All comics by Elvis_Steel

 

BTC #1: Childs Play by Elvis_Steel 4-22-04
Seriously Jane, I read it in a book, Not only do dogs have nine lives like cats, but they also always land on their feet, go on give it a try, trust me it works.		My dog is dead?

 

Definition of a toilet by Elvis_Steel 4-23-04
Darn! Temporary blindness again! And just when I needed to take a humongous leak!	Whew! Thought I'd never find the bathroom! Oh...oh, yeah...that's better...ahhhhh....	Err, Mr President sir, thats not a toilet, thats Mr Cheney's mouth

 

Reverend Peter's Last Sermon by Elvis_Steel 4-23-04
... And that was why I was in the park at four in the morning with a tube of KY and a pair of nipple clamps,	which brings me neatly onto my next point, parish coffee mornings on Fridays are now being replaced with "Spank the Lord" sessions,,	Because like our saviour Jesus, I will take punishment for your sins.

 

FTC#33: It's all in the publicity by Elvis_Steel 4-29-04
RAAAAAR! TOBOR COME TO CORNHOLE!!!! Holy Powdered Hyena Semen! How'd you get in here?	TOBOR FIND KEY UNDER WELCOME MAT. HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF TOBOR, THE RED ROBOT RUMP RAPIST? I don't believe I have.	THEY SAID SAME THING AT OSCARS ASWELL, EVEN THOUGH TOBOR GUEST OF DAVID HASSELHOFF. TOBOR NEED BETTER PUBLIC RELATIONS OFFICER.

 

The Autobiography of Lamby Eweson by Elvis_Steel 4-29-04
Even while I was little I knew I was different from the other lambs	I knew I was special, I wouldnt herd or follow the group, I didnt like chewing grass, it all seemed wrong, and I had a penchant for moonlight and howling	It was only recently that I realised what it all meant. My affinity for huffing and puffing, my weariness of girls in Red-hoods. It could only mean one thing. I was a Wolf in Sheeps clothing

 

Episode One: Deleted Scenes by Elvis_Steel 4-30-04
Master Yoda, I forsee a vergence in the force... A vergence you say????	***FART***	Nevermind

 

WW15: As Good as it Gets by Elvis_Steel 5-03-04
INT. Coutroom, A Few Good Men I WANT THE TRUTH You want the Truth? You can't handle the truth	I can handle the truth Really? Okay then.	You're a talentless midget with about as much acting skill as a five year old doing a school nativity

 

Drug of Choice by Elvis_Steel 5-04-04
Charlie? LSD? Extacy? No thanks.		Catnip?

 

FTC34:- Off on a Tangent by Elvis_Steel 5-07-04
Mom, did you and Dad go out for a long time before you got married and had me? Yes, we did.	What was your first date with him like? It was...well, let's just say it was interesting...	*Start Flashback* Have you seen my cheese?

 

BTC#4: For my next trick... by Elvis_Steel 5-10-04
20 Million Years Ago...		Wait a minute... that was YOU!?

 

Enya-G by Elvis_Steel 5-19-04
Im not sure if hiring Enya to write the Olympic song was such a good idea, she's had a change of music direction lately I’m sure her beautiful tones, keltic charm, and harmonious melodies will still shine through for the opening ceremony	Well her patented harmonies have been replaced with Rap and Hip-Hop in a bid to capture the youth market. Don't say I didn't warn you Well you're the one who told me to sack George Michael so I guess we'll just have to see...	Athens, Olympic opening ceremony. Yo!, Im the bitch whos got Game!, The Olympic Game!, Enya and her crew, here to tell you, How this shit is going down, RESPECT due to the Greece massive! Bo!

 

Overheard Conversations by Elvis_Steel 5-21-04
One day at the Scientist Convention... So then I said, "Well, the rotor turbines are not going to generate gravitons by themselves!"	Ha Ha Ha, good one profesor Hmmm

 

Your tigers-claw is no match for my superior business skills by Elvis_Steel 6-04-04
Haha, I know 5 forms of Kung-Fu, 2 forms of Karate and I was taught Judo by a tibetan monk, you do not stand a chance... I know Kaizen

 

Reagan: Just making sure by Elvis_Steel 6-11-04
*Bang* *Bang* *Bang* *Bang* *Bang* *Bang* *Bang* *Bang* *Bang* *Bang* *Bang*	*Bang* *Bang* *Bang* *Bang* *Bang* *Bang* *Bang* *Bang* *Bang* *Bang* *BANG*	Hey, it was meant to be a 21 Gun Salute not 22. What happened? We missed him the first 21 times

 

CC306:- Aids - A Theory by Elvis_Steel 12-01-05
Late 60s Mr President, as a deeply religious fundermentalist voter I insist you do something about the druggies, homosexuals and free loving hippies with their liberal un-christian ways what did you have in mind?	What we need is a way to smite them, cast off the undesirables, and leave behind the pure decent god fearing folk We would need something to target these groups, a weapon of some sort	What about a plauge? A Holy cleansing! Great idea, I'll have the boys in the lab look into this with the highest priority

 

A Guide to Prime Ministers Questions by Elvis_Steel 12-07-05
Liberal Democrat Questions Would the Right Honourable Gentleman please ignore and deflect my straight forward questions about the flawed and illeagal nature of government policies? Sure will	Conservative Questions Would the Right Honourable Gentlemen engage in unfriendly and unhelpful banter with me whilst members of the house earn their fat pay checks by whooping at our every nuance? can do	Labour Questions Would the Right Honourable Gentlemen allow me to blurt out some pre fed Government propaganda before getting on his knees and sucking my cock? Consider it done

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