All comics by Affenficker

Profile

 

by Affenficker
8-11-02
Ohrm, Ohrm, A-WakaJaka-WakaJaka
Ohrm, Ohrm, A-WakaJaka-WakaJaka
Bong.
32 bars later...
......................................Box of Chickens?

 

by Affenficker
8-11-02
And the Bitch actually had the Chutzpah to use Kant's categorical imperative...
...to equate Plum Sauce with Slavery. I mean!
Bukyasin!
You can see the Danger (MOUSE).
I'm sorry, so this isn't the Rocky Horror Show, then?

 

by Affenficker
8-11-02
I can't believe you! You come into my house, eat my Haourms...
Textiles.
What are Haourms?
You know that's not the point. Typical!
Vladimir Propp.

 

by Affenficker
8-11-02
No, really.
Vorsprung Durch Tech...
PHAAL!

 

by Affenficker
8-11-02
Pull up!
Tighten up!
(That's Soup, not So Up).
Soup!

 

by Affenficker
8-11-02
Bubble Bubble.
[Stirrup ripping Feedback tones]
[Further, similarly Stirrup ripping Feedback tones]
You make me feel like a natural woman.

 

by Affenficker
8-11-02
Yes,
Are you really Philip Glass?
Yes,
To some extent, yes.
Quite.
I loved your collaboration with the DJs of the Low Countries.
Tous le Monde est gangant, Bebe.

 

by Affenficker
8-11-02
{This bar intentionally left blank}
;
Are you Old?
Yes.

 

by Affenficker
8-11-02
I can't stand it, I know you planned it.
muh muh muh muh muh muh muh muh muh muh muh
Gin
Tonic
There is hidden depth to my work.

 

by Affenficker
8-11-02
Afrikaaner night at the bar is notoriously slow.
Ach, man, 'tis lecker to pony the Slovos, ek say.
Yirre Yirre, Bliksem Bliksem.
Fat and Lecker Jollers both.
Yickle, Stickle. Fat Graze man.
(She said the Jukebox was free, but that you have to pay)
Ach!
Don't think much of the Waitress, though.

 

by Affenficker
8-11-02
PUMP!
PUMP!
PUMP!
PUMP!
PUMP!
PUMP!
PUMP!
PUMP!
PUMP!

 

by Affenficker
8-11-02
Bismillah! What is zis?
Tiki masks are so passé: she gloves you Yeah, Yeah Yeah
I'd like a menu, please.
Spike Jonze is obviously on holiday.
Do you like Tantric sex, and what about my Bun? Ziggy played Zither.
James.
As is Ho Chi Minh.
Bling, and dare I add, Bling.
Brown.

 

by Affenficker
8-12-02
Looka yonder! On the gathering storm comes a tall, handsome man...
I'd just like to respond to the spurious and unfounded allegations that I am doin' it in direct opposition to The Kidz.
They can only originate from the offices of The Whore of Bablyon herself.
I enjoy feeding back, sometimes.
Furthermore, I would like to add...
PHAAL!

 

by Affenficker
8-12-02
The sheep are less menacing, despite their noirish lighting.
Open the door, you spawn of the Devil's own strumpet!
Les jeux sont fait.
Bon.
That do ya?
Treaurpc.

 

by Affenficker
8-12-02
In the Jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight.
And so our story starts, in a sleepy little town called...
PHAAL!

 

by Affenficker
8-12-02
Intifada.
So I says to him, right, "You can't do that, it's Hoummus!"
Having said that though, don't you feel that Fidel Castro...
I was working in my lab, late last night..
(Damn.)
PHAAL!
PHAAL!

 

by Affenficker
8-12-02
..in order that she might die!
WITH SUBTITLES FOR THE HEARING IMPAIRED
I. Philip Glass, command from you a higher standard of Parmesan.

 

by Affenficker
8-12-02
Excuse me, but aren't you legendary minimalist composer...
Philip Glass? Yes, for the most part I am.
One Meta turn deserves another...
I was placed on the Bass Clarinet on my college production of Satygraha, you know...
Good stuff. I also know and admire your work as an Affenficker Perennial, especially...
PHAAL!

 

by Affenficker
8-12-02
Good thing we were able to nip that spontaneous combustion lark in the bud, eh, mostly the legendary Mr. Philip Glass?
Yes, escaping to France was a canny move, my diaphragm-equipped friend.
I Love you guys too much to really get rid of y'all...
PHA...
Good one.
Only joking.
Do you guys know Michael Nyman?

 

by Affenficker
8-12-02
Dodge City, Sundown.
So, you think you're mostly Philip Glass then, Hombre? I'm nearly 78% Philip Glass myself, Mr. so-called mostly Philip Glass.
l haven't been the best part of Philip Glass for 5 years to let some punk dis' me like that.
Eerie, rattling Morricone Music.
Show me what you got.
Draw...
I feel my work has progressed far beyond minimalism, in that...
PHAAL!

 

by Affenficker
8-12-02
I REALLY REALLY enjoy the music of Steve Reich.
Mmmm, I prefer LaMonte Young.
Almost completely the legendary, overlooked by sharkmen, Mr. Philip Glass!
Don't make me Phaal yo' ass, fish-bitch!
Phoney Baloney ones, at that.
I, for one, have learned my lesson.
Boobies.

 

by Affenficker
8-12-02
Shaourm,
Haourm,
Feedback is good, but not as good as Philip Glass
Laourm,
Are any of you Cold?
Maourm.
Fuckin' A!

 

by Affenficker
8-13-02
Wanna hear something cool?
Sure, hit me.
Come on then, I haven't got all...
You thought he was going to bellow "PHAAL!", didn't you. For shame!
Sorry, I was miles away for a second, there.
...day.

