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| I speak to you now from the beautiful and bountiful farmland of Boliveraland, filled as far as the eye can see with lush coca plantations! | |
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| I know I made a lot of campaign promises and let me assure you, I will follow through on none of them. | |
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| On the brighter side though, I am by nature, a gentle man. Therefore mandatory torture will be reduced to every second Tuesday. Thank you! | |
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