All comics by Apprehensile

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by Apprehensile
12-08-03
Sometimes thinking is bad for you.
Oh...well, I just fell in, that's all.
Ya know, I still think you've got more to live for than I do, or maybe I'm just an imbecile who needs a good spanking.
Please, stop trying.
This feels... not right.
Nope...; you're still winning...hey, what's that.---Irrelevant
Failure; once again
Hi, I'm right here stupid!
Where's that stick guy?

 

by Apprehensile
12-08-03
Well, he spoke TO her.
What's up?
Yeah, maybe.
O...K...
Sometimes I smell; it's usually after I did something that made me feel like I was alive for a reason, and my hair looks better dirty.
clues are lost
What's up?
Didn't you just ask that?

 

by Apprehensile
12-08-03
So, she WAS smiling. and you decided to watch the old man across the street get out of his car. interesting
I love this special friend place!
Yes, he is.
This is FROM or FOR her?--I might like you but you're not sure could you come over my house we could eat food and sit down. We can pretend to like each other for a minute.
I forget.
lost again
Some things are better left. Get it?
Where?!

 

by Apprehensile
12-08-03
Sometimes when I act stupid, I can avoid stuff I don't want to be a part of. Like you can "not know how" or "forget".
Sometimes when you act stupid... you look stupid.
systems
Maybe you should send me an official-looking letter commanding me to approach, speak, and proceed. Then my nervous system might cooperate.
Maybe I should just tell her to hold a candy bar. Then your digestive system might cooperate.
hmmm
Yeah, but if I swing from a tree and the lid falls off, will the gnomes get tired?
Well, I'd say Florida, because oatmeal isn't loud enough.

 

by Apprehensile
12-08-03
The second mission...
OK, she looked at me, then I turned away, but turned back right away, then she looked again but I DIDN'T turn away, then she turned away, but I didn't , then I did, and she looked back, then I
...looked at her, and she was still looking at me for a second 'til she turned. I yelled, "Ha, you lost!", but someone dropped a plate so no one heard it. Then I looked again and she was looking. Then
...she might have waved, but someone walked through my line of sight, so she could have been moving her napkin to trick me. Should I wave next time?
I think you should LOOK at her, THEN wave.

 

by Apprehensile
12-08-03
The first mission...
You're sure you're not insane?
If I could get her yearbook from that guy who went to her high school, then sit next to her in class, SHE would start the conversation for me.
right (sarcasm)
But she's a human; therein lies your problem.
Then I could refer to her activities and art classes. Then I could mention mine, then I could tell her about my 3-D drawing and ask her if she can see magic eyes. Then ask her to see it in my room.
The first mission...
I'm just more comfortable here, that's all.
We'll pretend we need him for our gme, then have our yearbooks, then ask for his!

 

by Apprehensile
12-08-03
the 1st mission (2)
He doesn't HAVE his yearbook. What is that?!
Well, my only normal stance comes with a hammer.
I'll bring my Magic Eye book to class and MAKE her see it. I'll sit next to her. Then I'll mention my picture.
yeah. (ok, didn't get the CIA job, rejected from Dartmouth, what the heck; it's a FISH!)
OK, I'll follow her back to her dorm, 'cause it's my dorm! haha! I'll ask her if she wants to see that picture.
and she'll say yes?

 

by Apprehensile
12-09-03
When strangers pretend to know you
I was gonna change my clothes today, but the other characters suck. Why do robots and girls get all the expression options?
Hi, Paul!
Sorry, we've no use for you here.
I know; I figure, at least I'll always have a hammer when I need it, and sometimes I'll just act like I have new mail. Do you need anything repaired, besides your psychokinetic pathways.
Let's go to the mall and laugh at people for being there.
Hey, what can I do? He's the one with skin.

 

by Apprehensile
12-09-03
"We sell dogs." You got this in the mail, or mailBOX?
I think she left it there on purpose.
You think "she" left it there "on purpose"? Do you remember what words mean, or is that too trivial for you anymore?
I remember dogs.
"We sell the best dogs."
It must be a sign.

