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| I got this friend who swears he saw Bigfoot. We got drunk one night and I made him take me to where he saw it. | |
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| When he went to take a piss, I started screaming like I was being ripped apart as I donned my ape costume. | |
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| Then I jumped out of the shadows and DESTROYED HIS ASS. To this day he won't go into the woods... | |
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