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| Next, on Channel Juan News, the recent conviction of Martha Stewart. Flumpina Schnappenbooger is here with the story. Flumpina? | |
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| Thanks, Jooflum. There's a new twist in the seemingly wrapped-up Martha Stewart case today. | |
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| Yes, it seems that even though the case is closed, a NEW witness has popped up, and demands to testify. | |
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| This, however, may spark a separate trial, because the witness is claiming something completely unrelated to insider trading. | |
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| The witness, a Mr. 'Sting Kong', has claimed that Martha Stewart is really a giant, migratory flying insect that feasts on trees and destroys vegetation. | |
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| She was formerly undefeated in the Taiwanese Wrestling Association for 10 years as 'Motha Stewart'. | |
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