 

by Apprehensile
12-09-03
Hi, how are you?
What? I'm John. good, you?
So where are you from?
I live at home. Do you have a house?
Um, yeah. Do you want to see it?
not really; do you ever jump?

 

by Apprehensile
12-09-03
He forgets.
Could you explain why you were using your 'acting stupid plan' there?
What plan?
Yes, now I know my destiny.
Guess what?
What?
I don't know either.

 

by Apprehensile
12-09-03
paradoxes
Ok, I'm gonna do it.
Well, if I let him go...but then he'll GO!
I BELIEVE he's passed me.
I... am your deNSity.
Well, it worked in the movie.
So...?

 

by Apprehensile
12-09-03
Do you ever put your butt on the floor?
not as I recall
Sometimes when people die, their butts get cold.
I see your mind is working at full speed.
and the mystery begins...
If I had a reason, I could be happy.
"You have been selected. Come to my house."

 

by Apprehensile
12-09-03
Let us begin.
Hey, guess what?--->...I was selected.---> Whoever lives at 14 Side-of-the-river Dr.
What?-<--by whom?-<--Does he have ponies?
What? Stop staring...'I' was selected.
for what?
buttcrack = codename: Nancy
I'll go to the address and find out.
I'll just follow you and eat chocolate on the way.

 

by Apprehensile
12-10-03
Why?
Well, I know the reason; I just don't know the reason the reason's the reason.
time for self-reevaluation. Should we head back to the secret lair in Bobby's front yard behind the mailbox?
(brutal honesty and why it's rare)
I feel bad, not jealous when you're with other guys; and I know why I only feel that about you. You simply most recently looked at me or said hi. You'll be insignificant soon enough. Why IS that?
I just wanted to be friendly, ok, loser.
The sad reality of social blindness.
It's not like I'm bad and don't care about the individual girl. I'm decent and have reasons for my humble yet high level of self-esteem. I'm nice, just so open-minded and full of God's universal love
that I see every girl as a potential mate and destroy my psyche with an abundance of 'hypothetical' failures. -- Get out of my bubble! I know you're an awesome guy. You're just stupid.

 

by Apprehensile
12-10-03
Maybe you were selected to hammer a nail on the porch. with your hammer, the one right there, in your hand, right there
Leave me alone.
Can I hold the nail?
almost there
Would the mayor let a bear marry a raccoon?
I think that's out of his jurisdiction. Check with the mental hospital.

 

by Apprehensile
12-10-03
confusion; or does the world mock us?
Is this it?
I guess we're close. This is Sidriver Rd.
Here we go! dooda dooda dooda dooda, dooda, dooda, doo...
The address here is 14. Let's open the door.
Yo, we got chalupas, frupas, and oatmeal. What'chu want, dog?
Oh, wait. That's not my name. -- Where'd he go? C'mon! I wasn't actually selected! darn it

 

by Apprehensile
12-10-03
relieve tension by moving
How come I'm always in the foreground; why do I even bother wearing pants?!
I wish I didn't have to look suicidal to show distress.
Move over! I'm gonna show my pants or else you'll have to see my underwear!
What? no! stay away! wait, This isn't gonna go anywhere.
I'm getting AGGRAVATED!
So, they think Joe Stickleton is better than me. "Let's select Joe Stickleton; he's better than that stick guy with the blue shirt." We'll see about that!

 

by Apprehensile
12-12-03
He has [more] friends. Who might they be? Shall we ever see?
I need to infuse my existence with some...thing. Then I could do...stuff.
Yes, your hypotheses seem accurate. We could possibly arrange for you to be normal, though that is quite difficult and risky to the health of the world.
incomplete analyses/studies
O my goby! She's right there. What should I do?
(-This is where I draw blanks, plus it's dependent on her awareness-)
Who is GARY?
Do you think I should leave it in someone else's possession?
Let me see. "I like you. If you like me, tell Gary. He has possessions."

 

by Apprehensile
6-13-04
Sometimes we must show mercy in order for mercy to exist.
Hey, we're in an office! This is new.
Yeah, we're gonna sneak up on the CEOs. Then we're gonna... DO something. hahahaha?
Hmmm, indeed.
Hmmm, there are a few more water coolers here than I'd have guessed would be necessary.
OK, let's go.
our desperate hopes
Um, I think this is a closet.
Oh, well, um, I just thought I heard a feminine cry of distress.

