All comics by Evanshow

 

by Evanshow
1-31-04
You've Got Mail
Shiznit Yo!
Do you need Ink Catridges? Would you like to add inches to your member? Even if you don't would you send us some money?
"......................."
How 'bout some viagra? You want some viagra?
It's times like this that make me glad I died 60 million years before e-mail was invented.

 

by Evanshow
1-31-04
....And thats why I never go to Denny's. As for Arbies, I find the food just doesn't complement my high standards, which are apparant from my top hat...
Oh Jesus shut up
...Have I told you about my top hat? I got it at the new Top Hat Shoppe over on 32st, I also got a burrito but not the spicy ones, they give me gas...
Hey look! A Meteor!
...I haven't seen a meteor before, I wonder if they're friendly. Do you think they'd like to hear about my top hat? It's new you know. I got it down on 31st street...
Dumbass herbivores

 

by Evanshow
1-31-04
Later that day...
So, I guess you weren't kidding about that meteor.
No shit?
So um, do you think any burrito stands survived?
If this wasn't the last cup of coffee in existance, I would so scald your bitch ass.

 

by Evanshow
1-31-04
Hey, we got a bleep on our sensors, everything ok on this planet?
Yeah, just a meteor we're ok
Hey is that an alien? Did he come here in a space ship? Dude, I totally want a space ship do you think he knows where I can get one? My dad said...
No can do lizard man.
Oh Jesus.. Take me with you, you beautiful green cyclopses!

 

by Evanshow
1-31-04
So we scrapped together enough supplies to last us a while. The town's spam factory was completely unaffected by the blast
You know, you really shouldn't be smoking, we could probably use those cigarettes for something else. Like making water filters or something.
Yeah, you're one to talk, you've been holding that empty coffee cup for 2 days now
...I like the smell

 

by Evanshow
1-31-04
What were you doing over there with those kids?
Selling them cigarettes.
And you don't see anything wrong with that?
Well, if you get them addicted now, you've got customers for life
For life until they die of juvenile lung cancer.
Touche

 

by Evanshow
2-01-04
Word up G
What do you want?
I'll cut to the chase, I need someplace to ditch my nephew for a while, and a post-apocalyptic planet seems like a safe enviroment
Ok, but you've got to do one thing for me
So anyway, you're going with the aliens to...um, buy some uh, spices... from the er... intergalactic confection store
Shiznit!

 

by Evanshow
2-01-04
Ok your friend is on board. Now, I'll introduce you to my nephew
Cool
...
...
HOLY CRAP AN ALIEN!

 

by Evanshow
2-01-04
So um, hows it going?
This was so not a good idea

 

by Evanshow
2-01-04
At around the same time, in orbit...
And this is the control room. It's where the controls are. Yeah, so that's the end of the tour.
So is this really a spaceship? Cause I saw one on a movie once and it was totally cool. Does this ship have lasers? Does it have photon torpedos does...
it go warp speed? What is warp speed anyway? Is it faster than a car? Cause my uncle had a really fast car once and it went like....fast and it was blue...
This was so not a good idea

 

by Evanshow
2-03-04
...so then I was all "No way you can eat that whole thing" and he was all "I totally can!" so then I was like "YOU SO TOTALLY CAN'T"
Ok buddy thats about enough. Say anything else and I shoot you with my ray-gun
...which by the way is set to "castrate"

 

by Evanshow
2-28-04
So can you like, read minds?
No I can't read minds you dumb bastard.
...like, what am I thinking right now?
I hate you.
Ooo, strike one.

 

by Evanshow
2-28-04
Why are you looking at me like that?
Shhh...you're ruining the moment

 

by Evanshow
2-28-04
So we should be back at your planet soon.
You'll get to go back and do whatever dinosaurs do on a day to day basis
Well geez, say something!
It's a trick! just cover your groin and slowly leap into an airlock...

 

by Evanshow
2-28-04
Wow, I didn't know he could move that fast
He was here one second and just vanished out the door the next
On one hand I should warn him he just stepped into the auto-probing booth, on the other, this could be really really funny.

 

by Evanshow
4-09-04
Welcome back.
Yeah, I'm having a problem with your friend and well...
He's in the auto-whating room?
Probing... Don't ask.

 

by Evanshow
4-09-04
Why do you even have an auto-probing room?
Well, manual probing is just to much of a hastle these days.
...
Fuckin' ew man.
Hey, you asked.

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