All comics by Glome

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by Glome
8-07-04
Bill and Pete find themselves in a sticky situation.
Who would have known it classified as a federal offense, anyway?
Looking back, I now realize I would have never done it had I known that i'd have to pay for it with my.. virginity.
Well?
Good God. I'll bet any minute a sweaty, pale and well-muscled inmate is going to take advantage of my soft flesh..
Okay, let's get the hell out of here.
I can already hear the labored, deep breathing..

 

by Glome
8-07-04
Need. Lavatory. Now.
Excuse me. Could you kindly direct me to the nearest lavatory?
You sound like a fucking robot.
I AM a fucking robot!
Really?
Not THAT kind of fucking robot..
How does, say, two hours for $50 sound to you?

 

by Glome
8-07-04
Ahh. Heh, good story.
And then I was like: "I'm the Angel of Death, asshole."
So, do you ever have any.. problems when you're taking people back to the afterlife with you?
Unfortunately, yes.. Most people are rather agreeable about it, though. I'm hoping that'll be the case for you.
...Oh shit.

 

by Glome
8-07-04
...As I was saying, psychiatrists are there to help you, Dave.
I don't know... the thought of interacting with a human being that is possibly of the opposite sex makes my frontal lobe quiver with terror and anxiety.
You talk to women all the time. You know, that 200 pound hispanic mother-of-6 at the Burger King drive-thru, or that blonde you know at work who you occasionally encounter by the snack machine.
Oh, come on.. we all know that blonde at work only likes me because I can get the Coke dispenser to work with foreign coins.
WHOA!! How in the hell did you manage to do that, man?
I've got a frickin' ENGINEERING DEGREE, dude! I'm GOING PLACES!!

 

by Glome
8-07-04
David once again plays the superiority complex...
...That, and I work with these high-tech, medical-grade, laser guns. It's some pretty dangerous stuff. You know, because I have an engineering degree and i'm smarter than you.
Uhh..
And again...
See, i'm a certified electrical engineer. I laugh in the face of circuitboard diagrams everwhere. I am
Wow..
And again.
You know, it's sad that you don't look like a supermodel. You should work out like I do.
Erm..

 

by Glome
8-07-04
See, this is just my day job. By night, I ride my super-expensive professional racing bike, scouring the dark city streets for spare change people drop.
Wow.. sounds like it's quite the exciting life you lead.
I know. I have the buff and perfectly toned body of a superhero, the strength of a superhero, and the mental sharpness and acuity for getting rich. Not to mention, I have a supermodel girlfriend.
Wow. My life is such a craphole compared to yours.
I know. It's crazy.. i'm like the frickin' Bruce Wayne of lower Littleton, man.
No doubt.

 

by Glome
8-07-04
They met, on that fateful day..
Hey! What a coinky-dink. Heh heh.
Huh? What? Who are you?
What? You.. uhh.. don't remember me? I'm Dave, the engineer? You know, from ConMed Labs?
Oh. You.
Har har, got any.. uhh.. snack machines for me to repair for you? Uhm.. hello? Hello?

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