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| Elizabeth Smart ... America's sweetheart. What a tragedy. | |
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| Oh fuckin' please. Some dumb ass mormon white girl get kidnapped and the American media goes ape shit. | |
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| Nevermind the fact that she was held in very loose captivity with plenty of chances to escape. Nevermind the fact that she was constantly within walking distance of her own house. | |
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| And nevermind the fact that if this had been a black kid, you would have never heard about it on the news or anywhere else. | |
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| ... and in other news John Ashcroft and Donald Rumsfeld ... | |
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| Ok, that's it. Where the hell is Ivy's golf club? | |
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