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| God! I miss the days of my youth! Now, every waking moment is devoted to my 3,009 children. And my diets. | |
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| Oh, to relive those days before we had so many thousands of dependents! Oh the swift cruelty of aging, the inexorable goosestep of the clock! | |
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SMASH CUT TO 3 DAYS EARLIER:
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| [TYPICAL TEENAGE BEHAVIOR] | |
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| Whatever DID happen to your crippling substance abuse? | |
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| Let's sell these kids on Craigslist and find out! | |
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