All comics by areallystupidguy

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so, you're susan's new girlfriend?
you got it.

 

by areallystupidguy
10-01-05
if i am elected host of CC 300, i can guarantee a brilliant subject for the milestone competition!
and the winner is... AREALLYSTUPIDGUY!
alright! you won't regret it!
the next day...
CC 300: make a comic about how undeserving and terrible a host of this milestone competition i truly am.
i hate life.

 

by areallystupidguy
10-29-05
HOLY SHIT! OH MY GOD! THAT PUMPKIN HAS A FACE!
it hasn't been carved yet.
AAGGH! AAIIIGH!

 

by areallystupidguy
10-30-05
why are alligators long and green?
no idea, skull! why?
if they were long and YELLOW, they'd be bananas!
hahaha! wow, excellent!
so when's the baby due?
a month ago.

 

by areallystupidguy
10-30-05
why don't blind people like skydivi-
OH MY GOD! MY WATER JUST BROKE!
false alarm, i just spilled my drink.

 

by areallystupidguy
11-15-05
well, i'm officially going through a breakup.
huh? why?
it turns out he was gay!

 

by areallystupidguy
11-20-05
ICEBERRRRRG!
no, that isn't sexual slang for putting my scrotum in your mouth.
oh.

 

by areallystupidguy
11-25-05
let's see then, for my third wish, i'd like 10 more wishes.
sorry, i can't do that.
alright, fine, how about 100 more wishes?
no man, i seriously can't grant you any more wishes at all. that's the rules.
okay...how about another genie then?
you're seriously missing something here...

 

hey man, what's with the shirt? this IS a nudist colony, you know! take it off!
nah.
why not?
bad hair day.

 

man, you look pissed. what's wrong?
nothing. dude, do you live next to this girl who looks like a barracuda?
actually, yeah. why?
she sounds ugly.

 

what's that you're buying? chocolate covered strawberries?
yeah! they're my girlfriend's favorite!
cool! gonna give them to her on valentines day then, i guess?
no, i'm going to eat them in front of her.
she'll get a kick out of that.

 

okay, i don't get it. usually you're so happy about your work! what's the matter?
*sigh* it's nothing really. it's just that...nobody NEEDS plumbing in this day and age!
what are you talking about? of course they do.
not really, man.
it's all done with computers now.

 

damn... i have the worst sore throat you can possibly imagine.
uh oh! is something going around?
yeah, the sword-swallowing craze.

 

i'm gonna hang up now, i need to stop by my friend's house and see what he's doing.
cool.
your door's locked.

 

so, what did you do yesterday?
i pretended i was a trout and went swimming in the ocean.
trout don't swim in the ocean. they're freshwater fish.
THEN WHY DO I SMELL LIKE I'VE BEEN TO THE BEACH?! HUH? HUH?!

 

uh oh, here comes junkie pete, the biggest drug addict in school.
hang on, he's licking the sidewalk.

 

hi junkie pete. what's up?
not much. played some braille with helen keller yesterday.
helen keller is dead, junkie pete.
THAT IS A LIE! A DIRTY LIE!
braille isn't a sport, junkie pete.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!

 

women are a lot more than asses and boobs, you know.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MAN, THAT IS RICH! THAT IS OUTRIGHT HILARIOUS!
you said 'ass'!

 

me and emily made a reservation for three at big mel's diner, but her boyfriend cancelled on us. wanna come?
why don't you take yours?
my boyfriend's a vegetarian.
BIG MEL DON'T BELIEVE IN VEGETABLES

 

come on, there's got to be SOME vegetables there.
well, i GUESS there's a little...
except big mel calls it 'faggot bait'.

 

jeez, why are you in such a bad mood?
it's that time of the month.
what? but you're a guy.
it isn't mine, it's my girlfriend's.

 

i can't believe that im already 17.
it's shocking how much everything changes when you grow up.
it no longer seems sexy to do it with a 26 year old.

 

wow, why'd you tap your mom's ass?
i was positive it was a secret door.

 

wait, that doesn't make any sense at all.
if you didn't learn to read until after you tapped your mom's ass, then how could you read the letter that said it was a secret door?
wait what did you say? i can't read.

 

ooh! hey there, sexy! do you like dickgirls?
yes.
damn.

 

the eagles fucking blow.
you said it.
i kinda like that one song though.
i guess that other song's okay too. and hey, "take it to the limit" IS classic...
uh...

 

all my life i thought i hated the eagles. then in one night, my world is turned upside down.
just try not to think about it.
clear your thoughts. try to think about anything but the eagles.
impossible. we're in a bar.
oh yeah. no one here ever plays anything else on the jukebox.

 

this is terrible. i've already thought of 11 songs by the eagles that i like.
is one of them "peaceful easy feeling"?
nope, i've never heard it! think i'd like it?
FUCK ME WHAT HAVE I SAID?!
you're beyond help.

 

later, at her house...
okay. now just close your eyes and let the sound of this buzzcocks album wash over you, cleansing and purifying your body of all eaglemania.
oh my god! this sounds like ASS!
it's worse than i thought!

