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RING. You have reached Aspen Edge, the super-premium low-carb beer with the great taste. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEP.
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| Hey, I've got a new slogan for you: "Buy enough of this shitty beer and maybe Pete Coors will forget about running for the Senate." BEEP. Whatever happened to "malternatives"? BEEP. YOU SUCK! BEEP. | |
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| Isn't it true the DuPonts consider the Coors to be "a little wacky"? BEEP. Whatever happened to dry beer? BEEP. Yo' mama! BEEP. Whatever happened to ice beer? BEEP. Hey, what are you wearing? BEEP. | |
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| Whatever happened to clear beer? BEEP. Low carbonation? So I can drink it without URRRRRP! BEEP. Whatever happened to Champale? You know, the ale you drink like champagne? BEEP. | |
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| I had to stop drinking your beer. That and the low-fat Twinkies were making me TOO skinny! BEEP. My name is Sue, and I'm an alcoholic. I've had nothing to drink since March 3, except Aspen Edge. | |
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| BEEP. You should call it Dull Edge! BEEP. In a few months, are you going to come out with an ad campaign that says low-carb beer is a crock, like Bud did? BEEP. I'd rather drink my own urine. BEEP. | |
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| I'd rather drink someone else's urine. BEEP. I have a great marketing strategy for you. Don't distribute east of the Mississippi. BEEP. You have reached a number that has been disconnected. | |
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