Andy Dougan - Film Critic.

Author: Kevin_Keegans_Perm

Date: September 30, 2001

Andy is called into the office.
Andy. Ive been reading your reviews lately. Dont you think youre being a little harsh on Russell Crowe sometimes?
Boss , i cant just praise him because he won an oscar by showing off his pecs and saying as little as possible.
Look. We want to run a contest giving away cinema tickets for a year , but no cinema chain will touch us because of your reviews.
Look. Im a journalist. I have my integrity. I wont compromise for anyone , especially not when im right.
"Russell Crowe is more wooden than the entire contents of a B&Q Warehouse. Do not use firelighters near this man"
Yeh. And that was just describing his performance when he split up Tom and Nicole.