 

how would most personal trainers describe satan's physical state?
i haven't the foggiest, skull!
HELLTHY!
oh skull, you're a consistent canister of commendable comedy!
well thank you, i-
i constantly crave your cunning, charismatic craziness! it continues to cause cacophonus cackles-

 

honey, i have something to tell you that might shock you. is this a good time?
sure, sweetie! let's hear it! you can tell me anything, anytime!
*sigh* well, okay. here it goes. you see, the truth is... i'm a, a bisexual.
wow. really? that really is something. i had no idea. i doubt i would have ever found out if you hadn't told me.
so does this mean you'll start putting out for me now?

 

by areallystupidguy
12-02-06
hallo there raindrop! i have a little joke for you! what can a lizard do that a snake can't?
nothing! a snake can do anything it sets it's mind to!
um... no... STRETCH IT'S LEGS! AHAHAHAHAHA! HA HA HA ha hah... ha...
NOT FUNNY, SKULL! NOT FUNNY AT ALL!

 

by areallystupidguy
12-03-06
are you mad at me?
nope.
are you sure?
yeah, don't worry about it. i'm not mad at all. i love you.
then how come on your webcam you're stabbing a little doll with my name on it?
um...

 

by areallystupidguy
12-22-06
dude, halo has to be the best game of all time. it's just like every other shooter ever except with better graphics.
that reminds me, gears of war kicks ASS.

 

stereotype woman! a whole busload of children is being held hostage by a complete maniac! you gotta do something!
hang on, i'm organizing my vinyl.
yep, it's all here. boston, the eagles, america, rush, chicago, styx, queen, kiss, bread, steely dan, michael bolton, motley crue, foreigner,
fleetwood mac, poison, air supply, dr. hook, bee gees, phil collins, journey, bob seger, indigo girls, coldplay, the doors, kenny g...

 

argh! i'm so pissed! somebody wrote a message in one of the boys bathroom stalls saying that i'm a slut!
that's horrible! who would do such a thing?!
i dunno, but that's not really why i'm mad.
then why are you mad?
because eight other people wrote "i agree" underneath it!

 

wow! you're the biggest snail i've ever seen!
hah! clearly you don't get out much! there are many larger snails, some even larger than twelve of me put together!
so what are you doing in the ladies' room?
installing spycams

 

so, how's the wife?
eh, can't complain.
wait...

 

hey, YOU'RE a girl! maybe YOU can help me!
huh? what do you need?
what's menopause like?

 

principal, im here on behalf of the track team. we demand more funding! we're sick of seeing the football and basketball teams get all the cash!
this is blatant discrimination, and just because we don't toss a ball around isn't any reason to treat us differently!
oh please, enough playing the race card.

 

daddy... what did the doctors say? is mommy... is mommy going to die?
oh son, of course not. mommy's going to be good as new before you know it.
hooray! i'm still gonna have a mommy! this is the happiest moment of my life!
SIKE

 

alright raindrop, let's make this one count! what did the lion say to the watermelon!
you tell me, skull!
quit "LION" to me!
HAHAHAHA
RETIREMENT!!!

 

by areallystupidguy
11-28-07
okay, wait, tell me again. slower this time.
"dad, i've HAD IT with being a man! i've never felt comfortable in this body! i'm having the operation, and there's nothing you can do about it!"
wow. ouch. that's what he said?
That's what SHE said.

 

by areallystupidguy
11-30-07
apology NOT accepted!

 

i br8k up wit j00 lol uber pwn
by areallystupidguy, 11-30-07

 

by areallystupidguy
11-30-07
hey lupus awareness man, what are you asking santa for christmas?
bah! i don't believe in santa claus! it's just a load of hogwash!
really? why not?
it was... 14 years ago...
ho ho ho, what would you like for christmas little boy?
i want a racecar, and i want my loved ones not to get lupus and die, and i want you not to rape me

 

by areallystupidguy
11-30-07
i'm really sorry to hear that. on a lighter note, do you have your christmas tree set up yet? i helped my mommy decorate ours just yesterday!
i hate christmas trees! bah! senseless rubbish through and through!
how? how could anyone hate christmas trees?
it was... 8 years ago...
we stole all your posessions. please accept this "token" of our "gratitude". HAHAHA! sincerely, the christmas tree bandits

 

by areallystupidguy
12-01-07
well then, how about christmas cards? are you sending any to your loved ones?
no way! christmas cards are an abomination! they're everything that's wrong with this country! i hate those nasty things!
i pooped on your mom's shoulder
it was... 7 years ag-
what?

 

by areallystupidguy
12-01-07
hello sir, would you like to donate money to lupus research and sad lupus children this holiday season?
do i LOOK like a fag?
no.
maybe a little.

 

by areallystupidguy
12-01-07
ho ho ho! lupus awareness man, my reindeer have all been poisoned, and i need YOU to pull my sleigh!
eat a dick, santa. i wouldn't help you even if you had lupus.
why not?
you have to ask? you RAPED me, santa! you RAPED me!
big deal. i rape lots of people.
get out of my sight.

Showing page 9.

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