All comics by FactoryRejects

Profile

 

by FactoryRejects
1-27-08
increase productivity
increase productivity
what's in that thing, anyway?
box cutters. carrying it around makes me look busy.

 

by FactoryRejects
1-27-08
Maybe you shouldn't watch so much TV, Timmy!
There's a big wide world out there! Follow meeeee!
Get in the fucking car, Timmy!

 

by FactoryRejects
1-27-08
meanwhile...
Okay... now remember, Slayne; everyone here can see you, but no one can see me.
Or maybe it's everyone can see me, no one can see you.
Can you see me?

 

by FactoryRejects
1-27-08
purchased and adorned provocatve outerwear
displayed images of self on internet website
NILNAR DESIRES LOVEMAKING

 

by FactoryRejects
1-27-08
Okay kids today we'll be learning about the civil war.
We'll be omitting some facts and events. Quite a lot of them, actually.
You know what, how about we just get out those Crayolas and spend today justifying the art budget. We can trace our hands and make turkeys for Thanksgiving.

 

by FactoryRejects
1-28-08
"...expect a certain amount of quality for a product of this price. Not only that, the persons you have working in your customer service department are unnaceptable..."
"...am a well-educated man and capable of following instructions. Only after confirming literally FIVE times that the correct parts were in place was I connected to an operator concerning refunds..."
"...in conclusion I must say that I am ultimately disappointed and you are easily THE WORST grandfather clock company I have ever had the misfortune of dealing with."

 

ents at $99.99/month - Temple - Call no
Now, I'll bet you're saying to yourself "Bob, I can't own a temple like that on my budget!"
Ha ha. Well if you were, we have exciting news for you! Dont we, bob?
by FactoryRejects, 1-28-08

 

by FactoryRejects
1-29-08
♫♫ Cop for Christmas, cop for Christmas. Oh what a cop for Christmas! ♫♫
♫♫ He's got a badge and he's got a gun, he's got a cruiser for sleighride fun. Whatever you do, you'd better not run! ♫♫
♫♫ Oh what a cop for Christmas! ♫♫

 

by FactoryRejects
1-29-08
-go live now to Mike.... Mike?
I'm here, John. We are LIVE at the scene of the ongoing ninja massacre... John, this... this is just unbelievable, John.
Mike this is John... Have there been any recent developments?
John, hard to say, John... There's been multiple stabbings as well as throwing star injuries-
I saw about two or three of the ninjas
You there, sir... How many ninjas did you see?

 

don't let it get to ya
by FactoryRejects, 1-29-08

 

by FactoryRejects
1-29-08
WAKE UP!
Take the pillow from your head and put a book in it!
It's time for the massive BDP crew at the top of the pile.

 

by FactoryRejects
1-30-08
I'm gonna go see that Hannah Montana movie
Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus
Alright, that's enough.
and I'm gonna sit in the back and touch myself

 

by FactoryRejects
1-30-08
I am an artist like no other; an artist with an amazing gift.
My creations come alive and speak to me.

 

by FactoryRejects
1-30-08
I tell ya, 'merica's the real garden of ee-den. We just had to kill enough of them redskins to show the good Lord to let us back in!
can I get you an apple, honey
what do i look like some kind of goddamn gay to you woman fire the grill up

 

by FactoryRejects
1-31-08
Well, here it is. Printouts of every person who illegally downloaded copyrighted material since 1995.
They're all here?
Just like you asked. Name, IP address, time, and file in question.
Am I in there anywhere?
This entire wing of the complex is you. This room is your soft rock downloads.
How about that!

 

by FactoryRejects
1-31-08
Cigarettes will give you the death!
Yeah I know.
In 1979 Congress-
I KNOW.
...but a recent study showed that-
Why don't you talk about the recent study where two cell phones fully cooked an egg placed between them in like 30 minutes?

 

Santa's been kidnapped, Slayne!
by FactoryRejects, 2-02-08

 

by FactoryRejects
2-02-08
oh WOW you look just like that one dude at the end of DEATHSWORD 6 like right before the boss
only like not as realistic cause you know like nothins better than my PS3 dude
oh man one time Tommy said he could kick my ass at Deathsword and I totally schooled him it was wicked

 

that rug brought the room togettherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
by FactoryRejects, 2-02-08

 

by FactoryRejects
2-04-08
Stop that.
.taht potS

 

by FactoryRejects
2-06-08
to whom it may concern i have a new hard drive and i WILL download the internet
twice

 

by FactoryRejects
2-10-08
AUTHENTIC NARWHAL WHALE TAIL -instructions/istruzioni/instruções/指示-
STEP 1: Authentic Narwhal Whale Tail
Thank You For Your Partonage

 

by FactoryRejects
2-10-08
frankenstein police probe inside the inner ear
gangster computer god controlling the signal
your dog shits in the house on purpose

 

by FactoryRejects
2-11-08
Terry these pills are freakin awesome oh my god
I know man I know
I mean it's like... I mean I can't even...
I know man I know
when did we take them?
sunday

 

by FactoryRejects
2-12-08
I make a lot of jokes here at FactoryRejects; but I'd like to take these three panels to be serious for a change.

