All comics by Halvgud

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by Halvgud
6-15-04
...
Hi!
...
Are you my new teacher? *giggle*
Sadly the bloodshed was not as much to look forward to, as to experience..
...
I'm looking forward to summerschool I really am! *innocent giggle*

 

by Halvgud
6-15-04
Now, the nails go in the hands, in the kidneys, in between each spinal tap, each foot... Oh, who's that? I'd better hide!
Hey! Where are you? I did not mean to call you mudblood! I just want to be accepted into hogwar-HEY! Who are you?
I'm the one hammering nails into your eyes little girl.

 

by Halvgud
6-17-04
1+1=2, 2+1=3,
...wow, this is like a recipe of my past days' random violence row.
Have you seen my two asian friends?
hmmm..NOPE. Now scram bitch!
Don't need to be so mean about it. And what's a bitch?
Butch was going to rip her ears off, of course, but as a special treat he would dress her up like a bitch. If only he could recall where he buried that H&M model last week...

 

by Halvgud
6-17-04
Prowling after the white stripes with an axe felt good, if the sussuration would only increase a bit more now the mood would be complete.
..With a victim of course..
Any moment now...
Well, they look so soft and nice... But it's just lies and they're proparbly fake anyway! Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!
Howdy sailor! Need some comfort while you visit the White Stripes? Just follow me big boy. *wink*

 

by Halvgud
6-18-04
*SNORT*
White stripes.. forever.. wow!
It's cool esse, it's just... heaven.................... .............*sigh*.......... ................................... oHMyGoD! No nonononononoSPIDERS!!!!!nononoNOOO!

 

by Halvgud
6-18-04
Hey BOSS! Get up from the floor! You must run! Runrunrunrun!!!
...huh...?
Like, NOW man!
I'll just light my cigar first... *BLAFF*
F'gettit!
Oh, right, mama said something about not lighting fires in a cartoon.. or... *ack*

 

by Halvgud
6-18-04
I hope you learned something today.
Yeah I did.
What did you learn?
That outside of these squares i can be nekkid. heh-heh-heh.
Hey! remember i can see what you're thinking, this is a cartoon not real life!
D*MN! That's my lesson for today i guess... Well, now that we're done here, how about checking out that kama-sutra book i found? I'll even let you choose first, fan boy.

 

by Halvgud
6-18-04
Hi.
Hello.
I'm just here for the tea.
All I have is coffee.
..and your soul.
Oh, in that case...

 

by Halvgud
6-18-04
Our unknown hero makes a deadly move against Death, Destroyer of Worlds etc...
..eat hot naphta, evil dog!
Death was incinerated in a flash of fiery napalm, as made by law-abiding harvard students all over the world..
But since he IS Death...the result is obvious. And boring, not to mention the lack of punchlines in this series. Just wait, got a good one coming up.
FOOL.
YIKES!

 

by Halvgud
6-18-04
It is time to go to hell, boy.
What, right now? Can I go to the little men's room first?
In the secret laboratory of Don Rosa...
Are you done? *sigh* Always trying to postpone the moment...
Hehehe! Take THIS! *rub-rub-rub*
What the...! HEY! Where's my scythe? *shiver* Have you any idea what you just did?!? I'm DEATH! You CAN'T do this to me!

 

by Halvgud
6-18-04
You don't know, but some people would accuse me of portraying death as a worn-out skeleton, but i beseech thee, that is not my intent. I really do have respect for Him, just not alot.
Hehehe! So? Had enough? Are you going away now or do you want to be completly erased? *waving rubber around in an unsafe way*
FOOL! Know that my powers are unlimited! I can take any guise i wish! *POOF*
(quicklychangecharacterbeforeany onenoticesanythongsound) *POOF*
uh..
Tremble before Me:Death! Destroyer of Worlds! The Final Word! Terminator! The Last Straw! The One Who Shuts The Door!
Very good bye. This is just too boring. Come back when you got some -real- routine and a decent change of clothes. ..the last straw? Sheesh.
Hey wait! You haven't seen my scary "old lady" yet! Wait! Please?

 

by Halvgud
6-18-04
Pooe Death is depjessed, nowody seems do dake him sejiously... So he searches for Satan, an old pal, for comfort and a cuddle.
There, there. Now what is the matter? Tell uncle Satan all about it now, remember: Even 18-year old big boys cry when circumcised and bathing the pecker in a soda-natrium solution.
*bouhouhou* Nobody fears me anymore!
What? Did you use your "old lady" routine?
I tried... but he used a rubber and... I couldn't do it! *WHAAAAAA!!!* *cries like a sissy*
Now, obviously you didn't mistake the rubberpun i just made, now did you?
A rubber? Unheard of! Unless.. Was it J. Constantine?
uh, no? No. It wasn't him at all....i think. Um.. *blush*

 

by Halvgud
6-18-04
I love you.
You love me.
Homosexuality..
Mama thinks we're just good friends.
Actually...
We're lesbians!

