The True Meaning of Independence Day

Author: Externalization

Date: July 3, 2006

by Externalization
7-03-06
Every July 4th, a crowd gathers in Brooklyn to honor the ideals of freedom and democracy by holding a contest to see who can shove the most hot dogs down their throat.
The winner receives a "year's supply" of those hot dogs.
The world record is currently held by Takeru "Tsunami" Kobayashi, who ate 53½ in 12 minutes.
At that rate, he should have won 2,343,300 hot dogs.
Wow, that would be enough to feed all of the city's homeless for days!
But that one act of communism would defeat the whole purpose of the holiday.