All comics by AkaiSenshi

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by AkaiSenshi
4-14-04
Go left three steps...
Stop...
Can I get nailed now?
Little did Hammer-Happy Johnny know that his buddy really wanted him to see a hooker for his birthday.
Not like that, you idiot!

 

by AkaiSenshi
4-14-04
Anime Club, 7 PM
Dude...how come we never get any dates?
Dunno. We know waaay more about the physics of Gundam than the next guy!
AND I have every single episode of Love Hina AND Sailor Moon on DVD! PLUS a shrine to Char Azanable!
But there, in the background, they hear the sounds of every single girl in the anime club screaming..."GRAVITAAATION"!!
...There is but only one hope.
Yeah...Wanna make out??

 

by AkaiSenshi
4-15-04
A normal suburban neighborhood, 9 PM.
Yeah, we came for the orgy?
Where is everybody? HELL-O??
Rather empty around here...don't even hear any moaning...
And so the punk-ass married couple leaves. However, the action is far from over.
Hey! Welcome to my orgy! Wanna pet my pussy?
If you want to know what OTHER rings I'm wearing...

 

by AkaiSenshi
4-15-04
Anime Club, YET AGAIN
You know what'd be cool?
What?
If, you know, sex really happened like it does in hentai?
EWW! I'm going back to my poorly characterized yaoi, thanks!
Not 30 seconds later...
I am a tentacle monster! I anm currently feeding off of your female friend's orifices! MUHUHAHAHA!
Duuude. Awesome!

 

by AkaiSenshi
4-15-04
THE RELIGIOUS STARING CONTEST FACE-OFF!!
Great, more Western influence.
My God is superior to that...philosophy stuff.
GLARE
GLARE
????
Fine, fine. You win. Jesus says, "Om mani padme hum".

 

by AkaiSenshi
4-16-04
Herro. We cute Asian girl.
*tee hee*
We gentle like lotus brossoms!
Yes, and we sucky-sucky big white cock for five dollar!
Five seconds later...
...This is humiliating. Why do I always have to play a sterotype? I'm calling my AGENT!
Agreed. I was Ophelia in the Royal Shakepspeare Company's production of HAMLET!... HAMLET, people!!!

 

by AkaiSenshi
4-16-04
Umm...is this thing on?
O-kaaay...So they lied to me about Wells.
First off, I thought I was going to stay a "girl", but NOOO...I had to go tranny on their separatist asses!
...And now people look at me like I'm from Mars or something just because I don't respond to "young lady"...plus let's not forget about all the discrimination I've been through while at "Tolerance U."
So now I say..."I'm graduating, UP YOURS!"
I'm the weapon of mass distruction Akai made...Aren't I purty?

 

by AkaiSenshi
4-18-04
At the Robot Laugh Shack...
11010010001000....
1100011111000101!!
HAHAHAHA!!!
Unfortunately, Liz was the only human in the joint...and so, chaos ensued.
I don't get it.
HOW can you NOT GET a PENIS JOKE???

 

by AkaiSenshi
4-18-04
Chad and Stephanie are talking over IM.
Hey..how are you doing...I'm fine...
I'm doing pretty good...How about you...?
Then a realization hits...
I...really think...we need to stop using IM...when we're sitting across from each other...
Yep, gotcha.

 

by AkaiSenshi
4-25-04
In the Happy Magic Place..
I want to know if you can help me. I'm too damn ugly and I want to die.
Of course, sonny!!!
The High Wizard says his magic spell to make the Freak less ugly...
ALA-KAZAAAM! KAZOO!
...and it sort of backfires.
Hey good lookin', how's about me and you do somethin' with yo' big ole magic wand?
God, PLEASE turn her back into that Freak thing...This spell's NOT REVERSIBLE!

 

by AkaiSenshi
3-17-05
Mr. Beatnik decides to go around for gay marriage support.
Yo, you wanna get married?
Fuck off, communist hippie! Marriage is between a man and a woman!
Maybe I can marry you...
Bury me? But I'm not dead yet!
And yet Mr. Beatnik, who wanted some cock, wasn't as tolerant as he thought he was...
I'll marry you! It's legal 'cause I have a vagina!
Screw off! I don't like trannies!

 

by AkaiSenshi
3-19-05
We join our boys in the age old sub vs. dub debate...
You know, dubs suck ass. The actors can't even act!
Mm-hmm.
And Jesus, who the hell wants to hear a JAPANESE cartoon speak English! I don't want to hear anyone speak English!
...
Little did our gentlemen know that they had a catch-22 on their hands...
I guess because we suck.
Well, then, what are WE doing speaking English, dumbass?

 

by AkaiSenshi
3-19-05
At the Coliseum...
HAII-YA!
In the audience...
C'mon! Take off your tops! Take off your tops! I came here for twin karate oil wrestling, dammit!
Boy, is this guy an idiot.

 

by AkaiSenshi
3-19-05
At the psychiatrist's office...
You know what, Doc? Every time I see you, you look like a pink donkey.
Mm-hmm...
..That could be caused by a variety of factors, including shizophrenia, medication imbalances..
Oh, what the hell, I just yanked 5 kilos of weed from out of your pocket. If you stop, you'll be cured!
Ah, man...you SUCK!

 

by AkaiSenshi
3-21-05
...
AHHH! I am the BOOGEYMAN!
So what?
I'm not an eight-year-old, I'm really a 32-year-old convicted serial killer!
..Oh shit.

 

by AkaiSenshi
3-21-05
It's time for Happy BDSM Fun Hour, starring Mr. Makeshift Nipple Clamp and his good buddy, Spanky!
Hello there, boys and girls!
Today we're going to teach you how to make someone your bitch-erm, SLAVE!
Yes!
However, Mr. Makeshift Nipple Clamp's instructions are hard to follow...
GET DOWN ON OUR KNEES AND SUCK MY DICK OR ELSE I PINCH YOU TO DEATH!
WTF? You don't HAVE a dick!

 

by AkaiSenshi
3-23-05
Hello there...as President of the Galaxy, I have just signed a bill into law that defines marriage as only between one man and one woman throughout the galaxy.
...
...
However, Mr. Bush should not have told the happy females of the Amazon Planet that...
...
You have ravaged our culture with your law, for that you shall DIE!

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