All comics by DARN_TUTEN

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by DARN_TUTEN
8-27-03
Hey, I thought you went to the zoo ?
I did but I got kicked out for feeding the squirrels.
I know they say not to feed the animals, but kicking you out is a bit harsh isn't it ? What were you feeding them ?
To the lions.

 

by DARN_TUTEN
8-27-03
Knock!Knock!
Who's there ?
matthew
matthew who ?
ma thews are wet, can I come in an dwy my thocks ?
oh brother

 

by DARN_TUTEN
8-28-03
THE WARD....
you're doing well enough to leave the psych ward today but just to be sure, answer just one more simple question. tell me what 3 x 3 equals.
uhhh that would equal 17 sir and by the way, just say no.
perhaps you are well enough to leave the psych ward today but just to be sure, answer just one more simple question. tell me what 3 x 3 equals.
well it seems to me that the answer is tuesday.
Very good Charlie, 3x3 is 9. now tell me, how did you get the answer?
easy doc it's simple, i subtracted 17 from tuesday.

 

by DARN_TUTEN
8-29-03
DONT BE SO UPSET IM JUST GOING FOR A FEW DAYS AND ILL BE BACK.
WILL YOU CALL WHEN YOU GET THERE ?
SURE I WILL CALL AS SOON AS I GET TO MY UNCLES HOUSE.
HOW LONG WILL THAT BE?
NOT TOO LONG, ITS A NON-STOP FLIGHT.
A NON-STOP FLIGHT?, HOW ARE YOU GOING TO GET OFF ?

 

by DARN_TUTEN
8-30-03
THE PRETTY BORD CYNIC CLINIC
HI THERE. HAVE YOU ANY PLANS MADE FOR AFTER YOUR RELEASE ??
OH YEAH DOC, IM GONNA PLAY SOME GIGS, GET FAMOUS, THEN HAVE SOME CHICS
AND WHAT ABOUT YOU, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE ?
IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED DOCTOR BECAUSE I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU EVERYTHING. FIRST IM GOING TO THE SALON TO GET A NEW HAIRDO, I HOPE THAT ONE FLOSSIE WITH THE BIG BOOBERS AINT THERE CAUSE YA KNOW SHE......
WHEW!! THANKS FOR GETTIN ME OUTTA THAT ONE. IM LETTING HER OUT BECAUSE IM AFRAID OF HER YOU KNOW. ANYWAY WHAT WILL YOU BE DOING WHEN YOU GET OUT? AND WHY ARE YOU THROWIN CASHEWS AT YOUR CROTCH?
IM F'ING NUTS, IM NEVER GETTING OUT!!

 

by DARN_TUTEN
9-01-03
WHATS THE MATTER SIGMOND?
IVE BEEN TRYING ALL DAY TO TAKE AN ASPIRIN
WHY IS THAT SO DIFFICULT
BECAUSE THE BOTTLE SAYS DO NOT USE IF SEAL IS BROKEN
YEAH, SO
I CANT FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET ONE OUT WITHOUT BREAKING THE SEAL

 

by DARN_TUTEN
9-01-03
my butt hurts...i think i have assteroids
dont you mean hemorrhoids?? asteroids are found in outer space
shouldnt it be the other way around??
....he does make a point
oh, i get it now.....i have himorrhoids and if you get them they would be called herroids right
he must be on that strip thing again

 

by DARN_TUTEN
9-01-03
and now its time for some deep thoughts
what has many possibly millions of similar moving parts, yet is capable of only one simple task?
the answer will come in time

 

by DARN_TUTEN
9-06-03
thinking..........
an hourglass of course
whats with all the clowns ?
ahh its now so obvious
i am not smart so i will criticize others
good idea me too

 

by DARN_TUTEN
9-07-03
feelings are futile
do you feel like talking about your feelings now felix, i feel it would be helpful to you if i knew how you felt
yeah i bet you would like to feel me you purv
how about you horace, how do you feel
oh i think i feel just fine sir, but if you want to and well i would love for you to um give me some feedback on how i feel to you
this place is full of defects im so frustrated i must tell someone how i feel
oh god he looks like he feels like feeling again

 

by DARN_TUTEN
9-08-03
at the local emergency room
uh miss? somethings wrong with my brother, he fell off the roof-----yes maam.....room 5 ok thanks . ........follow me dumbass
i want my momma
i wonder what this big blue button does, code blue? whats code blue???
code blue-code blue-room 5 stat!!!(wanna get away ?)
uh oh

 

by DARN_TUTEN
9-08-03
this is whats really going on in those commercials
can you hear me now ?
no
good
wat you break ing up
can you hear me now ?
no i dont fear your cow

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