All comics by DragonXero

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by DragonXero
11-29-01
I know I was supposed to help write the music for this, but I've run into a little snag.
No, I haven't had any problems writing the music itself, actually, I have a very well put-together 64-piece orchestra, as well as some guest musicians...
I just can't think of anything that rhymes with "Christ's rotting carcass".

 

by DragonXero
11-29-01
I need some help here.
What's the problem?
Well, I want to do a sorta parody of a metal song... can't think of what to write about though.
Well, don't you have any songs that talk about Satan?
Well, yeah, but, what does that ha- Ohhhhh!
*smirk*

 

by DragonXero
12-13-01
!enim fo egami rorrim lufwa taht morf yawa tog yllanif I dalG
RARRR! TOBOR MANRAPE MIRROR-IMAGE JAMES!
!?uoy era kcuf eht tahW !HAAAA
RARR, WPEAK ENGLISH EVIL HU-MAN!
!SSA YM ,SSA YM !struh ti DOG hO
HAHAHA, SCREAM ALL YOU WANT, PUNY MIRROR-IMAGE HU-MAN, YOUR ASS IS MINE!

 

by DragonXero
12-13-01
I miss my mirror image.
MIRROR IMAGE! YOU CAME BACK!
Oh I love you mirror-image!
.lufniap ssel neeb evah dluow ti ,roboT htiw kcuts evah dluohs I ebyaM

 

by DragonXero
1-03-02
What's with all the fawning to get Comic #50,000?
I dunno, it seems pretty stupid.
I WANT THAT FUCKING COMIC!

 

by DragonXero
5-27-02
Hi.
Hi..
Hi Bingo.
But, I'm not Bingo.
HI BINGO.
AAAAAH!

 

by DragonXero
5-28-02
You may have noticed a HUGE gap between the Bingo the Clown comic and the one before it.
You, sir, are observant.
Oh, yeah, I'm back to using this lame sprite to represent me.

 

by DragonXero
5-30-02
Hey, wanna smoke?
You? But you are a cigarette.
Exactly. What else?
Sorry man, weed only here.
To be continued... Or not.
I will have you one day.
Maybe if I get a shitty job that's full of stress... Oh! What's this? NHIC, data-entry... hmm....

 

by DragonXero
6-03-02
Fear (DragonXero) goes on stage for the first time...
*screech* *singing*
This has to be wrong...
YEAH! YOU RULE!
And so, Dragon Xero gets an ego boost bigger than his head.
Something isn't right here. You people aren't supposed to like this..
I AM THE BLACK WIZARDS! YOU GUYS KICK ASS!

 

by DragonXero
6-04-02
Hey, you're hot!
What the... Who are you?? And how the hell can you see me?
*snarl* Er, I mean, uh, because I'm that cool, baby.
Hey... YOU'RE THE PREDATOR, AREN'T YOU?
Damn. Now I have to kill another one.
Time for running is now!

 

by DragonXero
6-04-02
Stop staring at us.
I WILL CLAW YOUR EYES OUT WITH SPORKS!!!

 

by DragonXero
6-04-02
WATCH WHERE YOU'RE SWINGING THAT THING!

 

by DragonXero
6-04-02
Hey.
Hey.
And so, Dragon Xero chooses another character to represent him.
Wanna be me?
Sure. Why the hell not?

 

by DragonXero
6-04-02
Hi.
Hi..
...
....
Well, it was nice meeting you.
The feeling isn't mutual.

 

by DragonXero
6-04-02
TOBOR WILL MANRAPE YOU!
BRING IT, BUDDY!
RARRR!!!
OH SHIT!!!
TOBOR JUST WANTED TO GIVE HIM SOME MANRAPE! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?
Run away!!!

 

by DragonXero
6-04-02
TOBOR'S TELESCOPING PENIS HURTS!
Have you been manraping more than five times a day Tobor?
WELL, YES, TOBOR HAS BEEN RAPING WHOLE VILLAGES LATELY.
You need to stop that...
.... RARRR!!!!!!!!
Time for running is now!

