All comics by Appleart

Profile

 

by Appleart
8-18-03
HELLO
Don't talk to me!
why have I done something wrong?
Yes
What
You were born

 

by Appleart
8-18-03
peace chic
What do you want?
What makes you think I want something?
Your here
I love you sis
I'm not falling for it!

 

by Appleart
8-18-03
The End is near
How do you know?
Can't you see the destruction?
No!
I'ts all around, look
Isn't this your bedroom?

 

by Appleart
8-21-03
no ones looking so I'll just make a quick long distance call
now's my chance for that long distance call
God did that I just know it!
ring ring

 

by Appleart
8-23-03
Got any mouthwash?
No.
Got any gum?
No.
Get some!

 

by Appleart
8-23-03
Free at last, Free at last, Free at last!!!!
oh who am I kiddin...

 

by Appleart
8-23-03
I was thinkin about going to church, but I'm afraid the roof will cave in
Pisssssst.... this is God, hold off til they raise the money for the new building

 

by Appleart
8-23-03
Dog is his name, spoil the party is his game!
I give life in general a high five!
Optimism is over rated.

 

by Appleart
8-23-03
What do you get when you cross a midget, a giant, and a pervert?
I don't know.
A Governor

 

by Appleart
8-24-03
My dad says your a bum and worthless!
He's right I am a bum
But worthless, thats where he's wrong.
?
I make somewhere in the neighbor of $30 grand a year panhandling... lower middle class maybe but worthless, I don't think so!

 

by Appleart
8-24-03
It's some kinda hot down here!!!
Even with the cold front.
I guess some guy got the chic he wanted... cause hell froze over !

 

by Appleart
8-25-03
Hello young man.
Thats close enough buddy!
You know, not all of us are bad.
How do I know the good from the bad?
God--- Open 24 hrs, including Christmas and Easter!!!!!
Talk to God my son.
I did and he said he don't know you!

 

by Appleart
8-27-03
Hey kid you got $20 bucks?
20 bucks thats un-real, no ones going to give you $20 bucks!
Your right, how bout $50?
Are you a dumb bum or something?
$100 ?

 

by Appleart
8-27-03
Look what Dog is up to now!
Oh thats great, they had to leave that mirror right next to me.
Can you believe him?
This is bird abuse.
Shut up!

 

by Appleart
8-28-03
Special Report
This just in... there has been a man nailed to a cross in Israel!
Yes it has been confirmed, he was nailed to a cross...it's not clear but someone said he was innocent.
Film at eleven.
4 terrorist groups have claimed responsibility!

 

by Appleart
8-28-03
Seven Eleven
Whistle while you work!
Help ! Help ! It's a suicide whistler
Whistle while you work!
Take them shoes off Habeeb!
Oh thank heven it's Seven Eleven!
Can I help you sir?
Would it be considered profiling if I bought all your box cutters?

 

by Appleart
8-29-03
Bedford's trying to make his house payment.
Even bums have slow days.
Here's my chance.
Got a buck?
I wonder if I can write this off ?
Thanks buddy.

 

by Appleart
8-31-03
Dogs his name negative is his game.
This is the best sandwich I ever had !
Do you see a food bowl in here pal?
No.
My point exactly !
Slight oversight !
A week ?... that's a dumptruck of an oversight, fat breath !

 

by Appleart
8-31-03
Put your hands togather for the Cow Comedian !
Thank youuuuuu... What do you call 2 cows running away?... Cow-ards ! Thank youuuu.
What do you call 3 Cows surfing ?... Utter-ly board... Thank youuuu.
Lets here it for the Cow Comedian !!!
What do you call a cow out of gas ?... hoofin it...Thank youuuu. Good night !!

 

by Appleart
8-31-03
Puts your hands togather for The Cow Comedian !
Thank youuuu... What do you do if 10 cows are commin after you?... go the utter way. Thank youuu.
What do you call it when a cow skins his butt?... rawhide! Thank youuuuu.
Lets here it for The Cow Comedian.
Whats a cow doing math ?... cowculator... Thank youuuu. Atlanta!

 

by Appleart
8-31-03
Put your hands together for The Cow Comedian.
Thank youuuuuu. What do you do if a cow wants your seat ?... you mooooove over. Thank youuuuu.
What does a cow get when he works overtime?... time and a calf. Thank youuuuu.
Lets here it for The Cow Comedian.
What do you call a male calf ?... a cowboy. Thank youuuuu Macon!!!!

