All comics by Jay

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by Jay
12-12-02
On a bright beautiful sunny day.. Jay and Mel frollicked in the fields.
Hey Mel, I was thinking. We've been together for almost two week's now. And well, lets fuck.
Jay, you've asked me that at least six times this week.
Damn, maybe I should word it different.. Gotta be more sensitive. How about... "Mel, will you sleep with me?"
So what do you want to do?
Mel, will you sleep with me?
...

 

by Jay
12-13-02
Jays Bedroom... Jay and Zack break out the bong.
Come on man, where's the shit?
I just called him five minute's ago, he should be here soon. Chill.
A knock is heard at the door. Jay answers.
Hey man. Ive recently converted to buddhism and choose to live a life of peace and solitary meditation. Live long and prosper.
Can I still get my dime bag?
Damn, that was the fourth dealer this week.

 

by Jay
12-13-02
Back in Jays room...
Did you get it?
He went Buddhist
Come on, It's been like 3 minutes.. Dude, what the hell are you looking at?
www.MILF.com, Do you know where your mom has been?
Hiidddeyyyho! Im Jimmy the squirrel. How are you today!
Why does this alway's happen to me?

 

by Jay
12-13-02
The ancient battle, devil and god. An endless saga...
You will die by my blade, Saint Bob.
May the power of Jesus compel you.
The fight rages...
Now Bob, feel my wraith. *SLASH*
May the power of Jesus compel you.
And in the end, evil conquers... or does it?
Bwahahahaa Dark alway's conquer's the light!
May the power of Jesus compel you.

 

by Jay
12-13-02
Hello.. this is.. a public.. announcement... by... God.
Hi, im God!
For every new jew that revert's to Christianity, I will reward a free chocolate Dreidel.
This has been a public message... by God.
Have a nice day.

 

by Jay
4-25-03
So, I was thinking. What's so good about being a priest anyway? No sex, no alcohol, no smoking.
Helping the children, through my connection with god. And the love of Jesus. We welcome all within our doors.
I guess Priest's aren't such bad guys after all.
Look at that piece-o-ass. Mmm. Fashizzle.

 

by Jay
4-25-03
Jimmy, did you ever feel your the only normal one, and everyone else is just different?
...
...
Your on a grass field talking to an imaginary squirrel... Have you tried a therapist?

 

by Jay
4-25-03
Mel and Jay have a quiet evening in his bedroom.
So, today I got up. And I went to my dresser, and there was like no clean socks. So ya know, I was all like oh my god. And I was so mad. And then I went downstairs and you wouldnt believe this!
...
The dog, was on the floor. And it was chewing my Mr. Squigly bear! So I screamed, and my dad came down. And he's like, oh my god, whats wrong? And I was just like, oh my god, look what the dog did!
Jay, Jay? Are you listening to me?
Girlfriend, no reserve, starting bid 50 dollars. Mint condition, never tampered with, excellent voice box.

 

by Jay
4-25-03
How the Civil War really started.
Hey South, whats new? I heard ya got a nice load of cotton this year.
Dude, your getting a Dell!
Charge!!!

 

by Jay
4-25-03
Arguing on the internet...
Dawg, how be you thinking Nelly sucks? He be the baddest nigga around, you aint got nothin on him cracka.
...is like running in the special olympics...
Dude, like no way. Rap sucks soooo much. Weezer is the man, Punk rock dude! Punk! Go rob a bank you dumb black!
...even if you win, your still a retard.
Hav yoo seen my weener?

 

by Jay
4-25-03
The urge... the sensation... the cheese sense...
Cheese Wiz...
...always running... must reach a goal... the cheese draws near...
Cheese Wiz...
...finally leaching the goal... the treasure... the endulgment. Cheese Wiz.
Mmm... Cheeze Wiz.
Im the low budget Cheese Wiz bowl...

 

by Jay
4-25-03
Jay run's into his dad soon after his Cheese endulgence.
Hey Dad.
Son, we need to talk.
About what?
I know about your addiction.
I swear, it was only that once! And I mean, it wasn't even the good stuff. A dime bag, not even laced!
...I was talking about the Cheese Wiz...

 

by Jay
4-25-03
After Jay's accidental blurting of his drug problem, his parent's decide to send him to the AaDAoAA
Hello Jay, Welcome to Alcoholics and Drug Abusers of All Ages Anonynmous. The AaDAoAA. Aaahdaaaooaaahhh Now repeat after me. "I can do it! I can repent my sins towards god, I do not need drugs!."
Uh, what the hell kind of bullshit cult is this? Im out of here.
Do not leave my presense! Do you damn yourself to the devil? Sell your soul to the beast! Kneel or be knelt in the name of christ! Your soul is evil!
Ummm.. nope.
Jay quickly made his exit.
Oh well, hey guys. Let's get a beer. I hear the "Bible Man in Heat" strip club got a two for one special.

 

by Jay
4-25-03
Rock, Paper, Scissor
Rock
Paper
Rock, Paper, Scissor
Scissor
Rock
Explosion
hehehe

 

by Jay
4-25-03
Welcome to today's episode of: The Outback Bull Hunter!
Hey there mate! Today we have a Wild Canadian Muskrat Bull in heat just nearby!
Are you sure this is safe?
Crikeys! Here it comes! Just remember what I said earlier, stop, drop, and roll.
Uh, isn't that what you do for a fir--- AIIEEEEE
The moral of the story? Don't lick Toads.
Muh
Nice Canadian Muskrat Bull in heat. That's a good girl! Hey Mate, just stay there, its bound to move off you soon.

 

by Jay
4-26-03
Ha, you blinked.
Damn it.

 

by Jay
4-26-03
In the deep bowels of Jay's mind wher
Heheh, bunny chick with boobs.
e anything can happen, where his tho
ughts and dreams become a reality.
Pervert.

 

by Jay
4-26-03
I mean, who actually believes in all this bible shit? Thou shalt not curse thy god's name or thy shall be smitten.
Yea, I know man. It's just a bunch of crap, there is no god. It's all a government conspiracy.
Thunder strikes above and the voice of god bellows.
Man... im white.
Dude! I have boobs, there is a god!

 

by Jay
4-26-03
So you wouldn't believe what happened, I drove to K-mart. And there were these cute little socks on sale for 10 dollars. So like, I got them. And I brought them up, and they were all like, 15 dollars!
BZZZZP, THAT IS VERY INTERESTING. JAY LIKE TALKING TO YOU, PLEASE CONTINUE.
BZZZZP, I AGREE, YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE HAD TO PAY 15 DOLLARS, BZZZP JAY LIKES TALKING TO YOU.
The technology of tomorrow... today.

 

by Jay
4-26-03
Squeeeeeeeeek
Blub... blub...
~~~ The Humans Evolution Chart ~~~
Ouuu, ouuuu, ahhhh ahhh
Bow down to Christianity, all your Children are belong to us. Resistance is futile.
KEEL ALL AMARAKANS, ALLAH 4 PRESYDENT
Here's the pound of dope, hurry! There's the cops!

 

by Jay
5-01-03
War, war. It's a bore! War, War, Where not for!
Dude, just give it up. This anti-war bullshit is getting old.
It's you young bastards who make this world the place it is. Now get out of my face before I degut you with a plastic spoon, hang you upside down by your toes. And feed you to a dying african minister

 

by Jay
5-01-03
Jay wakes up one morning to a knock at the door...
*Yawn* What the hell do you want Wes?
Ehehehehe Dude, like. The Fantasy and gaming show is in town! Eheheh
That stuff's for losers, fantasy was so last year.
They'll have pokemon orange.
...I'll grab the car keys...
Sweet!

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