All comics by israphael

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by israphael
2-04-04
The quality at Stripcreator has been slipping lately. I rarely find anything funny. It's either just incoherent or violent or both.
And the objectification of woman. Most the strips are just a set up for men's juvenile masturbatory fantasies. They show no respect for women at all.
The men don't seem to respect each other either. Look at how many "cornholing" and "fag" jokes there are.
Yeah, too many people going for the easy punchline.
I've said it once before and I'll say it again. Comedy should be a media by which we begin a reasoned discourse on societal ills.
Why don't you just shut up and have steamy, torrid lesbian sex with me.

 

by israphael
2-04-04
You got to see what I just did! I accidently spilled cat DNA into a human cell line and created a hybrid!
That's amazing!
Meow.
They do everything a normal cat does. Lick themselves clean. Chase furry mice. Sleep in the sun. Cough up furballs.
Even weirder is that apparently their psychological makeup makes them perfect members of the Mormon church.
So they wouldn't be opposed to... say... polygamous marriage?

 

by israphael
2-07-04
OK! OK! Quit your pissing and moaning! I'll take a look at it.
Finally!
Some time later.
Damn! That's the worst case of butt rash I've ever seen. It must itch like hell. How did you get it?
Now, that's a funny story.. you see...
Some more time later.
I understand about the poison ivy, the nude nun, and thousand clowns... but explain about the nacroleptic llama again.
First start smearing that stuff all over my ass.

 

by israphael
2-08-04
I call this lab meeting to order. First is a report from the new head of the rumenal fermentation group, Dr. Israphael, on their progress.
Dr. Israphael, we expect you to be prepared for these lab meetings.

 

by israphael
2-08-04
What am I going to do? I can't keep this up.
Israphael's an idiot. But he's an idiot with a heavy work load. I can't keep doing his work and mine.
An what if the department finds out. They frown on killing post-docs... grad students, OK... but not post-docs.
I know, I'll extract his DNA from the remains, clone him, and replace the missing bits with parts laying around the med school.
You just relax. I'll have you fixed up in no time.
I just have one question. I know it's the wrong color and size... But can I keep the penis?

 

by israphael
2-13-04
OH GOD! It's Cthulu! I'm your biggest fan! Can I have your autograph?
QUIET FOOL. I MUST RELAY MY REASONS FOR MANIFESTING MYSELF IN THE MORTAL PLANE.
Oh... OK then.
o/' And I will always love you... o/'
You can stop right there. You are, without a doubt, the worst singer I have ever heard.

 

by israphael
2-14-04
Ken Clarke and Iain Duncan Smith, former media darlings
Y'know, Iain, before yesterday, we were the main news item in the UK.
But now we're nobodies.
When I got engaged to Jennifer Lopez, I thought it would be forever. But she's called a press conference tomorrow to cancel the wedding.
And I was in a sex video with Paris Hilton. Who knew she was such a media whore that she can't keep her thighs shut.
I'll be drowning my sorrows at the post-announcement party.
Actually, there's bad news on that, too. Hee!

 

by israphael
2-16-04
Welcome to the Veggie Bistro. Our specials today are pulverized soy curd with natural wheat germ flavor and soy curd pulverized and flavored with germ of wheat.
What the hell kind of choice is that?
Don't freak out, dude. I can also ask the chef to make his special wheat-germ soy curdlets served pulverized. It's delicious!
You're a freak, boy. You can keep your soy wierdness; I'm going somewhere where they serve food fit to eat!
Later, at a local steak restaurant.
Here we believe in giving you the ultimate in meat eating. We serve the whole cow. MOO! MOO! MUST IGNORE VOICES IN HEAD! MUST NOT KILL CUSTOMERS!
Well if you eat here, it must be good.

 

by israphael
2-16-04
It was a seemingly quiet night to relax with one she loved...she learned the hard way what never to do
You joke around saying somethings living in your stomach, and i want to be the typical cute girlfriend so i will just put my ear to your stomach and listen
Why do girls have to use there cute powers for evil...I warned her and now I'm going to be kept awake all night because she wont sleep
A few hours later (minus the 30mins Zoe spent listening to Leon's stomach in pure horror)
Those noises were not right....your stomach should never sound like that...I thought I could even hear a little voice crying help me.
Go to sleep. Forget what you heard. Remember to believe me next time i tell you something. But dont worry your imagination is just working over time on this.
A few more hours and Zoe is finally able to sleep, with Leon by her side
*Snicker* Those ventriloquism lessons were the best twenty bucks I've ever spent. *Stifled laugh*
There's room for only one monster here! Your belly beast is no match for a man-eating vagina! Now just fall asleep, boy.

 

by israphael
2-17-04
Vanisher and Kain
I like anime
Thats good to hear, but do you fully understand the symbolism and rich japanese history imbedded in some animes?
No, but I really like the not so subtle pedophillic subtext of having the clothes fly off of a prematurely overdeveloped prepubescent girl as she transforms into a "magical girl"
Me too

 

by israphael
2-17-04
Hey baby. Want to come back to my place? I have a penis the size of a walnut.
No you idiot! Your brain is the size of a walnut. Your penis is as big as a telephone pole.
Maybe that's why that chick from MENSA was hitting on me.

 

by israphael
2-20-04
Hey stranger! Where have you been lately?
I started a new job this week.
*Snicker* Who would be fool enough to give you a job? HA HA HA!
HA HA Heh heh he... *cough* *cough* I mean... Congratulations.

 

by israphael
2-20-04
I don't get it. In this comic strip, who am I supposed to be?
You're Sharon, an ex-girlfriend that I'm rooming with now. You're a composite of several women in my life.
OK, I get that part. But why did you choose my character to be "Sharon"?
Of all the women characters, you were the only one with several different facial expressions. You are the only one with enough emotional depth.
Plus, you have a real huge rack.

 

by israphael
2-23-04
Mummy, can I have some pancakes?
We have to wait for Daddy sweetheart. He will be home any minute.
3 Hours Later
Where's Daddy? I want pancakes!
Where the hell is he?
I assure you, my son. It is "Ash Wednesday"... not "Ass Wednesday".
IT SEEMS I HAVE BEEN DOING IT WRONG ALL THESE YEARS.

 

by israphael
2-24-04
Mummy, can I have some pancakes?
We have to wait for Daddy sweetheart. He will be home any minute.
3 Hours Later
Where's Daddy? I want pancakes!
Where the hell is he?
Some Time Later ...
Sorry I'm late, honey.
That's right you judgemental little fucks, I married a woman! So get over it!

 

by israphael
7-11-05
Fantastic! As soon as sit down, Sharon's cat starts staring at me. What do you want?
Why don't you go away? C'mon beat it. Scram!
FOOD LADY! YOUR TALKING MONKEY'S SCREAMING AGAIN!
Get the hell away from me, you little freak! SHARON! YOUR CAT'S STARING AT ME AGAIN!

Showing page 9.

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