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| When I was in 4th grade, a girl I liked kissed me during recess. Immediately following the kiss, I vomited all over her brand new dress. | |
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| I then fell to the ground and started spasming uncontrollably. I told her I was suffering an incurable disease, and my reaction was not because of her. She believed me. | |
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| My name's Curtis, and I'm an actor. | |
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