All comics by DLo

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by DLo
4-20-03
We find our heroes just as we left them... still total idiots.
herro! I am roboguy!
Y'arr! Pirate I be!
but suddenly!
you are change!!!
hey kid, want some poison? uh... I mean ice cream. yes. do not read what I just said.
It seemed very bad.
THIS BAD!
see? ice cream. mmm... poisony... wait! aaa!

 

by DLo
4-21-03
things were far from back to normal.
sup?
I tried to sell ice cream poison to a robot but almost died by eating it myself.
well, nevermind, it was pretty normal.
what does he mean by "normal" anyway? where do we have to go from?
beats me... wait! look out behind you!
yep. Normal. Normal normal normal.
You cannot escape me, bad man! Not even in hell!
dammit! uh... want some ice cream?

 

by DLo
4-21-03
t'was about 12:30 at night and everyone was drunk as all hell.
I am scary molester uncle! raaagh!
you know what, you'd like my granddaughter.
Everyone but one person, who happened to have been deemed dumb enough without alcohol and wasnt allowed to have any.
Who're you?
I'm Whitney. I'm a girl.
...Ew.
So, are we gonna do it?
NO! OH GOD NO! I'm getting outta here!!

 

by DLo
4-21-03
Enter idiot of idiots.
Good ol' Drew.
Oh, shit. Just my luck. DB.
Quick thinking on my part prevailed, of course.
Sorry DB, can't talk now, I hate you too much. Why don't you go talk to Rich over there?
oh, uh... ok. later.
Idiotpallooza
So, wanna be losers together?
Sure. What's with that trenchcoat anyway? I saw something just like that on the simpsons a few nights ago...

 

by DLo
4-21-03
Everyone has their limits, I guess... even Rich.
And then Homer said "D'oh!" and I laughed for like ten minutes solid...
Goddamnit! I'm a slimeball and I still can't stand you! I'm leaving!
ah, the slow mind at work.
maybe not so much "at work" as "still being a useless lump of pure inanity"
...Good ol' Homer.

 

by DLo
4-21-03
Back in the land of (semi) cool people...
So, Matt, how's it goin?
fine.
cool as in totally geeky.
got anything important to say?
Yes. ALL OF YOU THIRD EDITION MUTHAFUCKAS CAN EAT MY SHIT, CUZ SECOND EDITION TOTALLY ROCKS MY ASS OFF!!!!!!
Meanwhile...
...then Homer said "D'oh!" and I was like AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ... gets me every time.
This kid has absolutely no worth in society at all... I'm gonna go smoke some weed.

 

by DLo
4-21-03
God, no! they've met! there's only one thing to do now!
Do you watch the simpsons?
Do I ever! I'm a girl you know.
Go, red robot! I choose you!
NOW I KILL YOU BOTH! PREPARE TO DIE!
This is like that one episode where Maggie was killed by a robot... good ol' Maggie.
Otherwhere....
I sense a positive ripple in the force!
My sources tell me that Whitney got away with her evil "lip-magic" though... our victory is not yet complete.

 

by DLo
4-21-03
back at the scene...
so, want some ice cream?
do I ever! I'm a girl you know.
now that's just wrong.
Time to die, lip-beast!
Hey big boy, wanna see my shameful little secret? (I'm a girl you know.)
Run, Red Robot! Save yourself!!
NOOOOOOOOOO!
[censored for totally idiotic content]

 

by DLo
4-21-03
How long can this last?
Your desire and attention both disgust me and make me sad...
You know you want this.
Just kill her already!!
Yes, master!!
AAAAH!! IT BURNS EVEN MY HORRIBLY OVERSIDED LIPS!!
Now THAT's a relief.
You don't know the half of how much of a relief that is... she was after ME after all.

 

by DLo
4-21-03
Whew, I'm glad that's over.
uh huh.
Yr looking at porn, aren't you?
uhh.... no?
whatever, I'm leaving you alone with yr computer now.
Sweet sweet fetish bondage Dungeons and Dragons elf boobies...

 

by DLo
4-21-03
Later, in Hell
... then I felt a burning pain. And not a good burning pain, mind you. (remember, I'm a girl!)
Good ol' burning pain...
D'oh!
I can't STAND those guys
Amen brutha.

