All comics by arbi

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by arbi
7-04-05
i registered for the plato community. it's a retro thing - PLATO was like an early internet that i was on back around 1980.
another lost weekend of nothing done.
by "nothing", i mean my slashdot posts are getting modded up. a 3, a 5, buncha 2's.
hi brother. thanks for the email. i'll respond eventually.
this weekend was probably the last chance to do the memo, and i couldn't get started. still can't explain what it's about - trade secret thing.
i made an offer for a friendly takeover of a residential property in kentucky that's in foreclosure. it's the house where gummi bear lives - every thing i am, he taught me.
wednesday i might go work on the barn some more.
i took down one of my comix that was causing controversy - i'm not ready to throw down with a possum. aardvarks and marsupials are natural allies from way back. i put out some borax for the roaches.
they are really on my nerves today. the 4th is hard when you have shellshock. i didn't go downtown for the fireworks, but i'm off now to the club, even tho i have court tomorrow.

 

by arbi
7-04-05
First, create something for yourself. You asked about acting, but this applies to a book, a 'zine, a website, a web-comic, a short film . . . whatever. Don't wait for someone else.
[his hair is blue, his shirt is red]
will wheaton finally did his slashdot interview recently http://interviews.slashdot.org www.wilwheaton.net
i want to thank wil for telling me about stripcreator a couple of years ago.
Go ahead, I'll wait.

 

by arbi
7-05-05
so i'm on my way to court, and i spill coffee on my one clean white shirt. i had a premonition that would happen, a little voice told me coffee first, then dress, but no.
so let's see, what are my choices? the one covered with cat hair.. the one with the big yellow stain... i'll go with this horribly wrinkled one.
i have lots of shirts at my other house, but i can't bring them here because of the roaches
legend has it that there exists a device which removes wrinkles, but i am not personally familar with it.
my best converse, white socks, black jeans, blue tie brooks brothers jacket - i'm ready for battle
for great justice!
actually it's another routine pre-trial conference. we might set a real trial date today.

 

by arbi
7-05-05
food $3.50 books $20 rent $250 deposited $450. yesterday gas $10 drinks $10.
i did most of the things on my daily task list. court, looked up incident reports, went to the bank, mailed the rent check, found out how to file a missing persons report.
i asked the roommate for the rent and he didn't have it, and i still havent kicked him out yet. it's something i need to think about.
i thought of 4 things to add to the list, and forgot them before i wrote them down. i didn't find the parking ticket i want to contest.
one more errand to run today - didn't get it done
i did a few things not on my list - stopped in to see gene, asked for my old job back. he seems interested. i bought some non dairy ice cream at the salvage store + a buncha books for my jfk project

 

by arbi
7-06-05
dannon wasn't dj'ing, rocky was. louis is back and working at metro; he gave me a hug.
today, nothing. income $260. $3 coffee. spent $22 at club last night. i went on a quest to a shop downtown, looking for the origin of "friend of dorothy" no luck.
there was a book by a [web]comic artist i know, a [bisexual lesbian] bi-dyke from quebec. but as a rule i don't spend money, so i didn't buy it. liliane.keenspace.com
www.megatokyo.com #397 - end chapter 3.
you seem cheerful tonight, nanasawa-san. did you get the part?
erica you're terrible
www.imdb.com/name/nm0187701/
last night i went to kareoke. i finally realized the cute dancer from pride day is a guy i've seen many times at kareoke. no wonder he knew the words to "dreamcoat".
it was like where piro figures out nanasawa was the waitress who spilled coffee on him.

 

by arbi
7-06-05
well, now i know what a beef lindstrom is.
"step 7: add in yolks, stir"
i was thinking of building a comic around a recipe for it, but then i found out what's in it. i wasn't expecting anything vegan, but, geez, mutilated cattle cooked in butter and eggs
instant karma's gonna get you. code blue!

 

by arbi
7-07-05
www.megatokyo.com /index.php?strip_id=503 end chapter 4
must.. put down.. megatokyo...
it's past one, and it's a two hour drive plus the different time zone, so i don't think i'll make it to the barn today.
besides, i have to go confront an evil slumlord about her violent tenant. - done, he's evicted.
habitat called and might want to buy my only westside property. it's one of those complex deals where if they can get the other 5 lots they'll buy mine too.
no news yet on the kentucky deal. she met with the bank- ruptcy creditors yesterday. the boyfriend may be keeping the new job and getting a promotion.
i want to start memo three, a defamation case against a tv station. - started.

