All comics by Speez

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by Speez
10-31-02
So, your the person who is gonna try to stop End Game. You are too late, there is ten minutes left.
Hey man, I am Uber nice, leave me out of this.
Ha! Your just a spineless wimp! Go hide in the corner and chant prays or something pussy.
Must fight it, I am Uber Nice now.
Ha! This is fun! You know what else sucks? Your mom!
THAT'S IT.

 

by Speez
10-31-02
Ace, not being so Uber nice no more, is going off on FFE, but there is only three minutes left!
I ain't hanging around while Ace rips FFE a new one. It is a scary sight.
ILC, you have to help me!
Dude, there is a clown!
ILC, I am not a clown I am UBCS man.
Your not a happy clown
No I am not.

 

by Speez
10-31-02
Man, I am out of breath.
Well guess what, your time is up and you didn't say "Your mom" enough.
What? I didn't do it!
Nope, and I have the powers of End Game now! Say goodbye to this comic!

 

by Speez
11-12-02
What? We have returned? How? How?
Nice, returnage.
Silly Feetforears, the issue of TV Guide says you only get the power of End Game for a few seconds. Your few seconds are up.
Suckage.

 

by Speez
11-12-02
After trying to not only destory UBCS, but the whole comic, FeetForEars has been banned to the worse place on earth.
This place sucks so much, you rather be dead then be here.
That's right, The Pokemasters message board.
God, kill me now.
Let's all act like up tight pricks and force everyone to stroke my pecker. Oh, did I say pecker, I mean ego.....yeah.

 

by Speez
11-14-02
What the hell...
Hey, I am the new contest winner. That means I am in the comic and there is nothing you can do about it.
Ok, doyou have to be a jackass about it.
Yes, it makes me feel like a big man.
Well, your new and stuff so I won't beat your ass. But act like a jackass around Ace because he won't do anything about it.
Cool, thanks for the advice ugly.

 

by Speez
11-14-02
Are you that pussy, butt licking, nose picking, man love Ace I have been hearing about.
What? Do you know who I am?
I am TAS, who won a chance to be here. You should have you mouth open in awe that I have decided to grace you presence.
No, I think I am gonna kick your ass.
Later, a much bruised up TAS confronts Denza.
I hate you.
I liked the part where he glued your hands to your head.

 

by Speez
11-18-02
There's Denza and I want to ask him how his day was, but I have a feeling I shouldn't. Oh, screw it.
How was your day Denza.
I just saw five midgets spanking a man covered in salad dressing.
Oh, now I remember.
It was finger licking good.

 

by Speez
11-18-02
Hey, it's Lightitup1337, the UBCS newbie.
Dude, Speez, yo, dawg, I have to talk to you, word. Now homie, can you please turn off spam block chief?
God, I have gone over this a million times. Spam block will never, EVER, be turned off.
But you don't understand, yo, waiting the whole minute kills me dawg. I am too stupid to listen to music, talk on AIM, or do something else constuctive at the same time, word to your momma.
Jesus, it's only a minute.
You don't understand homie, I want to make up for the fact that I have small genitals by getting a huge post count at a message board. Yo, word, dawg, homie, yo.

 

by Speez
11-19-02
Oh my god DJ, get away from that machine! It's killing you!
Relax Speez, it's an arcade game called Dance Dance Revolution.
Never heard of it.
It's an arcade game where you have to step on the arrows on the ground at the right time. It's great fun and a good exercise.
Ok, I get that but do you have to play with no pants?
It helps me get better combos.

 

by Speez
11-19-02
Denza stumbles on Speez and DJ playing DDR.
Oh my god, that is the scariest thing I have ever seen.
Must get picture of that out of my head.
Later, Ace stumbles onto them...
Whoa! Extremely white people lost in a hoedown!