 

by Halvgud
6-21-04
Hi, I'm the narrator. Just hang with me and you'll get some kind of behind the scenes look at things.
Now this is where I feel most at home, this is because I'm an earthsign, namly: Capricorn. Even though I don't eat cornflakes. (ba-da-bump!)
And according to most of my friends this is my other favourite place, at least that's where I seem to be at all times... Depressing Is it not?

 

by Halvgud
6-21-04
Flying through the air like rhinoceros on weed are two spiritual images..
I'm Mirre, the cat back home. I'll never meet Klatremus and Co coz they are with Halvgud. *rawr*
That's right, but only because the Animal-Rights Association would be on me like so many sharks.. And you're 500miles away and I won't pay for your ticket.
Pay attention!
*muttermumble* Miaow!
Now over here I'll give you a descript of my closest friends.
I'm a quarter of my brother. That means he can kick my ass because HE has TRAINED in the physical martial arts of JEET-KUNE-DO. Also he's a DJ. So... Don't! Misbehave.
Now, this here is the general background in all my friends' rooms. I'll walk you through some of my friends as well. Let's GO!

 

by Halvgud
6-24-04
I know, this strip should contain a few friends so here it comes:
*chip-chip-chip*
My axe?? You're next chippy.
Didn't you get it? I guess nobody did.
Here boy!

 

by Halvgud
6-24-04
I present the famous Christian Hans, whom never ever shall fall into the trap of Red Mist Giving Me These Headaches like my Father.
I represent something this boy never had. Class and Style and the cool monochrome outfit combined with a voice that Enrique would give his left testicle for.
I was the guy's first gf, but he didn't love me like i loved him. Seems a good deal of people do..
I personify Øgli(Lizzu), one of the goons that pushed him around in his early schoolyears..
I don't know if the ape is a secret view about my world opinion or not.
I'm his late Grandmother, I passed away and he thought my cancer was his fault...poor lad.
I'm just here for the banana.

 

by Halvgud
6-24-04
"I'm singing a song about feelings between clams, i singing about feelings between shell."
"They don't fuck around but that's okay."
*Ominous silence*
We don't? *furiously making the clam equivalent of blushing*
No we don't. Wait just a minute... Jim-Bob? Is there something you want to tell me?!

 

by Halvgud
6-24-04
That belt lookes real nice. And the boots I think are real leather. Nothing absorbes heat more than dead skin... MmMmm..
Now listen, are you cooperating here or not? Your van smells like you dump bodies with it, but i'm no man to label people, so what do you say? Name?
Stab? Suffocate? Grab pen and stab in the eye? Decisions, decisions...
And you should watch those farm implements of yours, doesn't look like they have been cleaned in a while..
In his mind, Butch didn't mind adding the officer to his luggage, but it was getting cramped. Maybe mother was right. Kill'em and Leave'em. Don't Save'em and Cop'em.
Butch. Okay? My name is Butch. Can i go now? *mumblemumble*
I still have to check your luggage, can't be too careful these days.

 

by Halvgud
6-24-04
The desert hid everything so neat. If there was any justice in the world nobody would cop that cop again. Unless they practiced some wyrd voodoo anyway..
YO!
Now what...?
Are you the Acmeâ„¢ delivery boy? Do you have the new Stiff-i-gun I've been waiting for?
In the mean while, butch would get that delivery boy. This could be fun if tv had told any truth about this here Wile Y. Coyote...
Look behind you, a roadrunner.
Be riiight back! *ZOOM*

 

by Halvgud
6-24-04
He looked like a ho'boy and nothing would taste better than a ho'boy nadger on a stick.
Hey man, seen a coyote around here?
O-kay geezer. Good bye.
Look at this knife, can you deliver your package to me? HEY! Look at me! LOOK AT... oh, what's the point...
As the kid lay there coughing blood, Butch found a folder that the kid had carried around. With wide eyes he wondered what the "Squeal-o-maker" could do a cold and rainy night, at home or at large..

 

by Halvgud
6-24-04
Wile was thinking: I get these gifts from mysterious "W-Bros" and the only thing i had to do was recieve them. "Timing is important" But if the delivery is late, how can there be timing?
Package for you!
*daydreaming*Delicious roadrunner steak, served with just a hint of-What? Show me!
This is a special "Make-a-wound"-kit, just for you!
Cool shiny quality, how does it work? Hey! Whatta- *urgh*
As by magic, the coyote re-appears with no griveous wounds.
?!?
You IDIOT! Now the whole strip is for nothing! Didn't your mother teach you ANYTHING! I can survive everything! But it has to be at the END of the strip, you know?

