All comics by BlackMarketeer

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by BlackMarketeer
7-01-03
Agreements between the US and Saddam Hussein have been reached...
Sie liegen, sie alle Lüge! Bah.
Recent satelitte scannings show no signs of bombing or missiling in the capital.
Except over one house in the suburbs.
*sigh*

 

by BlackMarketeer
7-01-03
Here we stand in front of the Baghdad Presidental Palace. This is Saddam Hussein. He has arrived to do peace talks with the US...
Ha! Fat chance! This is merely a coverup to kill the political warmonger bastard! DOWN WITH BUSH!
Hang on....That sounds like an F-117 Nighthawk...
Oh shit.
Deh?

 

by BlackMarketeer
7-01-03
I DID IT! I finally hacked into the Stripcreator System! I have the power to change backgrounds and things AT MY WILL!
Lemme just set my autologin to Brad's username and password, and SC is miiiine!
By order of the regime of Saddam Hussein, surrender now or fear the Cum Gun!
I AM GOD, J00 ARE BACTERIUM!!! YAH FOR 1337 SC H4><0RZ!
Oh shit.

 

by BlackMarketeer
7-01-03
Damn the motion picture and sound doohickey, it's never right...
Dial 666 for free website traffic! Dial ><><>< for a hot sexy wife of Bill Gates for free!
WTF?
I got a golden nipple and I'm masturbating. yuuuum...

 

by BlackMarketeer
7-01-03
What the hell?
You have the right to remain standing. Anything you say can and will be assumed as a wish for death.
You've violated Clause 3.14: "Never Take a Walk on March 14, The Day of Pi" For that, welcome to Prison Camp Number 314, Camp "What the Hell?"
Cell 314
Oh shit, this is b-OOOH! BURNING BROWNIE! ME WANT!

 

by BlackMarketeer
7-03-03
Interrogation Room #314.314 (see a pattern?)
Last name bin Laden, first name Osama. Saudi exile, accused of bombing the WTC. That correct?
Yes sir.
<---Cells 300-399 Camp "WTH?" Analysis room --->
I shall take this to the Camp "What the Hell?" Analysis Room...
*snicker*
.....I am so going to get you for this.
HAHAHAHAHA!

 

by BlackMarketeer
7-03-03
We are here in front of the White House, where this person witnessed an outrage by Bush. Can you tell us what he said?
"CAMP. POLICE. INCOMPETENCY. OUTRAGEOUS. DIE. ALL. OF. YOU. OSAMA. GET. AWAY. AH."
It seems that Camp 314 held Bin Laden for a brief period of time, but then escaped. Bush's outrage was so great, this institution worker took him in.
He did not come quietly...
THIS. IS. NOT. RIGHT. I. PRESIDENT. I. NOT. PRISONER. WARTHOG!
Shaddap!

 

by BlackMarketeer
7-06-03
"Bartender-Bot Model 314 activated. Please input your order."
Two coffees, please.
"... . . . . . .... . . . .Order has been processed. Thank you and goodbye."
Riight...
"Bartender Bot Model 314 has detected a lack of payment! Mobilizing Alpha Sequence for Bartender Mech!
Oh shit...

 

by BlackMarketeer
7-06-03
What the hell-
YAAAH! DONT WAIT FOR ME!
"BartenderBot angry! BartenderBot hunt! WARTHOG!"
C'mon buddy, bring it on! YAAAAH!
Come back here shoplifter and get your pillow!

 

by BlackMarketeer
7-06-03
And in this corner, we have the 3.14 time Stripcreator champion! That...uh..Holly thing.
Yaaay!
And the challenger, uh....Gabe!
Yaaay!
FIGHT!

 

by BlackMarketeer
7-06-03
Aaaaaaaaaaah!

 

by BlackMarketeer
7-06-03
I never did anything! You never asked for pay!
"TERMINATE! TERMINATE!
Oh no! AAAAAAAAAAH!
Alert! Alert! Activat..in..g..emergency...repair unit...shutdown...*shutdown*

 

by BlackMarketeer
7-26-03
Ehhh. What's up doc?
Be very very quiet...I'm raping rabbits!
NO WAY!?!?!?! Press the big red button!!!
Uhhh, ok.
Blahahahaha! I'm such a fucking stinker! OMGWTFLOL

 

by BlackMarketeer
7-26-03
I am an alien boxer! GIMME YO DANG ORDER!
Er....I'll just have a burger.
What a weiiiiiiiiiiiiiirdo!!
I said two burgers, BITCH.
I'm the Arby's mitten. Got a problem with that?