 

by arbi
7-07-05
this just in: wil wheaton and his monkey were eliminated on the first day of the world series of poker
www.pokerstarsblog.com/ images/wsopd1wil1.jpg
wilwheaton.buzznet.com
this probably would have worked better as a one-panel

 

by arbi
7-08-05
www.megatokyo.com end chapter 5
it's 4 am. i'm not tired. this isn't a good sign as far as getting to work on the barn today. ok, i guess i am tired.
did zero pushups again
my annoying deadbeat roommate has been neglecting his cat, so anytime i go to the kitchen he pounces.
slow news day. worst bombings in london since the blitz. rumours chief justice rehnquist will step down today. serial killers, tornados.
here at home it's like joe's apartment without the singing and comedy.
i did get out of the house briefly, but mostly the same old routine.
slashdot, blogs, pr0n, chat, webcomics, myspace, email, a little openoffice.

 

by arbi
7-08-05
Hates America - Rabid Weasle -8/22/04
I don't like Micheal Moore because he hates America!
He does? That's crazy!
"I been thru the desert" said pink horse with no name, "it felt good to be out of the raaaain...."
la la la, la la la la, la la la la

 

by arbi
7-08-05
www.megatokyo.com/ index.php?strip_id=687
12:07 pm. must.. stop.. reading.. megatokyo.. must reach.. barn.. b4... teh darkness..
> B33rz 4 F33rz <
great teacher largo roxxors mai soxxors
i figure tonight i can hit the clubs in l'ville. oh. maybe i should mapquest first, to find out where i'm going.
5 hours sleep, 3 cups coffee, 6 gallons gas ($32.95), and i'm wearing sunglasses. let's roll.
maybe some pants first. 12:14. that's 1:14 l'ville time.

 

by arbi
7-08-05
Once, before the change, I walked in human form. Some day I hope that story can be told. Perhaps it begins here.
i looked sort of like this. white male, brunette, unshaved, nondescript. wouldn't wear those shorts tho.
Once, before the change, I walked in human form. Some day I hope to tell that story. Perhaps it begins here.
in those days i was skinnier, like this. but lose the beret and sunglasses
12:31 and counting. to be continued.
Once, before the change, I walked in human form. Some day I hope to tell that story. Perhaps it begins here.
this one doesn't work either. too hugh grant-ish.

 

by arbi
7-09-05
$20 gas. $20 at the outlet mall. $35 tow truck. ~250 axle. $5 coffee, bus fare. $20 at the club.
Did you hear the one about the guy who tried to swim the english channel, got half way, worried he would drown, so he swam back?
No, how's it go?
this is the short version, i left out the health food store, DQ, the bowling alley, the video store, the shoe stores, the pint of espresso, the house o'waffle, the mortar and pestle....
Well that's the kind of day i had. Never made it to the barn. Got within 20 miles of home when the axle broke.
i buy underwear about once a year. why does it always have to turn into an epic quest?
It's been a day of trucks and busses and lots and lots of walking. And a couple bars.

 

www.megatokyo.com end chapter 6
i got some sleep. i'm not hung over, but i can feel my body processing the alcohol. they mix the drinks stronger at that first bar i went to. finished megatokyo. it really did take all week.
walking home from the club thru the ghetto, i felt like largo-san among the zombies
by arbi, 7-09-05

 

by arbi
7-09-05
update: this comic won "most political" and "worst speller"! now i gotta update my resume.
OK, let's finish up this interview with a few questions. Do you smoke?
Nope.
Do you drink?
Sometimes.
If appointed, will you overrule Row v. Wade?
Whatever. Er, whatever you say, sir.

