All comics by dylan_99

Profile

 

by dylan_99
10-15-08
Your mother is so fat....
My mother is dead!
It's time's like this when you want the 'RewindTime' watch, lets you rewind time up to 3 hours before you did something stupid!
Now just 3 easy payments of $530.95

 

by dylan_99
10-15-08
Greek 1460 AD
You must capture the Cretan Bull, Slay the Nemean Lion...
And convince daily mail readers that you're getting tough on crime!

 

by dylan_99
10-15-08
Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well informed
and completley wrong at the same time!

 

You've got big breast's for a fairy...how do you fly without those things weighing you down?
by dylan_99, 10-15-08

 

by dylan_99
10-15-08
Blood type joke!
You're a 'type A+'?
But you're personal ad said you where a 'Type AB'
Must have been a'type O'

 

Im an artist...i draw blood!
by dylan_99, 10-15-08

 

I always hit the rim!
by dylan_99, 10-16-08

 

by dylan_99
10-16-08
Well after our plane hit the ocean it must have exploded killing everyone!
Then why are we not dead?
If we're gonna be stuck out here, im not gonna listen to you complain 24/7!

 

by dylan_99
10-17-08
Do you really want to hurt me? Do you really want to make me cry?
What a lovely rendition

 

by dylan_99
10-17-08
Uh dylan, what the hell are you doing?
writting a letter to put in a bottle to send out to sea!
Ok...wheres the bottle?
You have to dash all my hopes don't you? You can never leave well enough alone?

 

by dylan_99
10-17-08
Did you see Dale?
Yeah, he looks like hell!
He'll never get over being rejected by John West.

 

Okay Nano-bots, our primary target is to get rid of all the stressful cells in his bloodstream but also while we're in here i don't see the harm in giving him some man boobs...
by dylan_99, 10-17-08

 

by dylan_99
10-19-08
Excuse me sir? But do you happen to know where the Nanotechnology department?
You just stepped in it!

 

by dylan_99
10-19-08
Sir are you the doctor that gave my dad the sex pills?
Why yes i am, what seems to be the problem?
My mom is dead, my sister is pregnant, my butt hurts
and my dad just sits in the corner all day going 'here, kitty kitty kitty'!

 

by dylan_99
10-19-08
So this is the stupid bird that Blonda keeps talking about? And i never knew she had a bird...
I know more about her than you do!
Im the best bird she's ever had!
Ever hear he scream out 'your' name in bed, pal?

 

by dylan_99
10-19-08
Why does that damn bird think he's the best bird you've ever had?
Well maybe if you paid a little attention to me, he wouldn't have to say that!
In the other room
Only a matter of time now...

 

He finally snapped!
by dylan_99, 10-19-08

 

by dylan_99
10-20-08
Did you hear about the 'England Rugby Squad Hits Losing Streak!'?
Sounds familiar...
Was it anything like the one they hit during the early 80's to the late 90's?

 

by dylan_99
10-21-08
What about 30%? We haven't use that for a while!
I've always had a soft spot for 42!
Clairevoyent Claire thinks 34 is a strong number for this month!

 

IRS
Im sorry Mr. Cat but you caan't count your littler box as deduction just because you do your 'business' in there
by dylan_99, 10-21-08

 

by dylan_99
10-21-08
The city folk just don't understand country life!
Yeah, next they'll try to ban us from sleeping with out sisters!

 

by dylan_99
10-21-08
I feel like this actually happens to me...SadFace!
That Dylan_99 kid is looking for the 4th volume of 'Lament of the Lamb' quick make a total recall so he can't get it!
What should i tell the stores?
I don't know...Make something up!

 

by dylan_99
10-22-08
And she said 'why is a snotty ass rag robot working in upper class?'
and i said 'i dunno, why is a linux based hard drive whore working for iMac?'
its sort of true...
the boss not only likes to f--k hookers but also likes to f--k every hardworking human into buying a iMAC

 

by dylan_99
10-23-08
I had a really good time with you last night!
its a computer virus joke!
Yes, it was pretty good last night, its always good to hear a complament!
I never knew you where so...'Secure'
And i like what you have going on down there, is it a new upgrade?

 

by dylan_99
10-23-08
I just went out side to check on the BBQ and it doesn't have propaine...
would you like me to run out to the store and get some for you?
No thank you, i cook with mustard gas!

 

by dylan_99
10-23-08
So, you've no experience...
no skills and a poor grasp of reality...
Have you considered consulting?

 

What I really miss is being able to blame my broker.
by dylan_99, 10-23-08

 

James bond
I guess its time already for me to screw another chick with a weird name!
by dylan_99, 10-23-08

 

by dylan_99
10-25-08
Thank you.
I will not ask you to perform that manoeuvre again

 

We've decided to stay together in hopes of Harolds Pension.
by dylan_99, 10-25-08

 

by dylan_99
10-25-08
You must be mature, Spacious...
close to local ameneties, semi-detached...
and needs attention!

 

by dylan_99
10-31-08
Hey sorry Kyle, i guess i got caught up with jampants productions i forgot to get you a birthday present!
Thats okay...
You can get it tomorrow!

 

I just read that McCain found out about internet scams, and now he wants to invade Nigeria
by dylan_99, 1-10-09

 

by dylan_99
1-10-09
What seems to be the problem sir?
My computer keeps freezing, dropping offline and closing down on me!
Sounds more like my love life!

 

by dylan_99
1-10-09
Wow, you look lovely, you must never degauss!
Oh, stop...
(^_~)
(*^^*)

 

by dylan_99
1-10-09
You Guys Ready to Rock?!
Not yet Brad's tying his shoe!
Okay Ready!

 

by dylan_99
1-10-09
Hey i heard something about Obama! Since he's become president they're ripping up the rose gardens...
Really? Why?
They're replacing them with Cotten Fields!

 

by dylan_99
1-11-09
Morning Gent's i bet your wondering why i've called this meeting?

 

$250 that Wii cost me and your playing on the f**king computer?!
by dylan_99, 1-13-09

 

The only thing i don't like about playing Solitaire on computers is that you can't look under the cards
by dylan_99, 1-13-09

 

by dylan_99
1-13-09
Okay for this Interview to start i'd like you to describe yourself in a nut shell.
How did i get in a nut shell?

 

I PWN the FOOL!
by dylan_99, 1-13-09

 

This Camp better have a power port!
by dylan_99, 1-13-09

 

by dylan_99
1-13-09
Kid what the hell are you doing out here in the middle of nowhere?
My mommy said i should play out side!

 

by dylan_99
1-15-09
Well curiosity killed the cat!
I thought that the cat had 9 lives?
HEY, lets stop with the cliches before some one gets shot!

 

by dylan_99
1-15-09
Did you see that Blue Man on Oprah?
What was that from drinking Silver Nitrate?
No, i bet he was the one who ate the gum in Wonka's factory!

 

by dylan_99
1-15-09
Do you make good money as a rabbi?
That depends...
circumcision joke
We normally keep the tips!

 

by dylan_99
1-15-09
Do you ever feel like your existance is on the internet?
No, more like paper!

 

by dylan_99
1-16-09
Alright sir, your total is $8.23
Will you accept this?
No thats chocolate money!
OHP, you got me!

 

by dylan_99
1-16-09
Jesus Daniel, i hate this job! Some fat guy walked in today and ordered 1 of everything from the menu!
I don't know how much more i can take!
You know what you should do, you should walk right into your job and just blow your self up with C-4!
Would that solve my problems?
It'd solve mine!

Showing page 9.

« Previous Next »