 

by Speez
11-19-02
Everyone at UBCS is into DDR, even if they do suck.
Man, I suck at this game.
That's not the only thing you suck.
Misty, you look fine playing DDR. Can we boyfriend and girlfriend again?
Not after you cheating on me.
Then, as soon as it started, it ended.
Oh goody, you guys play DDR too! Oh, happy dance. Happy dance.
I don't want to play anymore.

 

by Speez
11-19-02
Hello...
Anyone...
Can you guys unglue my hands from my face please?

 

by Speez
11-19-02
Hey, who are you?
I am Magikarp01.
Magi...hmm...never heard of you.
Dude, I have been at UBCS forever. I mod four forums.
Doesn't ring a bell. And why are you shorts so short and tight.
To show off my goods.

 

by Speez
11-19-02
Hey GD, what's up.
OH...MY...GOD! Look at his short tight pants!
So...ummm....GD....are you there?
I must look away....but I can't. God help me.
Umm, why are you staring at my goods?
OH GOD, KILL ME NOW!

 

by Speez
11-21-02
It is everyone's worst nightmare.
Oh jesus, I have to take a huge crap.
No, it's not the fact Speez has to go to the bathroom...or the scary fact there is a window into the bathroom.
Man, I fell like I am punishing this toliet.
No, here is the scary part.
Oh god, there is no toliet paper!

 

by Speez
11-21-02
Speez searches frantically for some toliet paper.
My gawd, there is no toliet paper at all.
Maybe there is something under the sink I could use. Tissues, a magizine, a rubber ducky. I don't care, I need something to wipe with.
The nightmare gets worse...
IAN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING UNDER THE SINK!
Would you believe I was doing the happy dance?

 

by Speez
11-21-02
So Ian, what were you doing under the sink while I was in the bathroom?
Umm...I told you. I was doing the happy dance.
Sadly, you seem very happy. How bout you come alittle closer.
Oh yeah, I love it when you talk like that big boy.
A few moments later, a very brown face Ian runs into Ace...
Ian, when I said you were a brown noser, I didn't really mean to stick you head up someone's ass.
You think I would enjoy what just happen to me....but I didn't.

 

by Speez
11-21-02
It is the newbie no one likes, LightItUp1337
DUDE, I JUST GOT THE NEW ROM FOR POKEMON ADVANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This pannel was edited by TheGreatSpeez
Dude, that is illegal...and..um...isn't it all in japanese?
I CAN'T UNDERSTAND A WORD!!!!!!! BUT IT'S THE NEW POKMEON!!!!!!!! THE NEW POKEMON!!!!!!
Please, don't advertise. A mod will edit that out later. Have fun playing your gay game you don't understand.
BUT, BUT, IT'S THE NEW POKEMON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

by Speez
11-21-02
LightitUp1337, I have this program that shows if you came to the UBCS though a search engine, it shows what you put in the search box.
Uh-oh.
You put "Yugiho, Village People, rubber ducky, gay, farm animal porno not including women."
If I act cool, I can pull this out.
It does scary me that typing that got you here, but dude, are you really that messed up?
I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT I DID NOT PUT IN RUBBER DUCKY!

 

by Speez
11-23-02
CP just notices the date...
Oh sweet jesus no!
What's wrong CP?
Today is Novemeber 23, one day after November 22nd.
What's so bad about the 22nd?
CP: A new James Bond movie came out.
I'm Speez...Great Speez.
Hi Speez Great Speez!

 

by Speez
11-23-02
I have gone the whole day without hearing Speez and his stupid James Bond imperssion.
I am almost home free! If I can just make it to my room, I am safe!
I like my chocolate milk shaken, not stirred.
NOOOOOO!

 

by Speez
11-23-02
Speez tries out his experiment that if he is acting like James Bond, he will get any lady.
Hey GD....how you doing?
Ewww, get away from me. You smell like pork.
Ok, it didn't work...
I have the urge to sleep with you for no reason.
Ok, I am the Bond of the new...and scary...century.
Ok, should you bring the dead chicken, or should I?