 

by arbi
7-11-05
in this next random panel, jon plays hugh grant playing arbi in the movie version. somewhat unlikely.
where the hell did today go? by today i mean yesterday, since it's 4 am. i got up late because of a party the night before, and wasted the day online, but how, where?
well, let's see. you registered at a few comic forums, surfed the links to those japanese culture sites, stopped in at fark,
googled to see how patri was doing in the world series of poker, man i think i'm too tall for your strip [adjusts text] , updated your blogs, caught up on some forums and webcomics,
cobb's blog was surprisingly erudite for a stripcreatorer.
ok, ok, point taken. short version, did nothing.
answered the phone, let my buddy know i'll send him the deed to sign and then send him some money.

 

by arbi
7-12-05
http://www.websnark.com/ archives/2004/09/faq_lexicon_1.html
it's 3 am, and i was reading websnark when i got the idea for a couple of comics, but the ideas got away from me. so this is a placeholder for now.
he's explaining the cerebus syndrome. that's a bit deep for a 3 panel strip so go read the snark.
oh it's not so tough. a cerebus is a strip that starts out as a daily joke, becomes deep and philosophical, then descends into madness.
see the thing is arbi was fuly formed before i even knew cerubus was an aardvark, or anything about the whole aardvarkian liberation movement.
hey, nicely done, you fit the whole "descent into madness thing into 3 panels. short trip i guess.

 

by arbi
7-12-05
the funny thing is, it all started with a comic in the first place.
picture it, 1983, mardi gras. we're on this long drive from boulder to new orleans, and to pass the time cindy made these doodles in her notebook, of a bear.
in those days, spam came in the mail. we used the bears name, gt bear, for the spam to keep it separate.
a bear with a hammer actually. and the other character was stick-cindy
so later that year, when i found a teddy bear in the trash, it took on the personality of the cartoon bear, only more so.
so naturally when i got online in 1990, i used gtbear for my email and chat handle. the aardvark thing came later.
it's for you. it's always for you.

 

by arbi
7-12-05
at the time, i was a dishwasher and she was a hotel maid. the bear told us to go to law school, so we did.
it sez here i have a full ride at mizzou, and all the loans i can eat.
after cindy left me, she worked for legal aid, then a personal injury firm then had a bankruptcy practice. she's back working in hotels again.
gummi bear wants a ferrarri!
the bankruptcy part's coming in really handy lately
I do little bit of internet free speech litigation now and then, but mainly being crazy is a full time job.
neither of us ever really made it as lawyers, but it did get us out of the kitchen.
22 years later, i'm still waiting for the ferrarri

 

by arbi
7-12-05
Back yard before
the health department's been hassling my landlord because we go for the natural look landscaping-wise
Back yard after
so he came up from florida and sent a guy over to cut down the trees and flowers and such.
so now the rent's going to go up. if the rent goes up, i'm less able to afford to kick out my no-good roommate. we hung out and had a nice talk. i'm trying to insist he see a doctor about his bleeding
ulcer. this goes on the list of why i hate the health department.

 

by arbi
7-12-05
http://www.foxnews.com/ story/0,2933,161609,00.html
2 KY meth traffickers rigged up their car so if cops closed in a small rocket with their stash would launch itself from the trunk.
http://www.flexyourrights.org/
that never works
meep meep

 

by arbi
7-12-05
http://news.bbc.co.uk/ 2/hi/south_asia/4677595.stm
Pakistani train explosion kills, scores!
er,
+1, tasteless
Oh, sorry. Pakistani train exposion kills scores.

 

Prince Albert of Monaco assumed the throne today. Well, we assume he assumed. He was in the can when we called.
Hello?
Do you have Prince Albert in a can?
by arbi, 7-12-05

 

by arbi
7-15-05
i can't enter cc289, wordplay - mine aren't funny. besides, can't beat "mandingo ate my baby." so i'll just ramble a bit - havent made a comic in a few days. did nothing today. road trip 2 bloomington
yesterday, road trip to bloomington tomorrow. yesterday we went to the site, and got lost looking for a retreat center for the permaculture workshop.
i hit some of my fave places like the snow lion and "the other bar", but i didn't realize there's an anarchist convention this weekend, so i might go back tomorrow and look for it.
back when i was first checking out indiana i hung out with joe average and the acme co-op anarchist scene. the indianapolis anarchists don't like me.
on the radio coming back i heard that curtis mayfield song that mandingo puns on, a slow bluesy version on a college station
had some good talks with my roommate. he's broke and possibly dying. i showed him where to get free catfood for mario, and tried to talk him into seeing a doctor.
so no punchline today. killed some time online catching up with friends from canada and england. too hot to think about dishes and laundry.