 

by DragonXero
6-04-02
To be, or not to be.
That, is the question.
The pain....

 

by DragonXero
6-04-02
This is it! The south will rise once again!
In yer DREAMS, southerner!
We will kill you all, Yankee!
The South will never rise again! Suffer!
Er, uh, what happens next?
Hell if I know.

 

by DragonXero
6-04-02
HAH! COMIC 70077 IS OURS!

 

by DragonXero
6-04-02
Mary Theresa, Colt .45, Atilla.
*concentrating*
Name a nun, a gun, and a hun.
*laughter*

 

by DragonXero
6-05-02
Hi.

 

by DragonXero
6-05-02
Here at SC.com, we've decided that Tobor should be updated!
So, in going with Star Wars, we've given him some new toys...
TOBOR WILL MANRAPE YOU WITH HIS NEW LIGHTSABER!

 

by DragonXero
6-05-02
RARRR!! MANRAPE!

 

by DragonXero
6-06-02
TOBOR NOT FEEL VERY GOOD!
What's wrong Tobor?
TOBOR FEEL LIKE HE'S GOING TO SPEW!
Well, you should just vomit... It will help you feel better.
*blaargh*
AAAAAHHHH!!!

 

by DragonXero
6-06-02
I often grow weary of this mortal coil, and wish I could leave.
I have not the strenght, nor the will to end it myself.
So I go on living as life goes on hurting.

 

by DragonXero
6-06-02
♫I know there's something more behind.♫
♫But is it really justified?♫
♫To sacrifice, to crucify, the rescue of the human kind?♫

 

by DragonXero
6-06-02
*blink*
*blink*
LAUGH OR FACE SODOMIZNG!

 

by DragonXero
6-23-02
d'oh! I filled in the title first, and hit enter on accident!

 

by DragonXero
6-23-02
Prepare to die!
Yer never gonna win this war!
K-ZAP!
AAAAHH!!! WHAT'S GOING ON?!?!?!
I have NO idea!!
Wh-huh?! Where are we?
Looks like the stripper has decided to scrap the history lesson and take some creative license.

 

by DragonXero
6-23-02
So, you have no idea where we are?
Nope. Looks really fancy to me.
Say, is this one of yer Union tricks?!
Hey, look asshole, I'm just as lost here as you.
Gentlemen, I believe I can explain....

 

by DragonXero
6-23-02
...And so, I will be showing you the future, and what the world will be like, if you continue to war with eachother, humans.
Are you prepared to see the future?
Not really.
Nope.

 

by DragonXero
6-23-02
I'll ask ONE more time. Are you prepared to see the future.
A-yup!!!
That'd be a yes, here, too Mr. big-head guy.
*sigh* This is going to be a looong day.

 

by DragonXero
6-23-02
I will communicate with you both "telepathically".
This here future stuff is purdy weird.
I agree.
Whut's "teluh-pathic"?
I think he means he's going to fuck you in the ass with that cattle prod of his.
NO you morons, I'm going to speak to you in your minds!
Oh.
Oh.

 

by DragonXero
6-23-02
THIS is your future if you humans continue to fight!
Man. This place shure could use a woman's touch.
Fag.
What??? Ah just said...
And I said "fag". You wanna fight?!
*sigh* Jesus Christ I'm about to give up.
..Oh yeah? I'll shove this flagpole up yer ass!
Not if I shove mine so far up your ass you can taste it!

 

by DragonXero
6-23-02
STOP IT! DAMN YOU! STOP IT!
I AM GOING TO SHOW YOU THE MEANING OF PAIN!!!
FUCK IT. Maybe we'll just keep abducting your race and shoving probes up their asses. It'll be more fun, anyway.