 

by Appleart
9-01-03
Put your hsnds together for The Cow Comedian.
Thank youuuuu. what kind of motorcycles do cows ride ?... Cow-asaki... Thank youuuuu.
What dose a cow do when it's afraid?... Cow-er Thank youuuuu.
Lets here it for The Cow Comedian.
Where do calfs go on Friday night ?... To the moooovies Thank youuuu. Charlotte.

 

by Appleart
9-03-03
Put your hands together for The Cow Comedian.
Thank youuuuuu...What do you get with a cow in politics?... better then what we got... Thank youuuu.
If a cow ran the country what would we have?... more chicken... Thank youuu.
Lets here it for The Cow Comedian.
A cow would make a good president because... were good with the bull... Thank youuu D.C.

 

by Appleart
9-06-03
Put your hands together for The Cow Comedian.
Thank youuuuu. What do you call a cow assisting old ladies across the street?... Hamburger helper... Thank youuuu.
What do you call a Irish calf?... A cow- patty... Thank youuuuu.
Lets here it for The Cow Comedian.
What do you call 2 Italian cows gettin thier picture taken? A double whopper with cheese...Thank youuuuu N.Y.

 

by Appleart
9-06-03
Dogs' on a cruise ship.
Hey Dummy, jump overboard !
My names Darbie, and I don't fancy water.
I need a bath so get out there and start some splashing.
How bout if I just drop you and that little shark cage of yours, in there?
On second thought maybe alittle drool will do the trick.

 

by Appleart
9-06-03
$5.00 to see the wise old goat.
Old wise goat how do I get wisdom?
You must eat sugar cereal my son.
Thats stupid!
It's true grasshopper.
I deserve my money back!
No No... You got wiser and I got richer!

 

by Appleart
9-07-03
Bedford's on a working vacation in D.C.
Peace man... are you here for the million hippie march?
aaa... yea that's why I'm here... peace groovy far-out...
Cool man I love old hippies.
Yea, I'm a old broke hippie can you spare a coin or two?
What did you say, smoke a joint or two?... sure man... I got use to bringing an extra joint or two from when Clinton was here... You do inhale right?
What ever... try rollin those babies up in a couple of twenties. and I'll be a happy hippie!

 

by Appleart
9-09-03
Gag me with a butt
Auh... gross, someone put a cigarette butt in my beer!
Not me.
Did you put a cigarette in my beer?
Nope.
You?
You caught me, I just love to do that... this little guy hasn't noticed his yet

 

by Appleart
9-09-03
Dog has done it again.
Have you seen my keys, Dog?
You mean the ones with the red keychain I swallowed?
Why would you do something like that?
Because I want attention... I want to be stroked and kissed and most of all I want to poop on that stupid grey suit.
Well... I'm not going to let you do that.
Well...Thats the only way your getting your keys!!

 

by Appleart
9-11-03
Dog's a dog.
Hello Bird.
Hello dweeb.
I'm not a dweeb, My friend.
And I'm not a friend my dweeb
You sure are a sarcastic canary.
Just call me S.C.

 

by Appleart
9-12-03
I refuse to be part of a comic strip, you can't make me!
This is Mr Appleart, you either work or your fired!
I'm on strike.
I'm out of here I quit!
Somebody call the scabs we got work to do.

 

by Appleart
9-17-03
Where WAS... I last night?
Where were you?
Oh where was I last night?
You heard me, where were you?
Are you wondering where I was last night?
Are you reading a script or something?

 

by Appleart
9-17-03
So where were you yesterday?
I got lost on the way here.
Like I'm suppose to believe that?
You mean you don't believe me hun?
That's my story and I'm Stickin to it.
You live here...Daaaaa!
Maybe I had a brief case of... AmLeaveYa?

 

by Appleart
9-17-03
So what's your excuse today Dad, why didn't you pick me up
I was there young lady.
Dad your drunk... and you weren't there, because I had to call mom to get me.
Oh is it Monday?... I was working.
That's my story and I'm stickin to it, sorta.
Wrong again cuz, you don't have a job.
Listen young lady I'm your father and if I say I wasn't there, then I wasn't there.

 

by Appleart
9-18-03
I am sick and tired of listening to your excuses....Now, the true please, are you seeing someone else?
I see people all day long, Pat
You know what I'm talking about, a woman, are you seeing another woman?
Technicalily, Pat I see women all day too.
That's my story and I'm stickin to it, sorta
What's her name?
Define name.

 

by Appleart
9-23-03
Dog has met his match, NOT!!!!
oooooooowwww,ooooooooowwwww
Stop it Billy!... I know it's you... I don't do dark well bud... BILLYEEEEEEE
Are you gonna stop poopin on my hand when I change your water?
Ok... It's not all that much fun anyway, cuz you don't screem like a scalded monkey like you use too.

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