 

by FactoryRejects
2-13-08
Hi, we're with Ten Years Younger! Tell us, how old do you think this woman is?
hmm geez.... she's got bad crow's feet, and bags under the eyes. I mean, she looks tired. Also, she's got a big fat ass.
............I'd say probably like 56 or something
but don't take it too hard lady, I'd still totally bang you

 

by FactoryRejects
2-14-08
Hey Mister Gregory
Hello, Reggie
Mister Gregory, where are all the black people?
Damned if I know, Reggie. I had heard there was some kid around named "Afro", but he ended up being a letdown.
Was he mean?
No, he was just a typical fishbelly mashed-potata jive-ass.

 

the creator has the flu and updates will be infrequent util he feels better
of course he blames the government for this, too
by FactoryRejects, 2-19-08

 

by FactoryRejects
2-19-08
So yeah... Today I woke up next to Rachael Ray.
No shit!
Yeah, it was pretty awesome.
What did she do when you woke up?
Nothing; she was on a Ritz box.
Ideal.

 

by FactoryRejects
2-21-08
A winter weather advisory is in full effect
The abnormal cold front has been caused by Jack Frost kidnapping Santa!
We gotta nuke the fuck outta Iran to get him back

 

we are going to occupy vietnam because we believe they now have dinosaurs and are being bastards and not sharing them
by FactoryRejects, 2-21-08

 

by FactoryRejects
2-25-08
new music has been terrible lately
tell me about it
buncha losers failing at being the rolling stones
haha
hell, the stones failed at being the stones
it's true, they suck

 

by FactoryRejects
2-27-08
well, Slayne?
what does it say, Slayne?
EVERYBODY SHUT UP HE'S TRYING TO READ IT

 

by FactoryRejects
3-01-08
I gotta tell ya the stuff today is good but it don't hold a candle to the stuff i had back when
i'll tell ya bob dylan he had somethin to say, they knew how to play back then they knew what they was
so how much do i owe you
you kids today it's all about the damn you just don't understand I'm your brother

 

by FactoryRejects
3-01-08
not impressed
you're too fat to come off as depressing, fat is hella jolly you look jolly
jolly and pregnant

 

by FactoryRejects
3-02-08
you want me to what?
BURN ME I want you to burn me
then just... jump on inside.
this is making me uncomfortable
everyone's doing it

 

by FactoryRejects
3-03-08
Before you move, I have something to confess. I was the one who ran over your cat
and when vandals broke your windshield, I actually did that. and when your aunt sally died; that was me. I strangled her. funny story, it was all over a $10 bet
where are you at
also I stole $10 out of your wallet

 

by FactoryRejects
3-03-08
huh, I didn't know there was a filing room back here
do you know where the labels are, little goat?
you're not supposed to be back here

 

by FactoryRejects
3-05-08
so what you're hungry, you know how to eat, you know where the food is
behind the beer

 

by FactoryRejects
3-05-08
we here at ComicMakrz make a comic for you! whenever you're bored, we will make a comic!
we'll make a comic right now, free of charge
COMIC MADE - STAND-UP COMIC
free of charge comic is demo version only
my name is Jim Bruer. I look high, and I really hope you think that's funny

 

by FactoryRejects
3-06-08
hoooo damn son you ever shot one'a them before
no sir i have not
well shit boy you must have the killin' eye. you plannin on shootin some folks?
yes sir i am
yeaheh me too
i doubt your resolve

 

by FactoryRejects
3-07-08
we here at F.R. would like to salute the protestors that bombed the military recruitment center in New York without hurting anyone
better luck next time

 

by FactoryRejects
3-07-08
I double-checked the particle accellerators, they're good to go
did you freshen my musical selection on my ipod
I grow tired of Jimmy Eat World

 

by FactoryRejects
3-10-08
she looks nice.
i should say something to her. why not, what do i have to lose
hey, do you know what ti-
BREASTS

 

by FactoryRejects
3-10-08
who do you think more kids will pray to this christmas, huh jesus
what is your problem, fat man
i'm the king of fucking christmas, that's my problem
go to hell

 

by FactoryRejects
3-10-08
growin' up in a glass bowl, with chameleons lizards and tadpoles, it hardly enters your mind that there's something better than this
a lettuce leaf and a carrot, maybe a seed from a parrot - believe me when i tell you the word "gourmet" just don't exist
but.... PIZZA POWER...

 

by FactoryRejects
3-11-08
so is this the good shit or the good good shit
SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
i see

 

by FactoryRejects
3-11-08
TIME TUNNEL it's a time tunnel i seen this well read it actually it's not a new idea
but basically we have to go forward because going back would be twice as worse as well i mean i really shouldn't have to explain this it's a fairly well-known theory
didn't you hear me i said it's a TIME TUNNEL

 

by FactoryRejects
3-16-08
why

 

by FactoryRejects
3-16-08
captain's log... the transporter seems to have malfunctioned, sending me to this primitive planet
i have attempted basic communication with a native and have concluded that he is a shopkeep of sorts named "Marlboro Lights"
you want the regulars or the 100s, buddy

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