All comics by seanator

 

by seanator
1-29-10
One fine day...
Do you think that us being at the top of the food chain has anything to do with our inability to lick our genitals?
Humans have spent the last 2000 years going from mud huts to the moon!
Lions spent the last 2000 years licking thier balls.

 

by seanator
1-30-10
One fine day...
Daddy whats a pedophile?
A man who uses bubbles as cologne.
Daddy a bully is beating me up at school.
Don't worry sweetheart, I'll bet his uncle is molesting him as we speak
Daddy why do some people have lisps?
From sucking cock.

 

by seanator
1-30-10
One fine day...
The worst time to get kidnapped would be on the way to the bathroom.
There you are, stuck in some guys trunk, pissed off and in deep shit.
At least you don't have to go anymore.

 

by seanator
2-02-10
One fine day...
I had such low self esteem in high school, I spent most of my time beating off to girls that were only six..
on a scale from one to ten.

 

by seanator
2-04-10
Fact!
Every day a pacemaker operation is performed incorrectly 291 times.
On Dick Cheney.

 

by seanator
2-04-10
One fine day...
Condoms aren't always the best method of birth control...
Sometimes they break when you are trying to pull them over the baby's head.

 

by seanator
2-09-10
One fine day...
I don't know if you know this, but I work for the CIA
right.
Anyway, my last assignment was to find a leak in the pentagon.
and?
Well I couldn't get to the culprit but I put a bucket under it.

 

by seanator
2-09-10
One fine day...
I occasionally go running but I'm not a big fan of water.
I just run eating a head of lettuce.

 

One fine day...
I filed a complaint because they filed my last complaint.
by seanator, 2-09-10

 

One fine day...
I can pick up a hat at the drop of a hat.
by seanator, 2-09-10

 

by seanator
2-16-10
One fine day...
So they had a big joke festeval for all the funniest jokes in the world.
No pun attended.

 

by seanator
2-20-10
One fine day...
Im fairly certain that "Dat's racist" is more commonly used than "That's racist"
Just axe anyone!

 

by seanator
2-20-10
One fine day...
Michael J Fox's wife can't tell the difference if he's hugging her...
or disciplining her.

 

by seanator
2-22-10
One fine day...
Have you heard of the band Cystic Fibrosis?
No, are they good?
They sound so sick.
Ah, let me guess, they play progressive rock.
No they play out-of-breath metal.

 

by seanator
2-22-10
One fine day...
I used to sleep in a racecar bed, but I've outgrown that level of immaturity.
So now I sleep in a hybrid.
And to tell you the truth, it's done absolutely nothing to cut down on my nocturnal emissions.

 

by seanator
3-04-10
One fine day...
So, a working time machine. When can we fire this baby up?
Right now, the only trouble is, this is a prototype, there's no knowing when you'll end up!
The FUTURE!
Shit sure is amazing in the future man, I've got my own communications bot and everything!
The past is pretty interesting too...
You really don't know how much you take the invention of TP for granted until you have a paper cut on your asshole.

 

by seanator
3-12-10
If I could be a superhero I would be The Sheep. I would only fight people outside because its probably chilly out, and I'd be feelin' fine.
Glad I wore long sleeves.
While I may not be able to shoot webs or jump over buildings, I can pull the wool over your eyes.
It has been brought up that you are a traitor, should I be concerned?
Baah

 

by seanator
3-16-10
One day, my friends and I decided to go on a road trip. After a few days on the road, I could tell that I wasn't wanted.
I just can't wait until we get there.
They made ME drive the whole way
Seperately
Excuse me sir, have you seen a stickman and a lady moose?

 

by seanator
3-17-10
One fine day...
I should really clean up outside, but I am elderly. Good thing I have Life Alert.
AGGHHH! I SHOULDN'T HAVE STARTED TO CLEAN MY POOL! GRGHRGH
We're very sorry. If it makes you feel any better the autopsy shows that she didn't drown. The Life Alert shorted out and electrocuted her into a heart attack.
Thank you Life Alert!

 

by seanator
3-29-10
One fine day...
So BOT, are you getting the new iPad, it comes out this Saturday.
Negative, the iPad is the worst invention since the cigarette umbrella, only a complete ignoramus would buy one.
I see... well I'm getting one.
Ignoramus means "stupid person"

 

by seanator
4-01-10
One fine day...
I can tell by the turkey on your crotch that this is your first gangbang film.
Yeah, I'm new here. It's not too difficult is it?
Of course not, the boss is sort of a douche though, oh crap here he comes!
Working hard or hardly jerking?

 

One fine day...
I wish Hitler had a mullet, that way I wouldn't have to see them anymore.
by seanator, 4-14-10

 

One fine day...
If I had a beer for every time I made a really lame pun, I'd have a stockpile of boos.
by seanator, 4-15-10

 

by seanator
4-29-10
One fine day...
My faggot boyfriend cheated on me, what a shithead!
Oh wow, I'm so sorry. I can relate.
I'm just mad he was too much of a pussy to just leave me first.
I know how that goes. I remember all the anger and betrayal she felt.

 

by seanator
5-24-10
One fine day...
The sex registry is a scary thing to look at, but keep in mind you can be put there if you're caught outside peeing on a bush
and I always thought a bush meant go ahead, its okay, she's legal.

