oh... yes... but to... facilitate my power, just allow me to hit the light switch for a moment.
Oh... Ohhhhhhhhh.....
SLURP! SLURRRRP! > GORT< !
Jeffrey, where's Cousin Lefty?
I think he's saving the world... one eye-shot at a time!

 

by ArtemisStrong
6-22-06
Years earlier:
I'm going senile.

 

by ArtemisStrong
7-26-06
So, this website, it will be able to tie together all the multi-faceted theories of quantum mechanics, so physicists across the globe can build the formula to unify all science.
Brilliant! Really, a simple, groundbreaking way to get the intelligent minds of Earth to actually work to a common goal! Well, I'm on board! Let's get a drink!
VODKA!
VODKA!
Moments turn into minutes, minutes turn into hours, vodka tonics turn into shots, shots turn into many shots at once, and so...
-n', see? They, err, y'know, wit the comics, yah? Like, you make it.... with an, it'll be shimple. Like three panels, I kin get some clipart, cowboys n shit, the internet morons will eat it up.
I like, yah. Make'm cartoons thing... An, uhm, you could make sets, n', make, uhm comments n' have forums and shit. Less get another, night's still young!

 

by ArtemisStrong
7-31-06
Okay, the chick at the next table's getting pretty sloshed... I bet I could... just sneak... my hand under... her butt... Yes! She doesn't notice a thing!
And so I said to Larry "that dumb bitch is such a dumb bitch!" And he was all "Well, that's your opinion," and, like, I'm like-
-Ahem!- Miss, if you don't mind, it appears you are sitting on my hand. Now, really, I am a man of worldly ways, but this is highly inappropriate! Now if you don't mind-
You'll have to remove your fingers from my asshole before I can get up.

 

by ArtemisStrong
9-28-06
Ooooh yah baby! Stroke that fat cock, I know you love it!
Mmmm... lemme get a bit of lube...
YAAAAAAAUUUUGHHHHH!!!!!!!
Wha! What's wrong!!!
Uggghhhhhhhhhhh... pain... hurts... so much...
"Hand Sanitizer"? Ooops. My bad.

 

by ArtemisStrong
2-27-07
You wanted something, boss?
Me make rancid doodies. Change diaper, I smelly.
That no me question, that me order.
gurgle

 

by ArtemisStrong
4-27-07
I just made some mildly amusing comics online.
I'll go get the chapstick.
Awesom- HEY, wait... Don't you mean Vaseline?
I like Vaseline mouthsex.
Fine, fine...

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-17-07
C'mon, less goback the bar. Nothin'- nothin' here t'see.
No, I need to do this.
Wassthisplace, anyway?
THE NATIONAL MINT!
You need to play pocket pool inna Na'shul Mint?
Did I ever tell you my mother was a 50-year high-yield U.S. Savings Bond?

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-17-07
Well, there's a pretty looking lady, penis--
"--What do you think? Should I talk to her, penis?"
You douche, you're talking to me out loud! She can probably here you!
"-- You better fix this situation and fast!"
Right!... Uhm, excuse me ma'am... Was I just talking to my penis out loud?

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-17-07
So, you like art, eh? I like art.
Yeh, sure, it's okay.
Okay, man, here's your chance, just be cool. Coooooool, okay?-
"-- Just be smooth, now."
I- I think art is a lot like hot sex with women, which I love to have, by the way!

 

by ArtemisStrong
5-17-07
I want to cum in your hair.
What the hell you doin', man ? Did I tell you to say that shit? NO! Now... Biped... Biped?
"Biped, what's going on up there?"
Dyke.

Showing page 7.

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