Mesa Desert > Free Stuff > Gently Used Infants

Author: ArtemisStrong

Date: February 25, 2015

by ArtemisStrong
2-25-15
OPEN ON: TODAY
God! I miss the days of my youth! Now, every waking moment is devoted to my 3,009 children. And my diets.
Oh, to relive those days before we had so many thousands of dependents! Oh the swift cruelty of aging, the inexorable goosestep of the clock!
SMASH CUT TO 3 DAYS EARLIER:
[TYPICAL TEENAGE BEHAVIOR]
[HEROIN COMA]
DISSOLVE TO: NOW
Whatever DID happen to your crippling substance abuse?
Let's sell these kids on Craigslist and find out!