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| Dear Lord, thank you for the blessings you have bestowed upon my long life thus far... | |
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| I have a lovely wife, two lovely children, and a very stable, well paying job. I've had many wonderful experiences, and I am truly grateful! | |
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| So, please, please, please... Please help me get this huge constipated blockage out of my colon before it fucking kills me! | |
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| Damn... I really wish I was a hot tub right now! | |
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