All comics by Com_Caff

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by Com_Caff
1-30-01
GREETINGS EARTHLING!
Ohh my God its an alien.. I knew they existed. They have so much they can teach me... This is the greatest moment of my life.
I am the representive of a huge multi-star corporation. Would you be interested in purchusing this lovely set of cooking utentsils!
WHAT!!! You come all the way to our planet to sell cooking utentsils. You`re nothing more than a door-to-door salesman. Leave me alone!!!
SO BE IT!!!!!!!!!!

 

by Com_Caff
1-30-01
Eileen, i wrote this letter to tell you how I feel about you.
OHHH KAYY, CHRIS
"The moment when I can`t see your gorgeous face is like being in Hell. I crave the taste of your lips.. the smell of your hair... I love you!!!" .... so whatcha doing tonight
OHH MY GOD!!!
Ohh come on ... you know you want it!
Tell you what... when you have less then five inches of forehead let me know! Till then stay there

 

by Com_Caff
1-30-01
Hello, I` m here today to show how privelged we are here in America. unfortunatly some people are not so lucky. Take little Chi-kna here. Each morning she has to live in the cold all alone.Please help
Please feed me... I`m so hungry... please feed me.
And now I will show you dear and sweet little Fido. This pure bred circus trained canine may soon be with out a home. He desperatly needs your help.
Awf! Awf! Awf! grrrrr. Awf!
A SHORT TIME LATER
Hey wait an minute... what happen to Fido... Chi-kna you didn`t, did you?
Uhmmmm Dog!!!!!

 

by Com_Caff
1-31-01
After weeks of suspence the American public is anxiuisly await the decision of the twelve people who will answer the question. "Who will win."
Finally the last episode of Survivor.
What started out months ago has reached the climax with only two remaining. We have just heard the feelings of the people who will conclude this epic part of American history.
I can`t wait this is it.... I`ve been waiting all this time.
Ladies and gentleman may I be the first to congratulate the next Presiden of the United States, George W. Bush.
Ahh man , I was sure it was going to be the guy who swam naked.

 

by Com_Caff
1-31-01
Sam, if I was you I`d get back to work... you wouldn`t want me to use the encouragement stick, would ya?
No Senor.. I`m sorry.. I`m a happpy worker.. I work for you good now
Laugh all you want, american Pig... I soon will be free, my people with me. Ha ha ha ha .
I dont here working...

 

by Com_Caff
1-31-01
I AM THE ELY!!!! I AM THE RADIO GOD
you got a big head
FEAR ME!!!! I AM THE ELY
Dude, go listen to jimmy eat world.
I WILL EAT YOUR FACE AND YOUR STOMACH WILL BECOME ULCEROUS AND YOUR TOES WILL TURN TO GLUE IF YOU DON'T ACKNOWLEDGE ELY AND THE ALMIGHTY KISS
Yeah, ok craig.

 

by Com_Caff
1-31-01
Like I was teling you earlier, guitars are okay as long as its POP.
What, Danielle that makes no sense. Just admit you can`t stand anybody else's music.
Look Craig, I've listened to your "Emo" rock it just sounds all the same to me.
Yeah, and you can tell the diffrence between the drum machines of the Backstreet Boys and 98* really well can't ya.
Thats is Craig! Jimmy's about to Eat my foot!
Not if I N' Stick my fist into your face!

 

by Com_Caff
1-31-01
Knowing that his fellow DJ's may retaliate after having their dignity destruyed in front of the world wide web, Com_Caff has decided to make one about himself in order to calm down the attitudes and p
hmm... what is a feature I could make fun of myself... Ohh perhaps I could make fun of my choice of music that nobody else likes... No wait thats Danielle.
...hmm maybe if I rib on my luck with women, ahh man thats Bagnall
Ohh... well lets just make another ely or eileen burn "OHH MY GOD!!" ha ha

 

by Com_Caff
1-31-01
So, i was thinking, if we took the station digital, then cross modulated the.......
What the FUCK!?!
Anyways, what i am trying to ask is, if there is anything you would like me to stay after school and show you, i would be more than willing. *wink*
OHH MY GOD!!! First Bagnall and now Craig!!
I'm just tryin' to get some ass tonight!!
Sorry Craig, Tim's the one who's into midget sex, not me.

 

by Com_Caff
2-01-01
So I heard you were going to the mall with Melissa. I was suppose to take my dying grandma to the doctor, but she can wait. I`ll go with you two.
Ahh, Corinne , I don't know if thats such a good idea, it was just suppose to be Mellissa and me. PLus theres your grandma too.
Ohh its okay, she 78... she says she had a good life. Lets Go!
Damn, How can I get rid of her... think think.
So we about ready...?
Eh, eh... eh, I just remember I have to go and, eh, a SCREW IT!! Corinne leave me alone, Your teeth are to big!

 

by Com_Caff
2-01-01
Yh mun on mu mon L to double O to the P. Mun nym du MIC
What the FUCK !?!
Yh mun on mu mon L to double O to the P. Mun nym du MIC
Damn man, open your mouth!!!
Yh mun on mu mon L to double O to the P. Mun nym du MIC
Shit, I`m not even real and I can`t understand him!

 

by Com_Caff
2-01-01
Ok, so maybe I could make fun of myself for not being able to spell, maybe for not having a phone.....
Or my inability to say anything that might be considered funny (call to mind "what's your worst x-mas memories?)
But that would be too easy, I SORRY!!!

 

by Com_Caff
2-02-01
So Jeremy, are you sure its all right that I let you guys skip any class you want?
Of course, do I look like the kinda of guy who would lie?
Okay now how about this new rule in which WEJY's credit account is through my MASTERCARD. Are you sure thats legal?
Yes, ohh yeah if you want to be as cool as a teacher like Mr. Diroff you must make it mandoatory for all the female DJ's to go out with me.
Well if you say so... I`m not sure how the girls are going to like it though.
No it will be all right.... now about kicking Craig off Program and giving it to me...

 

by Com_Caff
2-02-01
" Gay ass robot" Ha ha ha ha . this is the greatest comic ever. I am a genius
Those guys are finally going to quit making fun of my huge forehead now because they can see me as the comedian I have always been.
Chris reads Bagnalls epic
Bagnall you a Fucking Stupid. Big-Foreheaded Retard

 

by Com_Caff
2-02-01
I, Com_Caff feel that because I have a small dick and I suck monkey balls, that I should make fun of evryone on my radio staff
Man Who good I make fun of next?
Ok! I know! I'll make fun of Banall's big head, or maybe Craig's music
And then I can catch a ride home from someone, and use someone elses phone to call my girlfriend, because I'm a huge loser without a license or phone.

 

by Com_Caff
2-02-01
You know Danielle MAB really isnt that big of deal
Well how come you tried so hard and lost?
Well I didnt try really hard this time
Right so that's why you spent the night here at the studio??
I didn't stay every night.
Ah well that's ok because my name is on the winners list and well your's isnt!

 

by Com_Caff
2-09-01
Alone as per usual, today Bagnall is contemplating the meaning of life and why he's here......
Let's se, I molest little boys, I have a receding hairline, I have no idea how to be funny even though I try as hard as I can, and we all know how well I do with the ladies......
......and yet still no one likes me, what have I done wrong? Maybe I should shut up, maybe I should start taking responsibility and doing my job at WEJY, maybe I could get some rogaine.....
.....and suddenly the world became a much better place
NO!!!! That would be too logical !!! I know now what I must do! HARI KARI !!!!!!!!!!!

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