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| Last year I crashed down a gorge in my father's brandnew car. It was totally ruined of course. | |
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| I accidentally fried my aunt's cat when it hid in the oven. | |
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| I got expelled from school when I set fire on our science teacher. | |
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| I was so drunk at Uncle Mortimer's funeral that I stripped naked and started singing Marilyn Manson songs. | |
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| I hope next year will be just as great. | |
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