 

by Affenficker
8-15-02
let'S rocK!
What a wicked game to play...
Keith?
No, my name is Cecil, but I am played by the same actor.
Its...wonderful.

 

by Affenficker
8-22-02
"Milky"
Mmm, Milky.
Swiss Milky.

 

by Affenficker
8-22-02
And so, Brian Eno, betrayed by a kiss from Robert Fripp, is Crucified at Golgotha.
Meanwhile, on high, David Lynch and Philip Glass argue over which of them should have his soul...
PHA...PHA...PHA...PHA...PHA...PHA...
PHA...PHA...PHA...PHA...PHA..PHA...
SILENCE PHOOLS! ENO'S SOUL CANNOT BE PROFANED BY HE BASENESS OF "PHAAL INTERRUPTION"!
Truly he was the son of Frodd.
Hot Chorizo baby, and lots of it!

 

by Affenficker
8-27-02
Outside Manzil, 2:30 AM.
I am Kevin Wilson, missing evolutionary link between humanity and the Beach Boys, come to reclaim my rightful place!
When humantity took that trancendental leap, and became the melodic Skillz of the brothers Wilson, it did so through me!
So you want royalties, then?
No, I was just hoping for some sand to live in.
Fetch some water, Mordechai.

 

by Affenficker
8-30-02
I grudgingly concur with your assertion, Punk/World Music crossover artist Jah Wobble.
Then it is to be..
PUMP!
Thatt's much better.
Mmm, yes,
...Skyanga...Skyanga...Skyanga...Skyanga.
Ripple, Ripple.

 

by Affenficker
8-30-02
Simon and Garfunkel,
Powell and Pressburger,
Grease!

 

by Affenficker
9-13-02
Non, de rien, de rien
In search of Eldorado?
Guopf!
Non, je ne regrette rien.
In search of Loughborough?
Guopf!
Mais Henri...
Ah, Guopf!
Too late.

 

by Affenficker
9-13-02
(The Chrabanc is parked around the corner.
Thank you for agreeing to see me, Mr. Lynch. I really appreciate it.
Not at all, Marcus. I am sorry abot the Guopf incident, but you do understand what you did wrong, don't you?
I think so.
Now, let's try it again.
Trundle Sloe Analogy- Gilded Crossbeam Arsenic. Stop me and buy one...
Praise be!

 

by Affenficker
9-20-02
Mr. Lynch, although all powerful, is also benevolent...
M. Night Shyamalan- I allow thee to continue manipulating audiences with thy contrived twist endings
...but they were lesbians!
Spread the word to Joel Schumacher and Chris Columbus.
...but they were lesbians!

 

by Affenficker
9-20-02
Marcus?
Yes, M. Night Shyamalan?
...oh, nothing.
alan?
Actually...
Shut the fuck up! You're just going to provide some stupid twist, aren't you? Take your hypre-constructed mmmplots elsewhere. I've got guopf on my mind!

 

by Affenficker
9-20-02
The life and times of Father Alloysius "Conservative Al" Yankovic.
Weird brother- thou wast always favoured in our eccerntric parents' eyes!
We are all sinners. Grow bag. Genubergrupogroinmongers united. When will I ever moisturise my lettuce. Concrete!
Suddenly, "Conservative Al" meets Philip Glass...
I want to make love to you.
I cannot agree, but I will not furtherspice your predicament.

 

by Affenficker
10-02-02
Resitance (Voltage\Current) is futile.
Hi Kev PUMP! how are PUMP! you doing? PUMP!
I'm PUMP! fine.
Not even technology can save you, you'd have to transcend even divinity...
PUMP! [Feedback] PUMP! [Further feedback] PUMP!
My quest PUMP! for PUMP! a small sandy PUMP! PUMP! area is going quite PUMP! PUMP! PUMP! PUMP! well.
PUMP!
PUMP! PUMP! PUMP!
PUMP! PUMP!

 

by Affenficker
3-03-04
One-Two, One-Two, and through and through...
Spandler, you flavour my comeback with much-needed perspective
It's a privilege to work with you, Mr Glass
Please, let's not make this about anything but...
You love it.
MAMBO!!!!!
I must repress my basest guffaws

 

by Affenficker
8-09-04
Malpaso, Texas. December 31st 1899. 11:59 pm. The church bell sounds the coming of the 20th century...
I stand on the cusp of a new era, just a-bellowin' into the void...
...That's why I'm easy...
...oid...oid...
The bells you hear are nought but my own godless gamelan, apt to ensnare young cowpokes into premature participation in the future...
...I'm easy like Sunday Morning...
Suture?
It's good to be alive... in 1985.

 

by Affenficker
8-14-04
Theatre- The Glass Menagerie (1945), by Tennessee Williams
Bark!
Miaow!
Monkey!
Dolphin!

 

by Affenficker
4-04-06
Features
Jeff Banks
Creatures
Shabba Ranks
J'...
Faeces
Sherpa Angst
OUST!

 

by Affenficker
4-04-06
Cyclopean
So, you're a fictional character, then...
Yes, it all started when Howard Lovecraft decided to...
Non-Euclidean
Let me stop you there, you silly, silly man.
What?
Crispian Mills- Dark Satanic Crispian Mills F'tagn
Vo-de-o-do!
[Silence]

 

by Affenficker
4-04-06
Philip Glass deals with the issues of our times...
Old Person...
Yes, English?
Philip Glass eels with the issues of our times...
...are you old?
Philip Glass...FACE FACE FACE~easycook rice~~~~~~~~~~~
You've got to stroll around and BE really old.

Showing page 1.