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| The first rule of Fart Club is: you do not TALK about Fart Club. The second rule of Fart Club is ... you do NOT TALK ABOUT FART CLUB. | |
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| Third rule: if the fart stops, goes silent, craps out, the fart is over. Fourth rule: only 2 turds to a fart. | |
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| Fifth rule: one fart at a time, fellas. | |
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| Sixth rule: no gassex, no beano. | |
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| Seventh rule: Farts will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule: If this is your first night at Fart Club ... you have to fart. | |
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