All comics by FactoryRejects

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by FactoryRejects
1-25-15
Aw dang I'll bet this comic is gonna have a joke about deflated balls!
Here it comes. Hoo boy!
................................

 

by FactoryRejects
1-25-15
...are you serious?
BECAUSE IT'S NOT SANITARY! That's why not!
Oh for fuck's sake

 

by FactoryRejects
1-25-15
He's just... not right. There's something off about him.
That's Susan. She dresses like that on purpose.
No, the next cubicle up.
......The guy with horns?
Bingo.
Hm.

 

by FactoryRejects
1-25-15
I heard you were asking about me.
I literally just finished the last conversat-
MAYBE you should be more careful about the things you say, Susan.
....Susan's two cubicles up.
DON'T GET SMART WITH ME

 

by FactoryRejects
2-07-15
A painting of two Tahitian girls by the French artist Paul Gauguin has been sold for $300m (£197m), making it the most expensive work of art ever sold.
Really? Wow!
Yes.
...Do you think that maybe, someda-
No.

 

by FactoryRejects
2-27-15
No.
But I was gonna ask him questions about how the Enterpri-
NO. No. and no. You will not be bothering Leonard. Go to your room.
...I HATE YOU
...Jesus Christ. That kid will be the death of me.

 

by FactoryRejects
9-19-15
Hey man. I found this movie you gotta see.
Yeah?
Yeah. It's got that dude from Straight Outta Compton
..only he's fat for some reason
Awesome

 

by FactoryRejects
11-18-15
YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED FOR THE ROBOT OF THE MONTH CLUB
ROBTS ARE NON-RETURNABLE AND ARE PROGRAMMED TO OBEDIENT
IF ROBOT DOES NOT COMPLY, SEEK SHELTER PROTECTION
!!I am leaking radiation from conduit A4-T.

 

by FactoryRejects
12-10-15
Happy Christmas, Mitchell.
WHAT?! God. Why are you in my bed?
...Happy Christmas, Mitchell.
This is weird.
I don't thi-

 

by FactoryRejects
12-11-15
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZP
WHAT?! Where am-
Happy Christmas, Mitchell! I've got a treat for you. The ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future will be visiting you tonight.
This place is haunted?
No, it's like 'A Christmas Carol'.
There's singing?
It's like 'Scrooged'.

 

by FactoryRejects
12-11-15
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZP
This place feels familiar.
It's your old living room, Mitchell.
Oh, right. The carpet smells like cats.
It smells like piss, Mitchell.
Yeah, that too.
Yeah. Oh! Happy Christmas, by the way. If anyone asks, tell them that was the first thing I said to you.

 

by FactoryRejects
12-11-15
Hey... You're Rabbit Rex.
The one and only.
I always wanted that talking Rabbit Rex stuffed animal when I was a kid.
No kidding.
I bought an old one off of an Amazon seller last week.
Gross. I'd be afraid of getting bedbugs.

 

by FactoryRejects
12-11-15
No, actually the package wasn't opened. It still talks and everything.
Really? God damn. They only made those from 1983-1985.
Yeah.
Huh.
So, do-
Why don't you just move on to the next segment, Mitchell. There's fuck all to learn from the past; you can just buy it online if you missed something.

 

by FactoryRejects
12-11-15
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZP
That noise is the worst part about this.
Mitchell!
Sparky? Are you the Ghost of Christmas Present? I got you for Christmas when I was 5 and you died when I was 7.
I'm the Ghost of -a- Christmas Present.
That's kind of dark.
Yes it is!

 

by FactoryRejects
12-11-15
I don't remember you being able to balance on a ball.
Don't think too hard about it.
It's a little hard to get past.
The ball? ....OR MY DEATH?
The ball.
Oh.

 

by FactoryRejects
12-11-15
I don't see what kind of lesson I'm supposed to learn here.
Yeah, me either. Pets die, right? I'm sure you did all you could.
Probably. I mean, we couldn't afford whatever the vet said so we had to put you to sleep.
...........
I mean, my parents couldn't-
WHAT THE FUCK MITCHELL

 

by FactoryRejects
12-11-15
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZP
Huh?
Can I help you, sir?
My Ghost of Christmas Present hung up on me, I guess.
Maybe you said something to offend him.
Also I don't see what any of this really has to do with Christmas.
Would you like to open a support ticket?

 

by FactoryRejects
12-11-15
So, is this my future?
Yes, sir! RE-CV units are the future!
RE-CV has a cold-core matrix processor capable of maintaining stability even in StrangeQuarkâ„¢ quantum environments!
When you think of the future, think of RE-CV!

 

by FactoryRejects
12-11-15
I don't want to buy a robot.
Really? Wow.
No wonder you're having a shitty Christmas, kid.