 

by arbi
7-16-05
cc289 a bomb in a bull wordplay
you wanna come back to my corncrib and watch tv?
i dunno, what's on?
it's a pilot about an old cowboy and his three sons on a ranch
what's the ranch called?
Focus!
... where the sons raise meat.

 

by arbi
7-16-05
you wanna come back to my cornCobbcrib and watch tv?
what's on?
it's a pilot about an old cowboy and his three sons on a ranch
what's the ranch called?
Focus!
Don't mind if I do!

 

by arbi
7-16-05
it's a pilot about an old cowboy and his three sons on a ranch
what's the ranch called?
Focus!
...where the sons raise meat.
that's a bomb in a bull.

 

by arbi
7-16-05
man dingo 8 my baby
VIII my

 

by arbi
7-18-05
Choadwarrior meets Prince Albert in a can.
Hey hey hey!
Welcome to monaco. I'm Prince Albert. Here are your free chips.
second time this week...

 

by arbi
7-18-05
________________
_______________
________________
_______________
________________
_______________

 

by arbi
7-19-05
Stay tuned Court fans!
This just in! Bush on TV tonight 9 O'Clock to announce supreme court choice.
Looks like Edith by a nose.
Edith Jones?
Maybe.
Edith Clemons?
Maybe.

 

by arbi
7-19-05
thursday: road trip to bloomington.
friday: nothing. lost a monopoly game.
the big news is the female roommate is coming back. drama ahead!
saturday: road trip to bloomington for an anarchist convergence, joell's party.
sunday: nothing. wrote a blog entry exposing malfeasance by heller in nevada. no that was monday.
plan for wednesday: be ready to rescue roommate if his car breaks down on road trip to pick up other roommate.
monday: made a list. did 4 things on my list, then hit the club.
tuesday: nothing. took out trash.

 

by arbi
7-19-05
A mouse and a duck bring you continuing coverage of legal news.
John Roberts is expected to be Bush's choice when he goes on TV in a half hour.
Roberts is a beltway insider, white-shoe, harvard cum laude, white male, boring.
He's always been a hired gun, so nobody knows where he stands on anything.
Clerked for Rehnquist and judge Friendly.
It could have been worse, but it'll be years before we know if this was a good choice.
He's 50 now, so he'll probably be on the court for the next 75 years, if there's still a court then.

 

by arbi
7-19-05
Hey grammer! I'm so glad you could come on vacation with us.
Aren't you going to come in swimming?
No, I can't get too much sun. I'm just going to pick a few coconuts. I think I need a longer stick, and a burqa
Well I thought so. But you're sure about what the giant squirrels want?
Nuts!!

 

by arbi
7-20-05
this strip features actual mail from possums
obnoxious troll here, somewhere in possumtown. have you met the 12" pianist? aka rosemary's possum. but watch out for fearless vampire possums. and beware of yeti. here's tess with a dramatic reading-
fuck you. how could every gay person be wrong on a part of their culture that they created?
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000591/
the yeti like mammals, but have a taste for women. could i get a martini with an olive, er, twist? i'm dead tired, but doing this comic as a pure formality, on my way to a day at the beach.
At the very least, can you at least delete all of the comics ...? I would appreciate it.
moo.
no, i don't read your comics. that arbitrary ardvark sounds a whole shitload like the "non-sequitur donkey," too.

 

by arbi
7-20-05
billy ray cyrus, somewhere in kentucky
# I heard you just got married. took a monthlong honeymoon. you were all smiles at the wedding. you cried, cuz you were the groom...
# coulda been me, standing there with you, coulda been me, nightmares coming true
speak now, or forever hold your piece
I did.
Me too.

 

by arbi
7-20-05
I saw this googlad on stripcreator. freal.
Draw Comics Like a Pro Become an expert cartoonist in just 12 easy steps. Or your money back.
today's strip sponsored by www.imaginaryfriends.us
so i paypal'ed the $5
step 1: you must surrender to a higher power.
i forgot, i'm already a pro.
$5?