 

by BlackMarketeer
7-26-03
I am 007. I have been sent by MI6 to investigate an explosion in space. I believe it has been caused by a wascally wabbit.
Ehhh, he went thataway.
Bottomless Pit with Spinning Blades, Spikes, and the Works --------->
Eh, don't mention it doc. *munch munch*
Thanks.
Bugs Bunny: I blame myself mostly.....NAAAAAAH.
Aaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!! *dies*

 

by BlackMarketeer
7-30-03
Robinson here, M. 007 has been killed in action, we need to take drastic measures. This rabbit looks veeeeeeery dangerous.
Goodness! It appears we need to use....it.
No! Don't you think we could be reasonable M!?
It appears we must.
*sigh* I feel so indignified to use THIS as a weapon...
I want chicken! I want liver! Meow mix! Meow mix! Please deliver!

 

by BlackMarketeer
7-30-03
As you can see Bugs, you're now an internationally wanted criminal. Have you no shame!?
I have a carrot.
Oh great, the Animaniacs off the air, the fat Elmer Fudd dying of a heart attack, and my best actor an internationally wanted criminal!
Wow! You think I'm good!!?!?
Daffy Duck owns your ass.
Oh really now...?

 

by BlackMarketeer
7-30-03
Ehhh, whatcha doin'?
I'm playing in an online RPG game! I've got a level 45 Gunman equipped with an AK-47 with explosive bullets mod! I RULE!
On the screen...
~N|NJ4-G|_|NM4N~: Yaaar! You will not escape my Full Clip with Explosive Bullets attack, Skeletor! GIVE ME MY GRAPE!
xXx5|<3L3T0RxXx: I have been defeated!!! Noo! I need to start over my character again! I HATE THE SORCERER CLASS!
My xXx5|<3L3T0RxXx character is ruined! This is so not fair! I SHALL GET ~N|NJ4-G|_|NM4N~ SOMEDAY!
Daffy tells you to use the Wall spell to at least get rid of the Explosive Bullets mod, but nooo, nobody listens to Daffy...

 

by BlackMarketeer
7-30-03
~N|NJ4-G|_|NM4N~: I feel so cool. I've defeated a Level 50 Sorcerer and gained 2 levels! Too bad I didn't get any Treasure though.
~N|NJ4-G|_|NM4N~: WTF?
^X^UlTiMaTe-oWnAgE: I am a Level 49 Demon Warlock. I challenge you to a fight.
I like Kibbles and Bits.
OMGWTFLOL?

 

by BlackMarketeer
7-30-03
~N|NJ4-G|_|NM4N~: Ha! You will bow before my AK-47! I have a Flamethrower mod on it too! DIE!
^X^UlTiMaTe-oWnAgE: Aaaaagh! Damnit! I haven't anticipated a Fire element attack from a Gunman class!
~N|NJ4-G|_|NM4N~: Crap! I've been electrocuted! Why did I not use my gold to buy an All Purpose Kevlar!? WHY?
^X^UlTiMaTe-oWnAgE: Shockstorm with Auto-Counter mod is your ruler!
~N|NJ4-G|_|NM4N~ has gained 2 levels! Treasure stolen: Auto-Counter Mod, 131,912 Gold
~N|NJ4-G|_|NM4N~: But....you have forgotten that I have a Switch Mod skill on hand! I switch Flamethrower mod for Demon Destroyer mod! DIE!
^X^UlTiMaTe-oWnAgE: *DEFEATED*

 

by BlackMarketeer
7-31-03
My son, today, you and your fellow men shall be instructed by me in the ways of the OMGWTFLOLers. First, they are our cousins and-...Stop looking at me like that, I'm not a molestor.
Hello? My son?
Goddamnit bitch, I have a fucking halo on my head! I'm dead! I'm in Heaven!

 

by BlackMarketeer
7-31-03
?
Arrrr matey! I hid my treasure in my anus! Arrr matey! I've got my life savings of 5 cents stuck in my anus! Arrrr!
Uhm...hear that? I think that's the sound of noone caring...
Arr matey! Thems be fightin' werds! Draw your blade, ye landlubber! Arrr!
Ar! Ar! Ar! I'm a dog! A scurvy dog! HEAD FOR THE HILLS!

 

by BlackMarketeer
11-08-03
Love is in the air...
Help! I'm Love and my parachute broke!
Everyone is kissing the leaves...
Mmm! Oh yes! Gimme more!
And the irony is so thick you can cut it with a knife...
Someone mention me?

 

by BlackMarketeer
11-08-03
At some random house in some random country in some random world in some random universe...
Take care at the office, honey! *sizzle*
SQUAK! SQUAWK!
Come back early!
Ok!
At some random base..
You've been hired to track down whatever the hell is happening. Now get out of here whilst my hands strut mah funky stuff.