 

by seanator
6-01-10
One fine day...
Let me tell you boy, today I drank myself so much green tea I went outside and harassed nearly 30 mexicans.
You really need to stop drinking Arizona.

 

by seanator
6-06-10
One fine day...
You know what the great Mel Brooks used to say, "Funny is money, wit is shit"
But spaceballs was a steaming pile of wit.
Mel Brooks would've hated that joke.

 

by seanator
6-09-10
One fine day...
Bang! You're dead!
No way, your invisible bullet got lodged in the invisible bible I keep in my pocket.
Ah, but it was a magic invisible bullet
You've just murdered invisible Kennedy.

 

by seanator
7-03-10
One fine day...
Rick, you get all the ladies, what's wrong with me?
Nothing dude! You're a great guy, I'm sure you'll get a hottie!
Yeah, but you get scores of smoking hot women. How?
Easy, just turn into a douche bag. The hotties wait in line for douche bags.
Yeah, but why? Why do I need to become a douche bag just to connect with another human being?
It's hot chicks, they all just have really stinky vaginas.

 

by seanator
7-04-10
One fine day...
Hey Susan! Take a look at my new tabletop invention I made!
Wow that's great! Passing the salt was never easier!
Exactly, it's like a turntable! I'm naming it after you!
What an honor! I'm willing to bet that this is called the "Genius Susan"
Nope, guess again
Well that's not worth it.

 

by seanator
7-20-10
One fine day...
I can't believe you fell asleep during Inception Finkelman!
Does that mean I still technically saw it?
...saw it?
...saw it?

 

by seanator
10-26-10
One fine day...
Earlier this week CEO Richard Branson opened the world's first private space station.
This is probably in retaliation to Chile, who's space program earlier this month transported 33 people to the surface of the Earth.

 

by seanator
11-04-10
One fine day...
Ever since I had my car detailed it's been just like when I first got it.
Yeah it's pretty clean.
No I mean I'm fucking broke.

 

by seanator
11-04-10
One fine day...
A spacecraft survived the closest encounter ever with a comet, tracking it from just 435 miles away.
Scientists are still working to determine if there was any damage to the spacecraft as the comet passed by.
According to NASA Administrator Michael Griffin: "Why is this boring shit in the news? The rock missed the fucking ship by 435 fucking miles."

 

by seanator
11-26-10
One fine day...
Sorry I'm late, I just had to swing by the Holocaustco.
I needed to go to the Dairy of Anne Frank to pick up some Auschwhipped cream.

 

One fine day...
Achey Breaky Heart is the worst possible thing that could ever come from Billy Ray Cyrus!
by seanator, 12-05-10

 

One fine day...
Sir we've invented a rich chocolatey treat, we're calling it a "chocolate truffle"
GREAT! now make sure they melt at room temperature!
by seanator, 12-29-10

 

One fine day...
hmm... Facebook on my brothers new 32 inch flatscreen.... Everyone looked better on my iTouch.
by seanator, 1-10-11

 

One fine day...
Hi, I'm Mark, but my friends all call me 'conversation killer' because last summer at camp my best friend drowned.
by seanator, 1-30-11

 

by seanator
6-20-11
One fine day...
MasterBotter4000, living in the year 2331 sucks. Plastic surgery has been completely perfected.
Isn't that a good thing?
Last night, I went out with someone who turned out to be 83 years old! She didn't look a day over twenty!
I thought I smelled death on her, she even offered me a butterscotch.
But I didn't know for sure until I broke her hip.

 

by seanator
7-05-11
One fine day...
...Tell your mom nobody will save her, yeah that'll make her SAD, Then I'll go back to your house and do the same to your DAD
Yeah you think it's kinda funny, you think its kinda SICK, Well just wait until that dad of yours gets one look at my DICK.
He'll be working up a sweat, then I'll give it a RUB, I'll cum right across his mustache, then he will be in LOVE
Five seconds with me, your dad will be GAY, Then I'll tell him that I like him, but not in that WAY
He'll be so sad, his heart so BROKEN, thinking of me, my body so SMOKIN'!
Too much to think about your dad just SNAPS! He pulls out his dick and he starts to JACK!

 

by seanator
4-04-12
One fine day...
Halt, you are Jaques Moreau! A member of the resistance!
A machine! If I deliver a paradox it will surely short-circuit!
I've just spent my infant son's diaper money on methanphetamine, should I just tell my wife I gambled it away?
...so that wasn't technically a paradox, but I'm going to kill myself anyway.

 

by seanator
12-10-12
One fine day...
Okay class, This is Anatomy, the study of...
Buttholes!
No, that's Proctology.
Does the Pro stand for "prolapsed anus"?
In this class we don't even go into prolapsed anuses
Why, is your mom too tired?

 

by seanator
1-16-13
Facists calling facists facist.
You're Facist!
You're Facist!
Those Republicans are Facist!
Wow, classic Facist Democrats.... fap time, then bed.

 

by seanator
6-04-13
One fine day...
Rise Up! Demand radical change at the cost of your obedience! Don't you know they'll fire you as soon as it's profitable!
Stop saying such things! You'll get in big trouble!
You're under arrest!
What you've just said has implicated you as a suspicious person and possible terrorist!

Showing page 9.

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