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| Every July 4th, a crowd gathers in Brooklyn to honor the ideals of freedom and democracy by holding a contest to see who can shove the most hot dogs down their throat. | |
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| The winner receives a "year's supply" of those hot dogs. | |
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| The world record is currently held by Takeru "Tsunami" Kobayashi, who ate 53½ in 12 minutes. | |
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| At that rate, he should have won 2,343,300 hot dogs. | |
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| Wow, that would be enough to feed all of the city's homeless for days! | |
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| But that one act of communism would defeat the whole purpose of the holiday. | |
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