 

by DLo
4-21-03
*XXXIbitsXXX has entered the chat.* Sexyelf247: finally! you're back! XXXIbitsXXX: Oh, yeah baby. You know it.
SW333333T!!!!!1
Sexyelf247: I've been waiting a long time... and I have something I want to tell you.
Ind33d!
Sexyelf247: So, you wanna do it?
oh, the sweet sweet irony.

 

by DLo
4-21-03
many of you may be thinking that I was rather cruel to Matt in my portrayal of events in the last comic.
damn straight you did!
so I'll redo the last scene in an effort to make it more realistic to all of you.
A-ight! this's gonna r0xx0r!!!1
Sexyelf247: So, you wanna do it, cyber-style?? XXXIbitsXXX: Y35! 0h 60|) y35!!!!!1
It's a good thing nobody can see where my hand is...

 

by DLo
4-22-03
all of a sudden and for no apparent reason, it is now Christmas.
HO HO HO!
YAY! Santa, what'd you get me???
uh... well, I'm not sure how to say this...
You had better have some fucking presents go give me or so help me, I'll...
Good save, santa.
uh... well, I... got you... everything on your list? yeah. that's right. took me a damn long time to find... uh... to find all that stuff... yeah...
You even got rid of that restraining order? YAY! Romance, here I come!

 

by DLo
4-22-03
You got me everything on my list, too, right? Even the elf?
well, to tell you the truth...
IF you didnt get me a frickin' elf I'll stop believing in you and you'll die, bitch! Besides, I know you've got a million elves.
Ho, now let's not get hasty... just look behind you.
...good ol' Christmas.
This is NOT what I wanted! Goddamnit santa, you're goin down!

 

by DLo
4-22-03
what am I doing here, anyway? it isn't even christmas...
Santa, you've disappointed us for the last time.
Maybe I was a bit hasty... oh well, too late now.
Is christmas doomed? Will Red Robot take over the job of Santa? Tune in next time for the true meaning of christmas.
There's only room for one big red guy in this comic!
I'm hungry. I want a twix bar.

 

by DLo
4-22-03
d00d! You not only ended Christmas, now I'll never get my Seven-of-Nine/Deanna Troy playset or my frickin' naughty elf woman!!!
For those things you'll always have the internet. More importantly, we learned the True Meaning of Christmas.
what IS the true meaning of Christmas, anyway?
I'm glad you asked. The True Meaning of Christmas is that when yr hungry, grab a Twix, because in reality it is better than Snickers.
That is NOT the true meaning of christmas!!!
Hey, have you ever watched the simpsons?

 

by DLo
4-22-03
Third Edition... You know a geek by whether or not they play D&D, and a BIG geek by their preference of what KIND of D&D...
Alright, is everyone ready to get started?
Uh, Tyler, I've got a question... do my ranger senses tell me that there are any snakes nearby?
I dunno... let me roll... yeah, actually, David, there's a snake right behind you.
I KNEW IT!!
Thus ends another riveting session of Third Edition Theatre. Tune in next time for when the boys learn how to roleplay sex! Exciting! Mysterious! Really Gross! Only on Fox.
What? He must mean you, I'm a frickin bard, not a snake.
No Rich, I'm pretty damn sure he means you... frickin slimeball... I'm going to the tavern.

 

by DLo
4-22-03
Bo bo dee do... cleaning the school... haven't seen the floor for three days... only three days...
Hey, there, Mr. Janitor! What's shakin, bacon?
Hey, I'm here to clean, not make chit-chat with students... and did you just come on to me?
Don't judge him, he's just lonely.
I'm sorry, I have no other friends... and... well... yes.
It's ok kid, I understand. I'll meet ya in the alley behind the school at 8:30.

 

by DLo
4-22-03
I never thought I'd end up... HERE...
Nobody ever does... hell, it isnt half as bad around here now that that DB guy escaped... *shudder*
Hey, Satan, I'm a starving fat man in a wool coat sweating like a dog... you got anything to eat?
I'd love to help you out, as you've really been God's biggest rival for years, but we've got nothing other than the souls of the damned to munch on... oh, shit, look out behind you!!
Hey there, big boy, I've got something for you to eat right here... and you know I've been a *very* bad girl...
YOU'RE A GIRL??? I can see why Hell is considered a punishment! I think I'm gonna throw up...