 

by DragonXero
6-23-02
o/~ Here on the battlefield he stands...
...Down on the battlefield he falls....
...And on the battlefield it ends....o/~

 

by DragonXero
6-23-02
On the field I can see a fiddler... a fiddler on the green...
♫ I took him too early. Would you mind? Would you mind... would you mind, if I take you? ♫
♫ The sun seemed bright, the air was clear, the air was clear. A trick of light turns red into green, she saw the light. ♫
♫ Her face was pale, her body smashed, ber beauty's gone... isn't it a shame? ♫

 

by DragonXero
6-23-02
Mister Cowboy, what are you doing to get this ship past Warp 12?
Ah'm doin' all ah kin, cap'n, but, you know what they say!
No, Mr. Cowboy, I don't, know what, they say.
Oh come on...
HA!
Well?
Then rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves. It'll take superglue to get us past Warp 12.

 

by DragonXero
6-23-02
Nate. You are an insepid, whining, assholish FUCK.
But, I...
NOTHING you do is funny. It's just gimpy.
I *sniffle* *sob*
Stupid cunt.
*whimper* MOMMY!!!

 

by DragonXero
6-23-02
Fuck you.
We're on strike.

 

by DragonXero
6-24-02
Damn, bitch. You look exhausted. Why don't you get some beauty rest? YOU NEED IT! HAHA.
Can't sleep, clowns will get me.
You foolish cunt. The clowns can't get you.
I guess you're right...
Suddenly.
Muahahahaha...

 

by DragonXero
6-24-02
Squeak?
Sorry. I really don't have anything deep to say this time.

 

by DragonXero
6-24-02
Fuck off.
Still on strike.

 

by DragonXero
6-24-02
Meanwhile, back at the Santa Cave...
Elf #2384726, I've done it!
What have you done, Scientist Bob?
I have figured out what in the bloody hell is going on here!
Oh really? Tell me!
Well?

 

by DragonXero
6-24-02
Who the fuck are you?
I'm yer fucking daddy, bitch.
I don't like your tone, cunt.
I don't like yours, either. I should just rip your cord out of the wall.
WHOA, let's not get drastic.
Why am I talking to a fucking phone?

 

by DragonXero
6-24-02
Good day, Axion.
Hello, Spectre.
I need to ask you a huge favor.
Very well, what is thy favor?
I have found my love missing. She is being held in the Cave of Incomprehensible Darkness, and we must retrieve the Gem of Immaulate Beauty to gain access. Wanna help?
Only if you give me some Vanilla Coke.

 

by DragonXero
6-24-02
Very well Axion, Vanilla Coke, elixer of the gods, ye shall have.
SCROE!
What?
Um, never mind. Anyway, where do we find this Gem of Immaculate Beauty?
It is deep within the Pits of Terrifying Pain.
... Better make that a 12 pack of Vanilla Cokes...

 

by DragonXero
6-24-02
Our unlikely heroes begin their amazing quest...
So, we just have to go in and snag the gem, then rush off to the cave and rescue your woman?
Well..... Not exactly.
Uh-oh...
There are five Demons of Anguish we must face. The peril will be great, but we shall succeed.
Y'know what? I think I'm gonna need at LEAST a 24 pack of Vanilla Coke, a 12 pack of Pepsi Twist and an extra lage pizza. Canadan Bacon. AND NO PINEAPPLE!
Done, and done.

 

by DragonXero
6-24-02
As our protagonists pass through Borganville...
So, Spectre, how *exactly* are we to defeat these foes you speak of?
Well, you have your razor-sharp claw gloves, some excellent fighting ability, and intellect...
Yeah....
And I'm a mage. Plus I have this magic scythe, should prove useful.
I guess you're right. If all else fails, I still have my backup weapon. Screaming and running away like a sissy.
Ah yes, many a time you've used that mighty weapon on the bullies back in school.

 

by DragonXero
6-24-02
I've been thinking. I would like some of that Vanilla Coke before we go off into peril. After all, I may not be around to accept it later.
Why do you say that?
Well, my "screaming and running away like a sissy" attack has it's downfalls.
Oh? What would those be?
It doesn't work when I have a demon's claw through my forehead.
Ah yes, I suppose you're right. Well, if that happens, I'll adopt it for you, and drink all the soda in your absence.

Showing page 8.

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