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| This weekend only at ShopMart, there is NO SALE WHATSOEVER going on! That's right, NO SALE AT ALL! | |
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| Even if it's marked down, you still pay FULL PRICE! Gaze at aisle after all of regular prices! Gape at the complete lack of colorful signage! | |
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| So don't miss this once in a lifetime event! We repeat... for this weekend only, there is NO SALE AT SHOPMART! | |
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| I'd go, but there's a dress code. | |
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