All comics by Daniel_Ness

 

by Daniel_Ness
2-26-01
So I was walking down the street the other day . . .
Uh-huh.
. . . and did I see at the grocers but Vera Migley!
Well I never.
I said to her, "Vera!" I said, "How was your holiday in Barbados?". And *she* said . . .
I want sex with your face.

 

by Daniel_Ness
2-26-01
In an exclusive club in London's Soho district . . .
I'm sorry, it's too loud, I can't hear you!
All right, darlin'? This is a banging garage choon, init? Bo selecta!!!
I thought you'd never ask!
D'you want to go somewhere quieter, luv?
Later that night . . .
I hope he doesn't take too long, I'm missing Hollyoaks.
Here comes the meat locomotive!

 

by Daniel_Ness
2-26-01
My cat is so cute! It did the cutest thing today, it ate this enormous spider and left two of the severed legs under my duvet!
I was playing PSO today and I killed a nanodragon with my brand+4 and my MAG evolved!
His name is Elvis and I brush him every day, and he's sooo cute, I love Elvis, I do!
There are so many great games coming out for the Dreamcast. I can't wait for Shenmue 2, it looks fantastic!
Isn't it great how we never run out of things to talk about?
I know, it's like we're linked or something.

 

by Daniel_Ness
2-26-01
On the Spaceship Pioneer 2 . . .
Woohoo! I'm here, now let's do battle!
Two Hours Later . . .
Where the &%& is everyone? I'm not putting up with this, I'm leaving!
One Minute Later . . .
Finally, I'm here! Does anyone want a game?

 

by Daniel_Ness
2-26-01
On the Spaceship Pioneer 2 . . .
Woohoo! I'm here, now let's do battle!
Two Hours Later . . .
Finally, someone to talk to! What level are you? What weapons and items do you have? What's your MAG called? Where shall we go first? I'm so excited!!!
NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Parlez-vous francais?

 

by Daniel_Ness
2-26-01
On the planet Ragol . . .
Killer! Attack, attack! Dodge the flame, dodge the flame! Oh no!
wotch owt m8!
Gah, I'm dead! I'll be right back . . .
One telepipe later . . .
Now where is my Ice Rifle +2?
i've got 2 go, soz m8! Cya!!!!1

 

by Daniel_Ness
2-26-01
Glyndwr's bedroom . . .
Cthulu, I love j00 mang.
Branch's bedroom . . .
Cthulu, u r a gr8 m8 and I want to sexx0r your face.
The Great Cthulu's bedroom . . .
It's an obvious gag. I wish I'd been in somebody else's strip. Bah.

 

by Daniel_Ness
2-27-01
Featuring a special guest appearance by Mr Omlo
.detcepxenu saw taht lleW
!HOM
!sdrawkcab gninnur eb ot sraeppa emit tub . . .
?yllaeR
. . . deciton ev'uoy fi wonk t'nod I
?seY

 

by Daniel_Ness
2-27-01
Glyndwr confronts Mr Omlo . . .
Mr Omlo, it has come to my attention that since you bought the digi catchprase 'Moh!' to the Lowpass Stripcreator community, many budding comics creators have decided to take the expression . . .
. . . and use it as their own quickfix punchline. This causes a problem, as since the proliferation of the 'Moh' craze myself and my gr8 m8s have started to sound like idiots whenever we . . .
. . . use the word, *despite* the fact that we used it long before any of this 'Mr Omlo the Skeleton says "Moh!"' nonsense was even conceived of. Do you have anything to say in your defense?
Moh!

 

by Daniel_Ness
2-27-01
It's another balmy day in Lowpass City . . .
I'm going to tell you how it's going to be, with Scotch's lifetime guarantee. Tape what you want both night and day, and . . .
Go on then, say it.
Get ready!
I know what's coming next, so say it, say it now!
. . . Re-record, not fade away, re-record not fade away, re-record not fade away . . .
Hoorah, I thought you were going to say something else! Moh! I mean, no, shit, it's too late . . . sigh.

 

by Daniel_Ness
2-27-01
More than meets the eyes . . .
Arrgh, it's Shrapnel, the evil Insecticon!
Zzzay your prayerzzz, Optimuzzz!
Oh no, he's transformed into his Decepticon robot form!
*Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch!*
*sigh* I miss the days when we were shown on Wacaday. It's just not the same any more.
At leazzzt thizzz izzz better than Beazzzt Warzzz.

 

by Daniel_Ness
2-27-01
Lowpass favourite and alt.digitiser culotte model confronts professional Idiot Boy Daniel Ness about his latest strip, Transformers: The Movie 2 . . .
Mr Ness, it has come to my attention that in your Lowpass comicstrip you mercilessly made fun of the animated television show 'Beast Wars'.
Isn't it true that you are, in fact, a *fan* of the show you so cruelly mocked? Now that this is out in the open, what do you have to say for yourself?
Moh!
Oh for Heaven's sake!

