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| But Spock! Ensign Ricky is...and you're...how? | |
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| You see Captain, about three months ago I was servicing the sensor array and found Ensign Ricky in the adjacent section. At first I thought his interest in the scanning hyper-spanner was good natured. | |
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| However, as soon as my back was turned he struck me on the head and proceeded to ravish my unconscious body. Mercilessly pounding my aching anus until he was spent. | |
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| Three weeks later I became very ill in the mornings, upon recieving medical attention from Bones I learned that I was with child and what's worse, it's neither human nor Vulcan but Klingon! | |
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