 

by FactoryRejects
12-11-15
So, do you have any "Ghost of Christmas Future" type of advice?
Oh! The Ghost! Why didn't you say so? I'll go get him.
What?
Oh god.
Hey, Mitchell! You're early. Did you piss off the dog?

 

by FactoryRejects
12-11-15
So-
Look Mitch, I don't have time for your awkward shit. Walk with me.
Here's the thing about Christmas. You've either got to keep yourself distracted with the usual whirlwind of bullshit, or you'll start dwelling on yourself and how sad you are.
Do you ever get sad at Christmas?
What, me? Hell no. I own a goddamn robot factory, son!

 

by FactoryRejects
12-11-15
So I should buy a robot factory.
Really? That's what you're taking away from this?
I don't-
Have the capital, for one thing.
What?
Nevermind. Look, I have to do my 9 o'clock with Toshiba. I can't keep them waiting. I'll just send you back to the fat man. Tell him I said "Happy Christmas".

 

by FactoryRejects
12-11-15
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZP
Happy Christmas, Santa.
Mitchell? Jesus, that was quick. Most people take at least 80-some minutes to learn a Christmas lesson.
Oh, I didn't really learn anything.
Really? Well, that's a shame. Did you at least grab me a RE-CV while you were in the future?
...No?
WHAT THE FUCK MITCHELL

 

by FactoryRejects
2-27-16
So, who ya votin' for?
I.. what? Is this a political cartoon?
No, I'm just curious.
I don't want to get into it.
Why not?
I just don't.

 

by FactoryRejects
4-17-16
Hello, my most treasured nephew.
I'm not your nephew.
Do you have an ice-base full of the wellsprings of life?
God damn it, Billy. The Colt 45 is in the fridge.
...Works every time.
I hope you get culled for a Star Wars soon. I can't live like this.

 

by FactoryRejects
4-17-16
Did I ever tell you about going out for Thai food with George Lucas?
Trying to watch a show.
10 minutes later
....which wasn't his, either. So there I am, left watching Jack Palance's terrier, while Burton is yelling at me to "hurry it up".
What does this have to do with Thai food with Lucas?
...........................what? Sorry, I got pulled into the show there.

 

by FactoryRejects
6-30-16
...Are you hungry?
Well... I don't know what to do with myself.
Which I'm pretty sure counts as hunger with white people.

 

by FactoryRejects
5-05-17
Okay, now get in there and finish him off.
I don't think I'm doing any damage.
Are you kidding? It's laying down!
I think it's because the bear doesn't consider me a threat.
C'mon man, nut up.
Pretty sure I lost those in the first pass.

 

by FactoryRejects
5-05-17
Whoah, hang on there guy.
Hey... you're not a bear.
And you're not a warrior. Why do you keep attacking me?
Well... that kid out there told me to.
..........You're not going to get very far in this game.

 

by FactoryRejects
5-05-17
Alright, look. How about I heal you up and you go out there and slap some sense into that little bastard? Maybe he'll drop gold or pills or something.
You can do that?
*PPIFFFFT*
Sure can!
Wow!
Great. You might want to clear out; that noise wasn't from the spell. If you catch my drift.
I'd rather not.

 

by FactoryRejects
5-05-17
Hey! What's the deal with trying to get me to kill that magical not-bear?
What? I did no such thing.
I think you did.
Are you sure you weren't actually talking to the Baron of Dukes, eternal scourge of the land of LIFEGAME?
Uh...
Me and him are basically just palette swaps; it's rad.

 

by FactoryRejects
5-05-17
***LIFEGAME IS PAUSED***NEW DLC I
Andor! This LIFEGAME isn't very good. The villain looks just like another NPC.
S AVAILABLE IN THE LIFEGAME STOR
The Baron of Dukes was supposed to be played by Shia LaBeouf but they fell short on their Kickstarter goals.
.........................
E***LIFEPOINTS ARE ON SALE IN THE
...Th-
EARTHLINGS DO NOT UNDERSTAND MONEY, ANDOR

 

by FactoryRejects
5-05-17
Hello. I'm looking for the Baron of Dukes. Apparently he's the villain.
The Baron of Dukes has escaped to The Mauroaneous Lair.
Oh. Alright. Where's that?
It's in the DLC.
Great. Got any more tips?
Lifepoints are on sale in the LIFEGAME store!

 

by FactoryRejects
12-13-17
Merry Christmas, Dad.
This is a lump of coal.
Yep.
.........
Looks like Trump brought back coal after all. It's a Christmas miracle!

 

by FactoryRejects
6-16-18
...So I told him to reverse the polarity!
.....and?

Showing page 8.

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