All comics by AntimatterSwirl

Profile

 

by AntimatterSwirl
12-17-01
Good morning, 005. We need to expose a Russian spy. Your mission: memorize the Moscow phone book. This VCR will self-destruct in 5 seconds.
No it won't. I'm an entropy-dampening field at 1 Kelvin.
Suburban Moscow, 9:54 PM
Take a good look, Valentina. I'm a copy of the newly expanded Kama Sutra open to page 978.
HONEY! Get over here. I want to do "two fireflies, a lemon juicer, and a box of plumb bobs."
Oh yes! YES! YES!
They'll be distracted and tangled up that way for weeks. Plenty of time for me to learn this crazy language.

 

by AntimatterSwirl
12-18-01
***************************** In space
no one can hear you scream

 

by AntimatterSwirl
1-07-02
Officer, I tell you this house is haunted. Two nights ago the twins saw supernatural creatures here.
That is like so horribly correct.
We saw ghosts and witches and spectres right in our living room.
And then I snuck down out of bed and saw a walking skeleton.
We thought we were moving into a nice neighborhood. You will do something, won't you? You do believe us, don't you?
I'll write up this report, and we'll see what we can do. Let's see, today is November 2nd, isn't it?

 

by AntimatterSwirl
1-14-02
Sucky sucky, five dollah!
Sorry, we no take American Express. got Visa?
RAAAAAPPPPEEEEE!

 

by AntimatterSwirl
1-14-02
Halt, who goes there?
My name is Mortimer McAndrew.
Is it really?
No, actually it's Samantha Zimmerman.
Is it really?
No, actually I am the Comic Nazi. *end comic*

 

by AntimatterSwirl
1-14-02
Look, Spankling, we get to sit for wirthling's baby all afternoon.
Look at him suck that bottle. Spitting image of his daddy!
We can do so many fun things to him, dress him up, velcro him to the ceiling, play Barney videos backwards while he watches ...
What the fuck are you talking about?

 

by AntimatterSwirl
1-29-02
Here at Good Good Good Good Vibrations ...
Hello, my vibrator won't work.
Try flipping the batteries the other way ... (she's obviously blonde.)
Our Technical Support staff is so sensitive to the needs of our customers ...
I'm failing to achieve multiple orgasms.
(Clearly an Aries.)
They can tell a lot about them just from the call.
I keep chipping my teeth.
Okay, what part of Arkansas are you calling from?

 

by AntimatterSwirl
4-17-02
Pull!
*whoosh*
ET ride bike through sky.
BANG!!!!!

 

by AntimatterSwirl
4-17-02
What the heck? A little graffiti won't hurt before I join the others.
HERE I SIT, FEELING NETTLED
PREPARED AN 80-PAGE BRIEF, BUT THE BASTARD SETT...

 

by AntimatterSwirl
1-24-03
6-iron.
Driver.
Putter.
3-wood.
Umbrella.
Pitching wedge.

 

by AntimatterSwirl
2-07-03
Wheat bran, corn bran... must have brannnns!
Corn starch ... I think you used too much.
MALTODEXTRIN GUARRRRR GUM!!!
Calcium carbonate, Caramel and Anna to extract color. Oops, that should be Annato Extract Color.
Cellulose gum, and yes, I did bring enough for everyone.
Salt, Baking Soda, Aspartame, which comes from the ... HEY!

 

by AntimatterSwirl
7-13-03
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hee hee hee stop that ha ha ha ha
hee hee hee no really ha ha ha you're hee hee killing me, I tell you ha ha
moh.

 

by AntimatterSwirl
3-09-04
So I said, "C = Co*sqrt(N)nad(2-d)/(Mt(1+a))."
Ha, ha.
What the fuck are you talking about?

 

by AntimatterSwirl
10-26-04
... and I divide the comic rectangle into three panels so that it can become a comic strip. How about you?
I guess I follow you on the assembly line. I take each panel and fill it with white, then pass it on to the asian girl installer.
You blank out the panels? I'd love to see that.
No problema. I'll just clear this one here...

 

by AntimatterSwirl
6-23-05
o/` Don't look back but he's next in line. He's The Guy After
He's The
Guy After!
The Guy After!

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