All comics by Skin

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by Skin
7-24-06
What if you couldn't take it anymore?
What if you couldn't imagine going through another day?
If you're going by the kitchen, I could use some more nails.
What if I don't give a shit?

 

by Skin
7-24-06
101010101010100101...
...0101010101100101-
Oh, is this the one where it turns out the guy's actually eating a fetus?

 

by Skin
7-25-06
*HAVE* *A* *GOOD* *DAY* *MASTER*
'Bye, Chore-Bot.
*PREPARE* *FOR* *MATING* *UPON* *RETURN*
*CHORE-BOT* *HAS* *BEEN* *A* *DIRTY* *KITTEN*
Damn anniversary sneaks up on me every year...

 

by Skin
7-27-06
Hey buddy! Who's a good kitty?
You touch me and you're pulling back a bloody stump.
Hey! Where's the love?
Now I don't know if you're being playful or being an asshole.
Yep, sounds like a tuffy.

 

by Skin
7-28-06
We marched for days across that desolate landscape. I knew that at the end of our journey my death awaited, and my bones would join those of the rest of my crew in uneasy rest far from home.
Appeals to the mercy of my tireless captor would go unheeded. The single baleful eye from which gazed out a vast alien intellect reflected not a glimmer of pity, nor of hope.
Man truly is but an insect beating its wings in an infinite night. Streaks of fire and matter may seem to mark our way through the darkness, but the vast spinning rocks shelter only madness and pain.
Wanna play 'I Spy'?

 

by Skin
8-09-06
...and I don't care how many science fairs you win, Jared, if I hear about you swearing again, I will smack your mouth, mister.
Sounds real good. Hey, while you were talking, I took the house into orbit.
Wanna go ahead and set us back down, champ?
Wanna go ahead and raise my fucking allowance, Dwight?

 

by Skin
8-11-06
We seem to have arrived sometime in the early 21st century.
Sir, I'm reading extremely low levels of thick bitches on our lumps.
Unacceptable. Fuck the whole place down as soon as I finish this sentence.
Bumpity POW!
Oh man, being from the future is so awesome I can't even TAKE it.
When to next?

 

by Skin
9-18-06
Oh man, being dead must be awesome.
There is no peace in death. No light.
Endless, abysmal cold is the only truth waiting for you beyond your warm little years.
Did you try putting on a jacket?
I tried putting on a jacket.

 

by Skin
10-11-06
Cthulhu fhtagn, Cthulhu fhtagn!
Sounds like someone's playing your song.
Oh dear.
Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
You think it's another nerd? Seems like we've been getting a lot of nerds.
Meerkat Manor is on in like ten minutes.
CTHULHU FHTAGN!CTHULHU FHTAGN!
You want me to Tivo it?
Would you? You're such a gem.

 

by Skin
10-30-06
Hm, another sunset dream... I wonder what it means?
*PREPARE* *FOR* *UNSPEAKABLE* *VIOLATIONS*
Now you're talking. Where do we start?
*YOU* *SHALL* *CRITIQUE* *MY* *HALF-ASSED* *HAIKU*
God, I hate my brain.
autumn leaves tumble...

 

by Skin
11-05-06
Well doc, what do the test results say?
Mr. Johnson, I'm afraid you have a rather serious case of double pneumonia.
I... My God... Wait, there's DOUBLE pneumonia?
We also find you at high risk of Supercancer.

 

by Skin
11-20-06
You got some change?
You got a story?
You got to be kidding.
You got about five seconds to start talking.
You got some nerve.
You got that right.

 

by Skin
12-08-06
Wednesday, 10:13am.
Damn. I've got an amputee here who wanted to run the Boston Marathon.
Ooh, tricky.
I mean, I can have him win the thing in his wheelchair, but it would look like the fix is in.
Absolutely. Try compensating in another area. 'Bout two years back, I had a coma victim win the lotto. It wasn't perfect, but at least his kids went to college.
So.... X-ray vision?
Humans aren't cleared for hypersense, Tom. I know you got that reminder email. Just set him up for triple-orgasms and a case review in three years.

 

by Skin
1-09-07
My bird can see years ahead. It teases me with information.
Your only child will be abducted and abused on her half-birthday.
How can I save her?
It hates its little jail, and me, its little jailor.
You will try to hold on to your wife, but you will lose her to her grief.
How can I console her?
My bird can see years ahead.
You will kill yourself in your empty house.
Ooh, how many bedrooms?

 

by Skin
4-21-07
Vee vill found zee sousand-year reich, such zat zee world vill tremble- wait, vas is das noise?
HERR HITLER! I am here from the future. I have seen what has come to pass. Your attempt at glory will bring you and countless millions nothing but heartache and death.
Mein Gott! I cannot believe... wait, American?
You will walk away from the chancellorship of Germany NOW.
...und vat can you offer me in return, little future-soldat?
Um, I have a late-model tan civic that you can use when I'm not using it. Also my roomate makes awesome hot chocolate.

 

by Skin
2-07-08
Mark, baby, I know this isn't easy, but I feel strange... almost like I can't trust you.
I don't... I can't understand... Janie, please don't leave...
I thought this might be difficult for you, but maybe you can talk to...
Mr. Handpuppy!
Oh thank god. Mr. H, you've gotta cover for me, I think my girlfriend knows I screwed her sister.

 

by Skin
2-29-08
I can't decide which is worse, Chet; your taste in restaurants or your erectile dysfunction.
Well Lydia, I'm gonna have to go with my taste in women.
I'm going to go see if there are any MEN in this place.
If you find one, don't forget to catalog his faults in your blog.
Will uh... is sir ready to order?
Yes, I'll have the London Broil, medium rare, new potatoes on the side, and a pistol loaded with two hollow-point rounds.

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