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| Back in my day Christmas was the day when we were sent out into the woods at night all alone to "find our presents". | |
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| After we'd been mauled by various forest creatures, we would be forced to eat our socks and burlap underwear just to stay alive... | |
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| And we'd be lost until Spring, having lived off pinecones and our own feces, emcrusted in filth and blood... | |
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