The Sandusky Register Lasagna Debacle

Author: ERNesbitt

Date: February 19, 2002

by ERNesbitt
2-19-02
On Monday, between 9 a.m. and noon in the third floor fridge, a pan of lasagna was violated and assualted.Said lasagna was brought from my residence with a 2"x7"-long strip already eaten.
It arrived at Register in said condition at 9 a.m.
At 12:15 p.m., I retrieved the pan for lunch and noticed an additional 6-inch by 6-inch piece missing.
I interviewed the inlaws last night, the only other witnesses to the lasagna pre-assault. They confirmed that the only product removed from the pan resembled a long strip and not a square piece.
Color in the original cut area was distinctly more red (soaked longer in the sauce) than the violated piece, which had a crisp white coloration... which could only come from a recent penetration
Any information that can lead to the identification and starvation of the perpetrator would be appreciated.
Who the hell would steal lasagna?