 

by Daniel_Ness
2-27-01
After their climatic battle against the gun-toting Willy, brothers Jimmy and Billy Lee fight each other for the honour of copping a feel from the lovely Linda. The story contiues . . .
Take that Jimmy! My love for Linda is pure; you cannot hope to defeat me!
He's . . . *gasp* . . . too strong for me. I suppose dying in the best ending to any video game is . . . *choke* . . . some consolation . . .
Billy, I can't believe it's you!
You'd better believe it! I'm here to rescue you!
*You* rescue *me*?! It's the eighties, Billy, us sistas are doing it for ourselves! Now where's that whip?
*Oof!* Frankly I blame Cyndi Lauper. Or Madonna.

 

by Daniel_Ness
2-27-01
I thought this up last night, you know . . .
Let's see who's on HAHS DIGI . . .
hehe ppl
It's Dragz! I love Dragz!
hehe ppl
u r a gr8 m8 2 ne1
*sigh* Nobody appreciates my for my mind.

 

by Daniel_Ness
2-27-01
Back at the Branch . . .
Battle_Angel_Ael33t0r: Hentai dirty box facial Billie coke bottle sexx0r!
hehe ppl
Battle_Angel_Ael33t0r: cream pie XXXtreme close-up hot little tight lolita . . . I'm thirsty, I need a Tiz0r. Back soon, Dragz!
hehe ppl
Ugh, I feel so violated.

 

by Daniel_Ness
2-27-01
This is a public service announcement.
Hello, Daniel here. Since you are viewing this website, you're likely to enjoy comic-strips. And if you've been reduced to reading one of *my* strips, then you're probably in need of a good . . .
. . . laugh right about now. So you should all go to http://www.lowpass.net/stripcreator/comiclist.php?sort=date&o=2&author=favus right now! What are you waiting for?
Oh, right . . .
Moh!

 

by Daniel_Ness
2-27-01
Oh, my Lord! How can you forsake your only child?
Thou shalt be made King above all Kings in the kingdom of Heaven, my son.
But father, I suffer so! Canst thou not remove this bitter cup from mine lips?
My child it is your destiny to die upon the cross that the sins of mankind might be repented.
The pain! The agony! I lived to serve mankind and they slay me like a common thief! Woe, woe!
Oh shut up, you whinging bitch.

 

by Daniel_Ness
2-27-01
Oh woe! That I, Jesus of Nazereth should perish upon the cruciform in order to save humanity . . .
. . . the very humanity I healed and nourished! My Lord, help your only child, help your son, release me from this iron grip, these sharpened bonds . . .
Your son . . . he doesn't half go on.
Tell me about it.

 

by Daniel_Ness
2-27-01
I'm tired and lacking inspiration
Hey.
Hey.
Go right ahead.
Mind if I join you?
You forgot your big wooden cross, man.
I knew I was missing something.

 

by Daniel_Ness
2-28-01
It's television time at Branch's house . . .
"Emerald, I love you. I love you more than any man has loved a woman. I've loved you ever since the day my evil twin Chad was shot, the day of Arianne and Taylor's wedding."
Oh, I didn't realise this was on. I love this soap opera.
"Oh Chester, I love you too! I want to make mad, passionate love to you, so take me, take me now!"
" . . . Chester, what's happening to you? You're . . . ch-changing into a monster! Are those . . . tentacles?"
I really, really love it.

 

by Daniel_Ness
2-28-01
Toyah, I hate your stinking guts, you bitch slut slag whore.
You dress like pensioner and look like John Merrick. I hate your Geordie ways and the fact that you spell your name with a lower-case 't' pisses me off no end. You really are a loathesome creature.
I love you favus.
I can do no wrong.

 

by Daniel_Ness
2-28-01
Hmm, I wonder who this could be . . .
I live in the country and I hate STUPID FUCKING TOWNIES who PISS all over my GERANIUM BUSH!
They say our love won't pay the rent, before it's gone our money's all been spent.
I know, it's Mooney!
On Friday nights mother and I play cribbage.

 

by Daniel_Ness
2-28-01
Hi, I'm Gabe from the popular comic strip Penny Arcade. Now, you might think that I, being a comic strip character and all, wouldn't have a care in the world.
. . . and for the most part you'd be right. But as great as it is to be a cartoon character, there are *some* disadvantages to being a comic character . . .
*FAP* *FAP* *FAP*
. . . like having to live next door to the guys from The Thin H Line, for example.

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