 

by BlackMarketeer
11-08-03
I am Morpheus...
What the hell you still doing here!?
Quiet woman! I am prophecising...
Well, I'm prophecising your wang halfway up my vag-er...uh...my breast halfway up yo anus...er...
CUT, GODDAMMIT! *Bang*
Eeeek! My precious milk-giving organs!

 

by BlackMarketeer
11-08-03
Welcome to Pi News tonight. I'm ThreePointOneFour. The top story tonight: Animals at the Local Zoo have invaded the weapons factory!!!
Yes, that is the animal Sherlockis Holmesus.
But nobody gives 3.14 rotten shits about that. On to more important matters...heheh...
I brought along my most tearable bra tonight...

 

by BlackMarketeer
11-08-03
My brother...We meet.
WTF? I know the creator under his other name, RideroftheApocalypse, and he killed me...
Tough shit. But then again, you escaped from prison in my early comics.
Yes, for I have trained so much, I am so tough, even my shit is tough...NOW PREPARE TO MEET THE WRATH OF KAESTSUSTU...or something.
Oh, that's right. Thank you for reminding me. NOW PH33R THE WRATH OF MP5 KANGAROO!
EEEEK! BOOMSTICK!
What has guided me, you ask? Some cheapass picture called "Martial Arts vs. Modern Arts".

 

by BlackMarketeer
11-08-03
Many of us consider letting in ladies first is a sign of gentlemenship. BUT WHAT'S UNDER IT!?
After you, m'lady.
Thank you, kind sir.
This is the real truth of the "gentleman act".
EEEEEEEEK! OHMIGODOHMI-
*BANG*
Skimpy Inuyasha schoolgirl outfit! I'll be able to get a part! I'M BRILLIANT!

 

by BlackMarketeer
11-08-03
On the Nebuchadnezzar...
An agent! You have to send me back!
I can't, I need to jack off to you every time I see you for 10 seconds!
In a random train station...
Mr. Anderson....we meet again.
Wanna know what's weird? Your image id is "neovid".
*BANG BANG BANG BANG WITH AN INVISIBLE DESERT EAGLE*
*BANG BANG BANG BANG*

 

by BlackMarketeer
11-09-03
*KICK, PUNCH KICK PUNCH*
*KICK PUNCH KICK HUMP* Whoops...
CUT! *BANG* What the...?
What shall happen next! Will Neo recover from the trauma of being humped!? Will Smith kill the director? Can Ed go to the bathroom!? Find out next strip on...MATRIX: STRIPCREATOR!
Man, I paid good money for that actor...

 

by BlackMarketeer
11-09-03
When we last left our humble hero (and villain and people in the middle) the middle people were fighting with the villains! And Ed went to the bathroom!
*pissssssss* Ah...
HORRRRAAAAACE! COME CHANGE ED'S DIAPER!
HORRRRAAAAACE! COME CHANGE ED'S DIAPER!
I do have a contract that says you cannot harm any people other than actors that are part of this movie...
Fuck that! It said I was supposed to be a villain and cause immeasurable harm! Ah shit, that's my wife, gotta run!
Is it true that Smith's first name is Horace!? What happened to Neo!? Is the director at a loss for words!? Can I order a double bacon cheeseburger!? Find out next strip on...MATRIX: STRIPCREATOR!
Er...?

 

by BlackMarketeer
11-09-03
When we last left our characters, Smith had a wife and a kid named Ed, and the director was at a loss for words! And I ordered a bacon double cheeseburger!
Here's your cheeseburger.
Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb. Mary killed the little lamb, her fleece was red as blood...
A couple of feet into the next block -->
Now Horace, you watch over Ed, while I go get some veal from the lambs outside...BUTCH! GIMME A POUND OF VEAL!
But Mary!! I'm busy destroying humankind! Fine...
Is Ag-Horace Smith's wife a lamb killer!? Where the hell is Neo?!? Who is this Butch character!? Why are you running up my phone bill!? Find out on the next episode of...MATRIX: STRIPCREATOR!
NOOOOO! My veal is precious!!!!
I'm sorry Johnny, but you know the drill...

 

by BlackMarketeer
3-05-04
When we last left our humble movie (which was Nov 2003. FREAKAY!) Mary and Agent Smith had a butcher named, get this, BUTCH! And he killed a lamb! AND I CAUGHT YOU RUNNING UP MY PHONE BILL! WHY!?
BECAUSE YOU TOUCH YOURSELF AT NIGHT!
WTF?
Lalalalala got an Inuyasha schoolgirl outfit and..OH NO!
HA! No narration for j00! WAHAHAHAHA!
TRANSSEXUAL! DIE!
Aaaaaaaaaah!

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