 

by arbi
7-20-05
today, after much angsting and paranoia, my roommate went on this three hour tour to pick up his girlfriend, who, since she got out of jail, has been shacked with her ex, and his wife and their kids
supposedly they left around 8. it's past one now, no sign.
speak of the devil
actually it's pretty quiet. if they never come back, i guess i'll have to do something with the cat. probably they'll walk in any time, and that's the last quiet i'll have for a long time.
*ring* hey it's us we are broke down a mile away...

 

by arbi
7-21-05
I'm trey donawho, and welcome to another exciting episode of "aardvark or notanaardvark"
For 5 points, team A, that is correct, not an ardvark!
moo
stay tuned for our next exciting episode when team B says...
for 12 points team B, is it aardvark or not an aardvark?
moo

 

by arbi
7-21-05
Quack's
give me a long necked bottle. oh and some beer.
make me a shirley temple, black.
but if you tell anyone i'll kill you.

 

by arbi
7-21-05
bring us to warp 14, mr scot
i dinna ken wha the wee antimatterimpellars can handle it, cap'n sir!
I've got to have more scotch, or the ship will implode. 500 cc's stat!
for the dilithium crystals?
to help me think of something.

 

by arbi
7-24-05
105 in denver this week. hot and muggy here. i just lie around, even the internet is boring.
a friend from canada stopped by. we had sushi one night and curry the next, creating a false impression this is a cosmopolitan area.
the only thing cosmopolitan around here is a magazine and a cocktail

 

by arbi
7-24-05
it was 105 in denver this week. hot and muggy here.
how muggy was it?
in fact, my roommates were doing laundry up the street tonight and saw a guy get beat to death by some mexicans with tire irons
this sort of thing helps explain the relative scarcity of punchlines lately

 

by arbi
7-24-05
it was 111 in chicago this week. hot and muggy here.
how muggy was it?
well on friday i was thinking about cutting the grass, until i noticed the lawnmower had been stolen.
clever thieves.. they put the broken lawnmower in the spot where the working one was, so i didn't notice at first.
inside job?

 

by arbi
7-24-05
meanwhile i keep sneezing from a cold,
they say it's the heatwave that's sweeping the nation. it's been hot and muggy here.
how muggy was it?
my teeth hurt,
well, i went to the cubboard to get some orange drink, but the roommates had swiped it. so i put my next to last bottle of walmart soda in the fridge
and it's too hot to sleep. so i took some pills and threw a few cups of insecticide at the roaches
but when i went back for it, it was gone

 

by arbi
7-25-05
few people love lawyer jokes more than lawyers, but we rarely hear new ones. it's mostly the canonical top 40.
#37: professional courtesy
#22: one is a scum-sucking bottom feeder. the other is a fish.

 

by arbi
7-25-05
few people love lawyer jokes more than lawyers. but we rarely hear new ones.
oh i've got one...what's long and black and hangs in front of an asshole?
a stethoscope

 

by arbi
7-25-05
9: what do you call..
9: skeet! 10: the vulture doesn't get frequent flyer miles
14: difference between female lawyer and pit bull?
14: lipstick?
15:
St Peter replied, well according to your hourly billing records, you're 103.

 

by arbi
7-25-05
All lawyers are assholes.
Hey! I resent that!
Oh, sorry, are you a lawyer?
I'm an asshole!
hey johhny long time, whatchu been upto?
i'm practicing law. but don't tell my mom. she thinks i'm still a pimp.

 

by arbi
7-25-05
* variations in background this week are an attempt at something cooler than that curtain. i suppose the hall might have airconditioning.
People have been calling and bugging me to do stuff i sed i would do. i hate that. so i went downtown to city hall to look up the voting records of this zoning thug who sent me a threatening letter.
i have a box of 200 of those letters, but she had called first and i'd warned her not to send the letter.
by the time i found a place to park and got thru the security line and got my keys back, the building was closed. 4:37. aardvarks are nocturnal.
by the time i got back home it was too late to make a phone call i should have made last week.
plan: look something up. get deed ready to print, go to library. buy stamps.

Showing page 7.

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