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| I sure do love screwing around with Ebay by making crazy auctions. | |
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| "Thank you for bidding seven thousand dollars on used earmuffs." | |
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| "ALERT! New Ebay Policy: to prevent people from screwing with Ebay, all bids will be verified and addresses thoroughly checked." | |
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| "A squad of hired goons has been sent to your house to bash the bejeezus out of you. Have a nice day." | |
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