 

by Halvgud
6-24-04
So, you're telling me that what ever i do, you'll just keep popping back again?
It's the truth. Here, just try again. Stab me from behind.
Axing someone with their own consent was not entirely satisfying... But hey! Always try something new!
So using this axe like a golfclub and your head as a ball is futile?
Just you try and-*ack*
Spoilsport. Bloody spoilsport... but wait, an idea came to the virulent brain of Butch.
...
See? Hey, What's up with the glare?

 

by Halvgud
6-25-04
Here's your new home!
Let me out of the box this instant! I must go back to my desert and my roadrunner!
What the..?
*meep-meep*
Meanwhile, the farmer had just spotted the coyote, and brandishing his 12-gauge was walking silently towards the predator...
See? A whole farm of roadrunners, all to yourself. Ok? Bye!
Thank you! *drool*

 

by Halvgud
6-25-04
Watching the news following his own roadtrip of entrails wasn't the joy he had anticipated, knowing that a certain coyote was still alive..
Butch made a mental note of visiting these "We-bros" the coyote had talked about.. If these creators were smeared up against a wall or three, those powers would transfer to him instead..?
There can be only one!
The sound of footsteps in the stairs stopped...
..and in other news, the little town of Fauske in Norway has been acclaimed the birthplace of a computer viz nickname'd Aqualicy.
No! NOOO! Where am I? What is this place? What have I done now??? Halvgud! You'll pay for this!!!

 

by Halvgud
6-26-04
Hey Chtulhu!
What is it now.
Bet you have a hell of a reputation with the ladies.
How so?
All those tentacles in your face.. *slobber*
...

 

by Halvgud
6-28-04
"There is a place not far from here.."
"Where you can be happy and share the community sphere.."
"If you're down we love you the more.."
"unless you have a love for steel and not of gore.."
"you're in the haven of a tomb.."
"..where friendly worms dig you every inch for the boon."

 

by Halvgud
6-30-04
Soo.. I'm going to america.
For a month..
And won't do anything here.. Unless I win the lottery. (subsequently giving me the freedom to buy myself a computer, 1 target courtesy of Bush, and a donut.)

 

by Halvgud
6-30-04
Now don't get me started on america!
I know...
But I just did this to catch a point I can't change because of temporal relativity(And I'm not a donor...yet)
He's on to something here. Might be sleep, being fever-drunk about all those american dreams.
So my point is, that if you pay attention and don't get drafted into the army, you'll be a better cheese next war. And Norwegian commando troops are better than SEAL. So there!
Look kids! There's only 28 states in the US!
That's the point? Cheezus.

 

by Halvgud
7-17-04
Hi, I'm a kid with a stripcreator license to fill.
I tried Taco Bell. And now i don't like Taco Bell.
But he's found religion in Skittles® and Red Bull®!
He visited mushroomland but didn't bother to visit me (LAH)..
He saw our "Glows-In-The-Dark" Ouijaboard on sale at Meijer. He's a target of conspiracy now.
You don't know how much I'd like to have a loaded gun right now.

 

by Halvgud
7-17-04
You should know that Toledo geographically resembles Denmark.
YO! I'm Modest Mouse. I'm sweet.
You know.. This reminds me of something..
The area of Sylvania, Toledo, is populated by 80% kids on weed.
To-le-ho!
Wow... Mushrooms and Cocaine and Pot... With these visions I don't need no logic...
I am a drive-by away from Eminem's hometown.
He gonna meet JOE Maan! Joe Cartoon The MAKER Mmaaan! Wazzaaap!
So, he could afford to travel 2000 miles by plane to america, but could not save $200 for gas money to see me!? *mumble..*

 

by Halvgud
7-17-04
You know....
I cheer leader, will show sexy pose.
I, Fratboy, will get piece of action.
At night...
*Hearsay-Valley-Split-Kick*
Da thong!!!
There's cable-porn...
Was pose sexy for Fratboy?
Fratboy needs take shower, cold.

 

by Halvgud
7-18-04
...
Oh my GOD! My dear neighbour! Chopped to 207 easily puzzled parts! Who could have done this to him!
*rigor mortising*
You know, that man behind you has a weird face. It would suggest that he either has chronic constipation or wants to kill us all.
Afterwards, across the street...
How easily fooled these americans are. They're no match for me.
Another teenage wannabe killer... Wonder if this one'll stand up to the "only-two-teeth" torture.

 

by Halvgud
7-18-04
Now, if you had a knife and a target, but your target was across the street full of innocent-
Easy, use my innate ability to appear behind target and kill in front of everybody.
..innocentennial robots made to destroy anybody who kills?
..SHIT! You made that one up!
Suddenly! Out of nowhere!
Terminate.Wannabe.Killer. Terminate.Wannabe.Killer.
D: +Whatsup.doc/later/mode=to_be_continued.exe

 

by Halvgud
7-18-04
I know how.
You know not.
I know how.
You know not.
He knew it was too late for reason...
I. Know. How.
You know not.

