All comics by Caesari

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by Caesari
3-26-11
OOH! FIYA! HAHAHAHA! I WANT TO TOUCH IT!
WHA? WHERE MY FIYA? I NEED FIYA FO MY CABBAGE!!!
I have cabbage.
Qwest, you might want to stop dreaming. I'm worried about you.
So then this squirrel comes up and he says......

 

by Caesari
3-26-11
Honey, I want a pet wombat!
Why on Earth do you need a wombat?!
Because I know a narwhal is out of the question.
If you need me, I'll be downing a bottle of aspirin.

 

by Caesari
3-26-11
Hey Arny! I was wondering if you could show me to the nearest Starbucks?
Yeah. Anytime, Mr. Fairley. It's just down the block.
Which way?
Oh, it doesn't matter.
There's a Starbucks on the corner of every block?
And in every city. America's unofficial dream come true.

 

by Caesari
3-26-11
I just don't get it, Kibble. I spent years building my portfolio all by myself, and then...
Well, and then it all went kaput.
I could do it for you.
Be my broker? I dunno... I just learned you could talk.
How about we look over that detail portion of our conversation and discuss my terms...

 

by Caesari
3-26-11
Wait, wait, wait.... Your DOG is in charge of your investments now? That's pretty sad, Qwest.
Yep. Kibble's in charge.
So...you think he'd do mine, too?
Desperate, are we?

 

by Caesari
3-27-11
Hey, Cork, where are you going?
The computer room. I gotta get on my Wikipedia account.
Why do you need an account?
To post the most misleading stuff I can.
Go check it out. It says, "Lawn mowers are frequently abducted by aliens."

 

by Caesari
3-27-11
Cason Qwest! What on Earth have you done to my window?!
You don't like it?
Like it? It's horrendous! How do you expect your parents to respond if they see this?
Quite frankly, I thought it added a nice homey feel to the room.
Damn it, you manchild! I don't think SEVERED LIMBS are homey AT ALL!

 

by Caesari
3-27-11
Huh? You son of Abdul! Certainly you blaspheme! Get me the gun! I have no time to waste!
What? NO! I'm in position right now! He'll be coming around the corner soon. That is when I will detonate the bomb. Okay, buh-bye.
It's amazing the conversations you overhear when people talk on those Bluetooth headsets.

 

by Caesari
3-27-11
Hey, Arny, it's your sister. I wanted to see if you wanted to have lunch together tomorrow?
Sure, Hannah. You name the place
What about that diner called Frigotti's?
Oh, no I can't go there. The waitresses make fun of me.
Who the $#!+ are you? Beetle #@+%ing Bailey?!

 

by Caesari
3-27-11
We Rejoin Kibble after being named Qwest's stockbroker...
My master made me his stockbroker and turned the whole shebang over to me.
Wow, that's awesome. I wish somebody would do that for me.
Yeah, except I'm not getting paid. He thinks I'm just doing it for fun.
What are you gonna do?
Set up a Ponzi scheme.
I'll call you in prison.

 

by Caesari
3-27-11
Excuse me, but do you are you good at giving directions?
Yeah, sure. My boys tell me I know how to get everywhere and find anyone.
Wonderful. Do you know where to locate Bernie Madoff. I'm trying to create a business plan.
Uh, yeah. Take a left up ahead and it is two doors down on your left. He's in cell number 177.
Do you, by any chance, also know the location of Jimmy Hoffa?
Seattle. It's where losers go to die.

 

by Caesari
3-27-11
Good boy, Kibble! You did your business, so here's a bone.
I attempted to set up a Ponzi scheme with your portfolio. Unfortunately, I failed.
Oh, you bad dog! Bad dog, Kibble, bad dog!
Do I still get to keep the bone?

 

by Caesari
3-27-11
So, your Ponzi scheme didn't work, but you managed to avoid legal trouble.
Yep, but my new venture won't be so risky.
Oh? And what is that new venture?
Cable TV. It's a monopoly, so you can't go anywhere else!

 

by Caesari
3-27-11
Um... Cork? Why are you on the computer at two in the morning? Your bedtime's at nine.
Hush, Arny. I am striking back against the one who calls himself "Wikia."
He has killed everything I have done, and I will not let him win again.
So... you are addicted to World of Warcraft?
No. Wikipedia. The freaking monitor dude keeps deleting my false posts.

 

by Caesari
3-27-11
Um... Cork? Why are you on the computer at two in the morning? Your bedtime's at nine.
Hush, Arny. I am striking back against the one who calls himself "Wikia."
He has killed everything I have done, and I will not let him win again.
So... you are addicted to World of Warcraft?
No. Wikipedia. The freaking monitor dude keeps deleting my false posts.

 

by Caesari
3-27-11
Hi! Welcome to Starbucks! Can I help you?
Um... yeah.. uh... I want a.. uh... get me a tall... no, no...
Sir, I really don't have time for your crap. Just order regular coffee or stop your bumbling.
But I want a-
Get out of here. I can help the next person!
Customer service has changed....

 

by Caesari
3-27-11
I read somewhere that the goldfish has a memory span of three seconds
Wow, that's crazy.
Yep. I don't think there is another creature on Earth with such a short memory span.
Mhm.
It's kinda sad, really.
Wait, what are we talking about again?

 

by Caesari
3-28-11
I don't really feel like taking you out, so I'll let you take yourself.
Fine by me.
Where's that fire hydrant? Oh well, that thing over there looks good enough for me.
You couldn't find a hydrant so you peed on a black man?!
Yeah. Once I explained what happened to the police, they arrested him and I was off the hook.

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