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| Hello I'm julie chen, poor mans connie chung reporting on the president! | |
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| Today a war was started by the south, and the union has been split once more, but don't worry everything is in the presidents able hands | |
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| oh yes his able hands! They are VERY able | |
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| Gill Binton.... oh god this country is so screwed.... wait did I say that on camera? Cut the camera cut the camera! | |
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| Lay off *****, he's my man, he'll only be screwing ME! | |
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