 

by Halvgud
7-30-04
I have come.
You are to die.
I'll be slow this time...

 

by Halvgud
8-01-04
Are you alone?
I haunt you tonight, cause YOU are alone!
Have you met my mom?
Look around, she's right behind you.
I don't know how you did that, but now i got to nail her down. Again.
I'll leave you to re-unite with all the love of 12-inch automatic nail guns..

 

by Halvgud
8-07-04
Now see here, your problem as far as i can tell is-
FALSE EXPECTATIONS!?
No. If you could put that book away and pay attention for a minute i'll explain this situation for you one more-
You didn't let me finish reading that book! You remind me of my mother ...
Butch got curious, if he knew about mothers wig then he knew about mother, and if he knew about mother then he knew more..
So your mama was a forty year old baldie with a beergut and a 9inch lower tool?
Say, want to come home to my place? I got a 9inch *whispers:knife* too!

 

by Halvgud
4-28-05
Yo!
AAARGH!
oh.
Spinal tap?

 

by Halvgud
5-06-05
I want to taste your bloodline...
We apologize for this important deed, while within your need, is dying and not available for love today.
When can i open my eyes?
I have your eyes on my shelf in thirty-four years and seven hours + seconds... *laughs*

 

by Halvgud
5-26-05
Yes! They want me back! NVW rules!
"Stol på kraften, gut."
You don't exist! I use medicine now! Get away from me!
Ha Ha Ha! You can never be rid of me! I'm in your head!
Will halvgud find himself in the matrix? Is the gay viking really pulling his.........uh, dude!...Just keep reading!
It's in my head? Everything?
*Laughs* This is too easy...

 

by Halvgud
5-27-05
Wow, this forum is great! They even have that video clip of the presidential candidate that stripped for extra points in her campaign earlier this month! *...downloading...*
*ahem*
Yes,what is it now viking-in-my-head?
You failed to praise Mad-eye, therefore you are gay and must delete all porn on your computer.
"Do what must be done!"
%#(/¤&#)="/¤&¤"!!!
And none of that "Checking for ammo" business for at least a week!

 

by Halvgud
5-30-05
Cool! 17inch black flatscreen monitor! Wow! Battlefield 2 Keyboard! Yeah! This is mine! Everything is mine! *places order on www.komplett.no*
Damn them two-weeks shipping time...
*ahem*
WHAT!?!
Trying to make me uncomfortable now? I've used real money, paid bills, ordered clothes, a new PC, even invested in all the seasons of the famous Babylon 5!
I'm just here to remind you of the acid flashbacks you are going to experience soon.. *chuckles*

 

by Halvgud
6-03-05
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Acid Flashbacks?
Don't worry, John is here for you.
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
John?
John is just your imagination, my name is Hal.
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
Muad'Dib? Arrakis? Hal? What the hell?
AH, YESH; HELL! COME HERE SWEETIE!

 

by Halvgud
6-03-05
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
Don't TOUCH me!
SILENCE! BOW DOWN BEFORE ME!
" 'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door;
Bow down?
if i could speak, i'd tell you to chop your nose off and put it in a bottle, see if i don't.
Only this, and nothing more."
Woah! Butch?
This is my wand, there are many like it but this one is MINE! My wand is my best friend. It is my life. My wand without me is useless. Without my wand, I am useless....etc.

 

by Halvgud
6-03-05
Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December, And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
...
Eagerly I wished the morrow; vainly I had sought to borrow, From my books surcease of sorrow, sorrow for the lost Lenore,
"Lenore rhymes with 'Whore'.
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore, Nameless here forevermore.
He's on acid, right?

 

by Halvgud
6-08-05
Meanwhile, somewhere familiar...
Format C: Continue: (y)es, (n)o?
Ax me no butcha, i'll edit yo Co'puta!
Format C: Continue: (y)es, (n)o?
Wait, i know this one... it's a riddle! A devilish contraption meant to (lemleste) my viking brood! I shall prevail!
Dearly beloved, we now follow this young man struggling with his acid flashbacks from a bad batch of Burnbow's "Trooper Bullets", and our friend is re-living BF1942(midway).
Sho' nuff! Sah!
*skurr*Follow Me!*skurr*

 

by Halvgud
8-28-05
I have you now!

 

by Halvgud
8-28-05
*meeeow*
Hoa! Leave that cat alone you freak!

 

by Halvgud
9-04-05
*meeeow?*
*Fsssst*
I'll count to three, and then BANG! BOOM! SPLASH! Get it? Huh? You get it, freak?

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