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| "The United Nations today concluded a study that shows that global warming is increasing faster than previously thought." | |
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| That's ludicrous! Only an idiot would believe that the earth is getting hotter and hotter because I drive a beat up Caddilac! | |
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| The UN also said that spontaneous combustion is not entirely unfeasible now, and that flammable people should submerge in water. | |
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