 

by Apprehensile
9-21-04
So you think you're gonna find your girlfriend somewhere around "these parts".
Well, hardly, but it looks nice.
I have to wonder about the likelihood that there exists a girl who would enjoy your adventures as much as you'd like to think.
I could get up there pretty quick. If I make a spear with that branch and then climb there...
When you get lost on an "adventure"
What the he**-where-who-whaaa---?!
Hey, where's your friend?

 

by Apprehensile
9-21-04
How cute.
I love you.
You smell.
um, I don't really need this right now.
Help!

 

by Apprehensile
9-21-04
I want you.
C'mon, dude.
Oh boy, what the hen's goin' on? This isn't right. Could I just like, melt and slip away from this awkward situation?
Let's go.
Come with me.

 

by Apprehensile
3-28-05
Nobody really knows.
Um, who are you?
Yes
What took you so long? Those toilets are like, INCREDIBLE!
I just can't figure out why I recognized that guy. Oh, um, there were complications with public use of the facilities-nothing worth relating. Just toilet issues.
So, you can pay for that, right? >> Dang!
I don't recall eating the chocolate-covered possum. Nor does flogging Mrs. Baker ring a bell. Fortunately, they seem to have deducted the costs of "improv entertainment" and owe us $2.41.

 

by Apprehensile
3-28-05
I can't believe you got paid.
See? Look at that toilet! It's just acting totally innocent.
In-consequence
That's enough crap! I'm just gonna do it. Here I go. Get outta the way, homesy.
This is not good. nope, couldn't be, right?
She could have trouble outrunning a maniac.
Run for your life!
[The sacred thoughts of those outside our power and knowledge]

 

by Apprehensile
3-28-05
I can't believe you got paid.
See? Look at that toilet! It's just acting totally innocent.
In-consequence
That's enough crap! I'm just gonna do it. Here I go. Get outta the way, homesy.
This is not good. nope, couldn't be, right?
She could have trouble outrunning a maniac.
Run for your life!
[The sacred thoughts of those outside our power and knowledge]

 

by Apprehensile
3-28-05
I can't believe you got paid.
See? Look at that toilet! It's just acting totally innocent.
In-consequence
That's enough crap! I'm just gonna do it. Here I go. Get outta the way, homesy.
This is not good. nope, couldn't be, right?
She could have trouble outrunning a maniac.
Run for your life!
[The sacred thoughts of those outside our power and knowledge]

 

by Apprehensile
3-28-05
I can't believe you got paid.
See? Look at that toilet! It's just acting totally innocent.
In-consequence
That's enough crap! I'm just gonna do it. Here I go. Get outta the way, homesy.
This is not good. nope, couldn't be, right?
She could have trouble outrunning a maniac.
Run for your life!
[The sacred thoughts of those outside our power and knowledge]

 

by Apprehensile
3-28-05
Know what?
nope, and I'm still trying to figure out why that bill came in an envelope; by the way, she was nonresponsive once I knocked her into the bushes.
Sure, if you really want to.

 

by Apprehensile
2-26-07
Dancin' it up, yo
Hi (Whew, I did it.)-> John. What's yours?->I'm a senior; you?->...blah blah...
Hi, what's your name?<-******. What year are you?<-I'm a junior....blah blah blah...
fumble
(blah)
Is he just gonna keep waiting for me to ask him stuff?
And so it ends.
Ask another question, darn it!!
Ok, well I guess the song's over, so...

 

by Apprehensile
2-26-07
Friends are nice.
So what happened?
Is that supposed to be an explanation?
not worth relating
Still not exactly in the bag

 

by Apprehensile
2-26-07
Playtime
Where are we going now?
Hey, Mike
'T'sup, G?
Guest appearance
Hi, how do you know our friend?
I'm the world's representative to his system of partially autonomous rule. What's your role?

 

by Apprehensile
2-26-07
Hey, let's go see what's down there!!!! Yeah!!
Why not?
Whoa, look! What's down there?
All you did was turn around.
Can you believe this?
no

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