 

by DLo
4-22-03
Y'know Jason, every time I decide to become a superhero, it makes me want to hang myself... every time I want to hang myself, it makes me want to become a superhero... is that normal?
Seems normal enough... I took yr advice and pledged allegiance to the "frag" instead of the flag... it made me feel alive.
Guys, enough philosophical chit-chat! We've got a problem!! He's multiplied!
Aw, shit. I had better get my bow ready...
D'oh!
Dude, that totally reminds me of this one time on the Simpsons...

 

by DLo
4-22-03
While Drew and Matt tackled this newfound problem, Dave and Jason amused themselves with talk of projectile weapons.
Guns are totally better... look at games like Counter-Strike.
Dude, I get +27 to hit and damage with my arrows.
Furthermore, arrows are made of wood, which is environmentally friendly... and you can build things with wood... and what's more-
BANG!
But guns... go bang...
you are SO lucky that this is only a comic, Jason.

 

by DLo
4-22-03
we're gonna need extra help on this one...
If we need help, why'd we leave Jason and David??
I get sick of Dave saying he has his bow ready, and I thought Jason could keep him occupied... although his excellent aim would've come in handy...
Well if that's what we need, I'll get the one person we need... excellent fighting skills, total lack of qualms about blood... I hear he even has a girlfriend... I wonder if she's an elf...
Enter John. Johnny. J-dawg. Johnny boy. He's cool. Like a frog.
RiNgGgG!!!
my John-sense is ... tingling... oh, wait, no, the phone's just ringing.

 

by DLo
4-23-03
Good, yr here! Ok, go get them!
I brought the muffins you wanted...
hey, matt, want a muffin?
Actually, we called you so we could force you to do our dirty work... go kill DB and his clone. Now. Do it. NOW.
somehow I get the feeling that I'm being used...

 

by DLo
4-23-03
It's getting dark... why is it getting so dark?
cuz it's night, John.
Good ol' John.
AAAH! oh, you snuck up on me... hello, DB...
That's not all... D'oh!

 

by DLo
4-23-03
This is an ambush.
What? Ambush? Hey, there really are two of you!
That's right there are...
Betcha didn't think I was smart enough to pull this off, did you, John??
Well... no, honestly I didnt. And I still don't.
Yeah... you're right... he isnt. I'm waaaaay smarter... I am so smart. SMRT! D'oh!

 

by DLo
4-23-03
WHAT? You are not smarter. You're my clone!
Two heads are better than one, therefore I must be smarter!
What the heck is that supposed to mean, anyway?
Guys! I have the answer. Yr both dumb as rocks. Have a muffin and shut the heck up.
I think he has a point.
...good ol' John.

 

by DLo
4-23-03
...so, the muffins were poisoned? Good Job!
You know, I think they would have died of their own stupidity eventually... now why are the lights off?
Let's just say that there are some things done better in the dark...
Dum dee dum dum... WHAT? UNHOLY SHIT, NO!!!!
meanwhile, in hell
Good ol' satan.
D'oh!

 

by DLo
4-23-03
End Chapter 1

 

by DLo
4-23-03
Well, if that's that, then I'm gonna get going...
Wait! Don't you want to play D&D??
What?? Why would you think that?
Matt, I thought you loved D&D...
Its *A*D&D, Jason! We don't just play any old "dungeons and dragons", we're **ADVANCED**!!!
oh yeah, now I remember why I quit...

 

by DLo
4-23-03
Lord, why are there chapters in a comic with no discernable storyline?
There is a storyline, and you've taken your part in it, my son... let me help you remember.
.......................FLASHBACK........................ Jesus: You destroyed the evil one, just as the scriptures had promised...
DIE SCUM!
AAH! MY LIPS!
...and went on to punish my nemesis downstairs with the same fell blow!
hey there, "hottie"... I'm a girl you know!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

by DLo
4-23-03
So, you say that you're not a cyber-porn-elf-fetish obsessed AD&D geek, eh "Ibits"??
WHAT? How did you know my internet alter-ego??
Well... you are linked to the bottom of my page...
That's very true, and what a nice, shiny blue link it is!
SHAMELESS PLUG!
SHAMELESS PLUG!

