All comics by ElTigreMask2K

Profile

 

by ElTigreMask2K
8-03-01
RoseBud!

 

by ElTigreMask2K
10-17-01
Hey Jude, help! Michelle, she's a woman -- I saw her standing there, and I love her. But I'm a loser. She loves you. What's the word? Tell me why or I'll cry instead.
Do you want to know a secret? I've got a feeling it's because of my long, long, long penis. When I'm 64 inches long, she's leaving home for no one else.
Wait! I want to tell you it won't be long after all my loving. I want you. All I've got to do is make us come together or something. Why don't we do it in the road?
The two of us? I should have known better. Oh darling, I will, any time at all, here, there, and everywhere! Hold me tight or run for your life, I wanna be your man.
Good morning, little child! Dig it, this boy says it's getting better. Happiness IS a warm gun. All you need IS love! Get back and roll over, Beethoven; I AM the walrus! Don't let me down.
Hey bulldog, slow down! Honey don't, not a second time. I'm down from yesterday and the night before. I'm so tired, let it be. I'll be back, tomorrow never knows. PS, I love you. The end.

 

by ElTigreMask2K
10-18-01
One day at the ranch...
So I says, "Well, them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!"
Ha, ha!
What the fuck are you talking about?

 

by ElTigreMask2K
10-22-01
One day in the trench...
...So I said, "Well, those stealth bombers won't generate megatons by themselves."
Ha ha!
Soldier, what the fuck are you talking about?

 

by ElTigreMask2K
10-30-01
One day at the local Swap Meet.........
Excuse me but are you selling any belly button lint at this booth?
No, but I am selling Tony Robbins.
Why would I want to buy Tony Robbins.
One of the things Tony Robbins offers is the 'safety in numbers' game.
I'll take it.
Looks like I've found yet another sucker to take advantage of!

 

by ElTigreMask2K
2-04-04
Daniel, I need to see those reports right now.
Ah, the thing is, boss, I haven't actually done them yet.
What? You'd better have a damn good excuse, Daniel.
Well, what happened was...
Daniel, why is it so bright? I feel a soothing calm coming over me.
I have not finished the reports for I am the light of GOD! All shall be forgiven.

 

by ElTigreMask2K
2-04-04
Daniel, I need to see those reports right now.
Ah, the thing is, boss, I haven't actually done them yet.
What? You'd better have a damn good excuse, Daniel.
Well, what happened was...
o/` He's going to tell. He's going to tell. He's going to tell. He's going to tell... o/`
Shut up, all of you! I told you there will be NO singing in here

 

by ElTigreMask2K
2-06-04
I like your skirt.

 

by ElTigreMask2K
2-07-04
How'd you like to be my very special elf?

 

by ElTigreMask2K
2-09-04
Dad I need some advice. I've had.................. feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our families ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor.
Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good knee cap. Secondly, I reccomend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself.
Cousin Wilford father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights?
My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins.

 

by ElTigreMask2K
2-10-04
I saw her again by the shed to Phillip. My unpure thoughts filled my pants.
Aye, she is a fine girl. Her father baked bread for the local livestock just last week.
Yes, all is well with her family Phillip. Yet, she gives me unpure thoughts. They force me to question my beliefs.
Aye, beliefs are things which are called into question from time to time.
I don't think you understand what I'm trying to tell you.....
THE BITCH GIVES YOPU A FUCKING BONER GET OVER IT!!!!!!!

 

by ElTigreMask2K
2-25-04

 

by ElTigreMask2K
7-24-04
Hey, I thought you had polio? Lets discuss this underwater for one more panel and then go to your bedroom for some reason. So, do you have polio?
Not since I got that new shot they've got on the market.
Where do you get such a shot?
Where the fuck do you think?
The hospital?

 

by ElTigreMask2K
2-05-05
WAUGHGHGHG!!!! Who are you?
I'm the ghost of testicles past. I'm here to show you how it was....and how it can once again be.....
Is it in yet?
Actually, I just finished.
Why the hell would I wanna go back to that?
Sorry that was the best memory I could find. Maybe the next spirit can do better....

 

by ElTigreMask2K
2-05-05
WauughgGGHH.....
Yes...You see, I'm the ghost of Testicles future. I'm hear to show you what will happen if you don't get that testicle problem solved right away.
So wanna come back to my place and fuck?
Sounds like a plan....
So you're saying if I don't fix my testies then I'm going to have sluts with huge tits ask me to fuck?
Actually, you were the slut.

