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| Sometimes I feel that having a girlfriend is like standing behind a horse, drawing a bulls-eye on your crotch, and hitting the horse in the ass with a sling shot | |
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| But it's great to know that when things are bad, I can just pound a few back, wait for you to show up, and tell you how I feel. You're my best friend. | |
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| You never had a girlfriend. And that beer was non-alcoholic. | |
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