All comics by Disco_God_Father

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Fuckin' Starbucks.
Hey man, where's the coffee shop? I sure could use an espresso royale moccachino.
I hate coffee shop fags.
They sure do burn well though.
Twinkies rule!

 

Want an animal balloon?
Look at this fucking ass clown.
Only if it's shaped like Jenifer Lopez's ass.

 

Duuuude. Wanna go play some D&D in my parent's basement?
No I don't.
Fag.

 

Scene from my 4th grade year.
I wish i had some friends.
Hey! A squirrel! maybe he'll be my friend!
Do you want to be my fri...
Get away from me, ass pirate.

 

W.W.B.B.D.?
Hey big boy, wanna go have some sex?
No.
Hey big boy, wanna go have some sex?
No.
Hey big boy, wanna go have some sex?
Dude, I thought you'd never fuckin' ask!

 

"Dear Stick Guy, I'm leaving you. You've been in jail for too long. And you have a stick-man penis. Love, Susan.
Whew, now I won't have to tell her about my new girlfriend, Chuck.
It's time to play house, bend over, bitch.
I hate it when we play house.

 

Lysergic Acid Diethylamide
Hey Billy! How are you doing?
Duuude! I took a bunch of LSD, I'm trippin my fuckin' balls off!
Dude, you're a fuckin' dog on a ball man!
Fuckin' hippie.
This is so far out man!

 

The whole story about the crucifixtion.
Come my child, and bathe in the healing light of my cock!
You're such a fucking pedophile, Jesus.

 

Dude, that had to be the biggest dump I've ever taken.
What the?
Uh.... you got any gum?
Sick dude!

 

Hey little girl, want some candy?
No thanks, I don't take candy from strangers.
Well, do you want a ride home?
Nope, I don't take rides from strangers either.
Hey, don't leave! I'll blow you for a pack of pokemon cards!!

 

The South will rise again!
What's the matter soldier?
I'm getting horny thinking about your throbbing man meat, General.
And so, the South failed to rise again, for the 145th consecutive year.
Well than suck that shit!!
Sweet.

 

I may be 40, but I'm still cool.
The trench-coat mafia look went out after Columbine, fag.
Guess not.

 

Why does Disco God Father always talk about fags and pedophiles? I bet he's a gay pedophile.
And now, I, your lord and creator, Disco God Father, shall smite thee for your blasphemous thoughts.
Dammit. I hate cowboys.

 

Awkward workplace conversation.
I got three testicles.
I'm gonna go stand over there now.

 

So this is hell...
I am the keeper of the gates of Hell!
Um... I think I shouldn't have drank that "Vodka N' Barbituates" brand liquor.
Let the sodomy begin!
Sweet

 

I reckon we oughta go rangle us up our sheep.
Yeap. I reckon.
I hope he doesn't try to have his way with Ol' Bessy again...
I'll go get Bessy, you find the other 'uns.

 

Babies eating cum.
They don't even know it's cum.
Babysitting rules.
That's the sickest fucking haiku ever.

 

I've come to reap your eternal soul.
...
Don't be that guy.

 

So I go back to her place, and im all thinkin' to myself "Sweet, I'm gonna get some".
And she asks if i wanna watch a perverted movie with her, so I'm all like "fuck yeah, let's watch the shit out of it,".
So she puts on "Sweatin' To the Oldies volume 4"
Ain't nothing more perverted than watching Richard Simmons make fat people jump around.

 

So yesterday, I was walking around in the city:
Hey someone threw out a perfectly good white guy!
I guess I'm not the only one that hates white people.

 

Hey baby, want me to set your ass on fire?
What a creepy bastard.
Don't leave!
The moral of the story is: Women are like cigarettes: you don't get very far by lighting their butts on fire.
Oh well.

 

Waiting for the bus sucks ass.

 

Analyzing the life of a stoner.
Do you remember that one time ... man I was so stoned.
And then at that party, man talk about stoned, I was fuckin' wasted man.
Can we guess the theme?
Man, after I heard about the WTC bombing, I was so upset that I just had to go out and get stoned, just to calm my nerves.
Shut up

 

How to get out of a proposed second date.
I think tonight went really well, we should go out again soon.
Um... yeah... but, uh... i gotta tell you, I'm a refluxaphiliac and fecophiliac.
Huh?
It means I like to puke and shit on people while having sex.
Tactful? No. Effective? Yes.
Whew...

 

Ok, I've made the fire, slaughtered two goats a quarter of a mile away from my camp, pissed all over the place to mark my territory, and ritualistically shit myself, just so that it's out of the way.
I should be safe from coyotes now.
You forgot to take the chum out of your shirt, dude.
Shit.

 

Nationalism rules... no, really, I love it.
D'em towel-headed bastards done killed a bunch a' 'mericans.
Wez gots to go over thar and nuke them bastards n' kill em all.
I hope no one realizes three weeks ago, I didn't give a shit about the country and now I have five American flags on every car I own.

 

Something you may not have known:
Hi, Mr. Robot, I'm Richard Simmons. I quit working out and got all flabby.
I need some helping carrying some kitty litter back to my apartment, could you help me, I'd be willing to pay you back, handsomly, wink wink.
Richard Simmons is hung like a donkey.
Ok, but this time, you have to use the KY jelly, I'm still walking bow-legged from last time.

 

by Disco_God_Father
10-15-01
Yesterday, I realized, we may never find out who let the dogs out.
...
But I bet PETA had something to do with it.

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