All comics by GuyInBoxers

Profile

 

by GuyInBoxers
4-09-07
I'm doing my spanish homework. What is 'stop' in spanish?
I think 'stop' in spanish is...uhh..something...
You are the worst mexican ever.

 

by GuyInBoxers
4-10-07
Yesterday I ordered a capuchino and I was in the bathroom all day at work! I missed a long boring meeting and no one noticed.
Sir, we don't sell capuchinos. We sell crapichinos.
Oh...
1 Venti crapichino please. No cream.

 

by GuyInBoxers
4-16-07
I used to have a pipefitting business.
Business was good!
Then I got married...

 

by GuyInBoxers
4-16-07
Hey! I heard you got dragged along dress shopping!
Ya, it wasn't too bad.
We ended up getting her this great little spegetti strap number. It had a large print, but Stacy and Clint from 'What not to Wear' say it's in style and to go bold!
Wow... uhh you want me to kill you right?
Yes please.

 

by GuyInBoxers
4-26-07
I think the no-carb diet fad has finally died out.
Good thing too! We need to keep the fat people fat.
Right, thats how we know who the fatties really are.
Nothing more deceitful than a skinny fat person.
Thats what I'm sayin!

 

by GuyInBoxers
5-15-07
So my friend scored some tickets to the Indy 500 and he's taking me!
Wow, congrats... Cars driving around in circles. Good times...You need better friends.
Why do you have to make everything I do sound stupid? Can't you just be happy for me?
Yes.
I'm happy you're retarded. Now try not to bite your ear when the cars turn to the left.

 

by GuyInBoxers
5-21-07
Did you have a fun time at the wedding this weekend?
Ya... So it's weird to get drunk and touch your cousin's boobs right?
YES! What the fuck?!
Even if you used your other cousin's hands to do the touching?
You REALLY need to stop drinking.

 

by GuyInBoxers
5-21-07
On a scale of one to ten, how nerdy would I be if I wore a Halo 3 beta tester shirt?
Seven.
Crap. My tolerance was six.
At least it's not a Star Wars Trival Persuit DVD shirt.
Damn thats nerdy! What would that be?
That my friend, goes to eleven.

 

by GuyInBoxers
5-22-07
So I met this hot chick at a bar last night. Should I sent her a text message?
Ya, send her a picture of your ass. Chicks dig that.
I don't have a camera phone...
I like how thats the only thing stopping you.

 

by GuyInBoxers
5-31-07
That was a good concert, I'm still pissed at that one guy who didn't stand during the standing ovation.
Dude, he was in a wheelchair.. he was crippled.
I don't care, that was just rude!
Dude! He couldn't get up!
He didn't even try! Fuck that guy!
God certainly did.

 

by GuyInBoxers
6-01-07
So I tell the guy that there is no way X is greater then the square root of Y when Zsquared is 42!
...
So your brain runs on pure physics. It interprets all kinds of math and is capable of great thinking. Most everything you say is intelligent.
My brain eats corndogs and farts into my mouth...Thats the talking you hear from me.

 

by GuyInBoxers
6-04-07
I'm having a party this weekend. Wanna come?
Who all is going to be there?
My good buddy Jose Quervo for one! He's my best friend. We have great times together!
Ugg! Jose and I don't get along. I want to have a good time and enjoy the party.
Jose wants me to scream until i'm hoarse, punch people in the mouth, shit myself, and paint the room in puke. FUCK that guy!
BUDDY!

 

by GuyInBoxers
6-05-07
There's this girl in my class... she's so hot!
Want some of that do ya?
I can't control myself... I want to strip her down naked and just pee all over her! Just drench her!
Dude! Gross!
No, it's cool, I'd put a tarp down first.
uhhhh....

 

by GuyInBoxers
6-05-07
Hey I heard you got a puppy!
Yep. Yesterday from the store.
Cool! What's his name?
Stew.
Like Stewart?
No, stew as in we're having puppy stew for dinner.

 

by GuyInBoxers
6-05-07
Why is there a dictionary laying in the road in front of your house?
Thats the word on the street.
Ok, I'll bite. Why?
Street cred my friend, steet cred.

 

by GuyInBoxers
6-22-07
So I joined a softball leauge to meet chicks.
That's a good idea! What's your strategy?
I'm going to drill line drives at the girls I want to meet.
What?! What will that accomplish?!
Simple! It tells me that the ones that jump out of the way can't take a punch!

 

by GuyInBoxers
6-22-07
Beating women is strangly funny...
And therapeutic.
And aerobic.
And sexy....
Meet you at Weight watchers?
Race you there!

 

by GuyInBoxers
6-25-07
How come rapper's sing about how they're gunna party like a rock star?
What?
You know... party like a rock star...have a great time with bitches and drugs...party hard. How come rappers can't party like a rapper.
How the hell should I know?
Well... cause you're bla...
FUCK YOU!

 

by GuyInBoxers
7-25-07
Ready to go out and hit the bars tonight?
Hells yes! Daughters lock up your mothers!
Uhh.. Don't you mean mothers lock up your daughters?
No... I had it right.
We're going MILF hunting tonight.

 

by GuyInBoxers
9-11-07
Wow! What a great day! I'm going to call some friends and plan a picnic so we can enjoy this wonderful day together!
What are you going to do on this fabulous day?
I believe I will shit myself.
You're not invited to the picnic.
You sure? You should really try my gooey brownies!

 

by GuyInBoxers
9-14-07
Office of Pet Adoption
So thanks for coming in today! What makes you qualified to be a dog owner?
I like to beat the shit out of my dogs.
Office of Pet Adoption
Is that it?
No. I also like to beat the shit out of other people's dogs.
Office of Pet Adoption
Are you going to get my new dog?

 

by GuyInBoxers
9-27-07
Ya? What do you want?
This bag of food you just gave me isn't what I ordered!
Damn it! Whats wrong with you?
What?! How is it my fault you gave me the wrong order?
You're right. It's not your fault at all. One moment I'll go get your spit burger...
I can't win.

 

by GuyInBoxers
9-28-07
My good friend bacon is coming over for lunch!
You mean you want some bacon? Oh I love bacon! How bout one of my famous BLTs?
No, thats not what I...
You'll love my em! Tons of bacon! BLT stands for Bacon, Le Bacon and The Bacon!
Hey where are you going?
I need to have a word with you...

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