 

by Speez
11-23-02
Who the deuce are you?
I am CC16, super mod of the Games forum.
Umm, so CC16, what are your intersts?
Hanging at UBCS, talking with friends. I am normal.
My goodness we have a normal at UBCS.
Yep, completly normal....expect for the fact that I have 10 tons of spam that I want to get rid of. Do you want some spam?

 

by Speez
11-23-02
How did you get ten tons of spam?
I dunno. I discovered the Games forum and was in there for like 3 weeks strait. Then i passed out. When I came too I was surround by ten tons of spam.
Anything else?
Yeah, my butt hurt also. I think I somehow crapped out all that spam in my sleep.
Either that, or Ian found you.
Dude, that is not funny...

 

by Speez
11-23-02
Come on Ace. Take some spam. It's free!
I just say no to spam.
Damn, this spam is like a curse.
*laughs* hehe...Spamming curse.

 

by Speez
11-23-02
*sniff* Nobody wants to take my spam.
I guess I will just sit here alone...with my 10 tons of spam....that smells like ass...
I'll take some of that spam.
Oh my god, it's the queen!

 

by Speez
11-23-02
As you know, I am SAN, the Queen of games. Being the queen of games I have to deal with a ton of spam.
It is so beatiful. I know I shouldn't stare at that. I know I should be staring into her eyes.
Umm, CC16, eyes up here at my eyes please.
I hear her telling me not to look down there no more, but I am powerless to do so.
Can you please stop looking down the hall at the Games fourm and look at me when I talk to you.
I drool slightly and the front of my pants seem to have shrunk.

 

by Speez
11-23-02
San, I am gonna come right out and say it. I love you.
And I love you too, but our love can never be because of that talking monkey behind you.
What? A talking monkey?
Get rid of the monkey, and then maybe we can be a couple.
Ok monkey, spill the beans. Why are you here and who sent you.
Hey, Speez added me to the comic because everyone likes talking monkeys, right? Sorry dude if I caused you to lose some tail. How bout a banana instead?

 

by Speez
11-25-02
Talking monkey, your getting in the way of me getting SAN.
But Speez wants me to be in the comic, so deal with it.
Ok, here's one ton of spam. Now I will tell you someone who will want your bananas.
Make it two tons and you got a deal.
I heard you would like my banana.
Only if your "banana" is long and hard.

 

by Speez
11-25-02
Derfor vil Ian, De ha min banan?
Om Deres eneste snakking om Deres penis.
Jeg er ikke den typen av apekatt
Jeg gir godt hode
Bifall, De har en handel.
Woo! Glad dans! Glad dans!

 

by Speez
11-26-02
You get rid of that talking monkey?
Oh, you know it baby.
Come on over here and bring your "spam stick".
Well, you better be ready to send my "spam stick" to "archived threads."
Wait, did you just here a horse?
Greeting Citzens! I am Trojan man!

 

by Speez
11-29-02
Trojan man, what are you doing here?
Well, I saw you two were getting alittle frisky so I decided I should make sure you "wrapped it up."
Umm, cool. Give me the extra large.
Hey, I remember you. You always got the Super Smalls.
Super Smalls?
LIES! ALL LIES I TELL YOU!

 

by Speez
11-29-02
From the UBCS Comic, I wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving.
CP! The turkeys are attacking UBCS because we killed their brother "Morty". I am going to fend them off with a big stick.
I hope you all don't have to fend off killer turkeys with a stick on Thanksgiving.

 

by Speez
11-29-02
Ok, that's it! It's only one day removed from Thanksgiving and we already have a Christmas tree up!
When I was a kid the tree didn't go up till the week before Xmas, but every year Xmas creeps closer and closer to Thanksgiving!
Speez, we put that tree up October 14th!
Jesus!