 

by ElTigreMask2K
2-05-05
So thats what happened with the doctor. Do you think I have a case?
ARE THEY REALLY IN A KNOT? CAN I FEEL THEM? PLEASE! JUST A LITTLE!
Wow, ummm....I don't literally think they're in a knot. It's just sort of a figure of speech to use as an analogy for the pain.
I UNDERSTAND NOW....CAN I STILL SEE THEM?
You know, think I might have a better case against you than I have against the doctor.
OH PLEASE SUE THE PANTS OFF OF ME!

 

by ElTigreMask2K
2-05-05
That cake really hit the spot. My balls feel great, but I'm so tired now.
I'm the ghost of testicles past. I'm here to show you how it was....and how it can once again be.....
Dude...You already came by, I'm really tired ok. Just get off my back.
Look you ungrateful kid I'm just trying to help.
God damnit....Where does a guy haveto go to get some sleep around here?
I know a place. Its risky but it might be worth it.....

 

by ElTigreMask2K
2-05-05
Basically, all you have to do is go lay in your bed and go to sleep. But also......
Of couse! LAY DOWN! Its so simple thank you so much.
Thats not all. Also take it a little easy on the balls. Don't jerk them so much.
Thems fighting words!
Wow he dissapeared faster than a boner around Jimmy Carter.

 

by ElTigreMask2K
3-20-06
Someday I'm gonna go on a shit load of vacations and I'm just gonna be like fuck work and go live in Brazil.
Maybe even Utah.
Utah.......
Hehehehehe....I'm just kidding.
Oh ok.
We could just vacation their to do our missionary work.

 

by ElTigreMask2K
4-03-06
A young gothic couple argues about groceries at dusk....
I am not want grocercies, it has become resting hour.
Segei, for you now I am night owl and must stay on look out at night.
The decide that they will cry over who gets to decide the fate of groceries....
If I cry more I choose stay home.
I shall choose to shop if it is I that cry more.
I cry more. Let us shop.

 

1
by ElTigreMask2K
4-03-06
You know, my main problem with you people.....
You people?
Christmas.....
Stop right there. I am a seasonal stereotype NOT a holiday stereotype.
Well don't tell that to the people who sort the order of added artwork to this site.
Art? Work? What the fuck are you talking about?

 

2
by ElTigreMask2K
4-03-06
So......
Yeah.........
How high are we?
Pretty fuckin' high.

 

3
by ElTigreMask2K
4-03-06
Your taking this really hard.
I just never imagined that only dragons went to heaven.
We kind of left subliminal clues everywhere. Where did you think we all went? When humans became plentiful, we created these heavens and lived happily ever after.
Well...
Yeah, that sounds about right.

 

4
by ElTigreMask2K
4-03-06
Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No, I called that piece of wild boar shit and you shouldn't have eaten.
You knew what I was like when you married me.

 

5
by ElTigreMask2K
4-03-06
I understand I'm the only guy you've ever dated and I realize you want to test ride another cock.
Excuse me, but were you talking to me?
Oh, no, I was just practicing for when my significant other realizes that their bored in our relationship.
Carry on.

 

6
by ElTigreMask2K
4-03-06
You know, I'm not a very religious man, but I can understand those men which are religious.
I appreciate your view points and appreciate you not making a joke about me molesting young boys.
I'm not here for easy jokes. I'm here for a serious theological discussion. I want to be a religious man, I just need to hear something, anything, some kind of proof, anything, to get me to believe.
Did, you see that?

 

7
by ElTigreMask2K
4-03-06
You know man, we go all the way back to first grade. We've been through just about everything together. I just wanted you to hear it from me man, but I have AIDS and I might have given it to you.
Your dad took the news pretty hard, he was speechless. I'm just glad that you got to hear the news directly from him and didn't have to find it out on the streets.
Dad had a stroke 8 years ago and has been mentally retarded ever since. He has the mental capacity of a 2 year old. What is this news you speak of?

 

8
by ElTigreMask2K
4-03-06
I can't wait until I can be big and old like you, I bet its the best.
Other than the pubic hair its awesome.
What does pubic hair mean?
Well, its just one of your responsibilites when you get older.
What kind of responsibilites?
Well, for one, I'm about to suck off these police officers to get momma out of jail.

 

9
by ElTigreMask2K
4-03-06
I FINALLY GOT A HIP NEW PROTO BOT! What is it that you do exactly so I can show off to all my friends?
I clean your ceiling.
I FINALLY GOT A HIP NEW PROTO BOT!

 

by ElTigreMask2K
4-03-06
I'm almost positive those zombies are gonna kill us and this could be our last five minutes as humans.
Is she trying to send me a hint.
5 minutes later.....
Well, I'm just gonna go outside and let the zombies eat me and hope one of them has the decency to rape me first.
Brains?
Did I blow my shot with Cindy back there?

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