 

by DLo
4-23-03
You see, *I* am DLo.
uh, no, dude... *I* am DLo... and this is *my* comic.
CLICK!
We go by a strict Don't ask, don't tell policy... so Don't Ask. And Don't Tell..
Well what do you know?
Ok dude, that is not cool. Nobody dresses Drew but himself and possibly Rachel, in his (my) dreams... wait, did I just say way too much?

 

by DLo
4-23-03
you know what I hate?
Calculus.
Don't we all.

 

by DLo
4-23-03
bo dee do do dooo... oh, hey.
Dammit, Drew! I don't appreciate the abuse I get on this comic!
Well, to hell with what you appreciate!
AAHG!
...literally.
Red Robot is getting too damn good at this...

 

by DLo
4-24-03
Whoa, hey, where'd my fourth wall go? Guess this means it's time to talk to my adoring fans.
DLo, why don't you make strange inside jokes that nobody but yr close friends will understand?
Well, to be honest, while I have been writing these mainly for my friends, I want the humor to be available to all... I think people who know me just have even MORE to enjoy.
Did you know that what you just said assumes that you are funny in the first place and makes you an arrogant bastard?
Uh... hey! Who let a little kid in here? I thought little kids weren't allowed to be this deep into the internet... no more questions, I think I've answered everything now...

 

by DLo
4-24-03
Drew, you haven't been running this enteprise very well.
What? What do you mean?
I know what he means! He's saying you need to hack this website so that you can have pr0n comics!
I think he's saying that you need to give us all roles as Hell Ninja Commandos, complete with machine guns and afros.
Dude, he's totally saying that you need to build a large, stationary object made of wood... then shoot arrows at it.
...actually, none of those are anywhere close, but now that I think about it, compared to what he COULD be doing, I guess he's doing an OK job...

 

by DLo
4-24-03
...new security system all installed!
Hey! Satan let me out of hell, said it was getting too crowded.
AAH! Rich is back! Activate trapdoor!
I'm faaaaallliiiiiiiing!!!!!
*THUMP* Oww! Hey, can I get a little help? I'm still alive!
Not for long! JASON! GET YR GUN!

 

by DLo
4-29-03
I had some questions, needed some answers... so I went to the first totally inaccessible place where I was sure that my questions would get terrible answers that would provide no meaning to my life.
I hate my life. What should I do??
I dont know about you, but I'm getting out of here! This place has gone all to he-uhh... it's all gone bad!
That's right, Hell. I went to Hell.
Not good enough. Howabout you?
Well, I've found that Robitussen does wonders...
Because if I got any answers, how boring would that be?
For some reason, being in Hell isnt helping... how'd I get here anyway?
I think you know what I'm going to say you need... I'm a girl, you know.

 

by DLo
5-05-03
Zack is undeniably one of the dumbest kids I know.
'scuse me son, can I talk to you a minute? We've found a rather large bag of marijuana near here with the name "Zack" on it... mind tellin me yer name?
ohshitohshitohshitohshit! I dont even smoke but they're gonna catch me and there'll be no character witnesses cuz I'm an asshole... say nothing... say nothing... can't hold it in anymore!!
FUCK YOU, PIG! YOU CAN'T ACCUSE ME BECAUSE I BLOCK WITH MY PHAGE THE UNTOUCHABLE! HAH! YOU'RE REMOVED FROM THE GAME, SO FUCK OFF!
maybe that was the wrong thing to say...
Whoever said I really WAS a girl, anyway? care to find out? This IS prison, you know.

 

by DLo
10-30-04
So, um. I haven't made one of these in a long ass time...
MY HEART's AS FULL AS A BAKED POTATO!
...
I THINK YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN!

 

by DLo
10-30-04
I have a problem...
I don't hate everything anymore, like I used to...
once more, for old time's sake!
Y'arr, what's your name, little girl?
Ah... I've always wanted to be with a half blind, blade wielding man... cut me now!

 

by DLo
10-30-04
Due to the creation of a strange batch of Witches' Brew... the unthinkable has happened.
At the end of my senior year of high school... Whitney Geiger got engaged to be married.
The world cried that day.
dammit
looks like we've reverted to base matter

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