 

by Speez
11-29-02
NO! THE GAMES FORUM HAS BEEN WIPED CLEAN!
Why would you care? It was just spam?
Just spam! JUST SPAM! I put my blood, sweat and tears into that spam!
Ewww, just tell me you didn't get any other "liquids" in that spam.
...I have no idea what you are talking about.
God, I sometimes go though all that spam too. I think I am going to kill myself now.

 

by Speez
11-30-02
Whoa! My butt is on fire!
Cool!

 

by Speez
11-30-02
OH MY GAWD! IT'S MARIO!
Itsa me! Mario!
Man, you look a lot better in the video game.
Oakie Dokie!

 

by Speez
11-30-02
The doctor says I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger out of there.
Ok Speez, that's it. I have to give you a ticket!
For what?
You copied that quote right off the Simpsons.
FREEDOM!
What did I just say! Here's another one from copying Braveheart!

 

by Speez
12-01-02
Another unholy war begins...
No, you are wrong! Yugiho is the card game of the 21st century!
No dude! Old school magic all the way.
Magic is too complicated for it's own good. For every new edition you have to learn a thousand little changes to the rules.
Just look at the guy on the Yugiho box.
Damn, I can never have a come back to that.
I believe he is even gayer than Ian.

 

by Speez
12-02-02
Wow, it snowed last night at UBCS! Look at all this snow!
I could make a snow fort, or a snow angel, or a snow man!
...or I could make a snow woman to fill the void in my life that should be filled by a girlfriend....

 

by Speez
12-02-02
Hey Denza, what are you doing with a hammer and nails in the middle of the snow?
Well, ever since me and Misty broke up a few months ago there has been a void in my life I need to fill.
Umm, so what are you doing with the hammer and nails?
I am gonna make myself a snow girlfriend!
Mental note. Never talk to Denza again.
Ouch! I missed the snow!

 

by Speez
12-02-02
I have finished making my snow women!
This will the girl of my dreams who will not dump me like Misty did and leave a huge emoational scar.
Hmmm, this doesn't seem right though...

 

by Speez
12-02-02
Hey Speez, how do you like my snow woman?
That's a snow woman?
What, is there something wrong with it?
No, it's just that...how do I explain this...
What, do I need to make the chest bigger?
That's it, I am never talking to Denza again.

 

by Speez
12-02-02
Hey Ian, do you want to meet my new girlfriend, the snow woman?
Sure.
Whoa, Denza was wrong. You aren't a woman. But your kinda cute. Want to go on vacation to Mexico with me.
...what the fudge just happen?

 

by Speez
12-02-02
Speez, you want to hear about my terrible day?
No. You hear me? Pleae, do not start talking again.
First I made a snow woman to be my new girlfriend, but it really was a snow man that ran off to Mexico with Ian, and than the snow man melted in Mexico. I need another girlfriend now.
Dude, you should just try your luck with Misty again.
Or I could dig my own snow tunnel to Mexico and pick up a mexican hooker...
I am getting out of here before I catch the stupid also.

 

by Speez
12-03-02
UBCS is getting into the Christmas spirit.
Really?
I don't see any decerations.
Here you go. It's a tree. You happy.
I have a bigger sack than Santa...

 

by Speez
12-03-02
Meanwhile, at TPM FeetforEars looks on as the UBCSers celebrate Christmas.
Look at those UBCSers.
All so happy that the stupid holiday of Christmas is upon them.
Umm, how can you see UBCS for him? It's very far away.
...I don't know!

 

by Speez
12-03-02
Look at all those UBCSers, with out a care in the world.
And on Xmas they will open their presents and get snozwanger, wing dings, shabados and other such nosense toys.
...wait, what the fudge is a snozwanger?

 

by Speez
12-03-02
Wait, I got it!
On Christmas eve I will sneak into the UBCS and steal all their presents, thus destorying their Christmas.
This plan sounds strangly familar.
I have a strange urge to put antlers on your head...

Showing page 7.

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